Shaking my head, refusing to let him manipulate me, I asked. “Why Sarah?”
Taking a deep breath, he blew it out slowly. “Because you needed to see who I am, Kloe. Your love, it’s foolish. Childish. I warned you. I told you to leave. I’m not the gentleman that’s going to make life good for you. I won’t sweep you off your feet, marry you and make babies with you like some damn romance novel.”
Out of all that, it was the baby comment that hurt, and I spat. “Make babies?” A bitter laugh made him blink at me. “Oh, your father made sure I’d never have babies, you fucking bastard.”
He froze. His face paled and the sound of his wheeze in the quiet of the room was nearly deafening. His whole body started to tremble and he clenched his fists. “What did you say?”
I smiled coldly, tilting my head to the side. “Yeah, I know. Didn’t you think I’d find out about Terry, or Brian, or whoever the hell he is?”
He shook his head. “No, not that. About him making sure you can’t have babies.”
Perspiration made the gun slip a little in my grasp and my hands wobbled. “I lied,” I whispered. “When you asked if he’d raped me.”
His chest heaved with the pull of his gulps for air. Rage shimmered around him, the air practically marbling in front of me. I stepped back when the feral growl tore from him. “Why did you lie?” His voice was quiet and restricted by the clench of his teeth.
Wanting him to know the truth, I answered honestly. “Because you told me that when I was honest with you I could leave. I didn’t want to be honest. I didn’t want to leave you.”
Shock rendered him mute and he stared at me.
“Yeah,” I scoffed. “Stupid, huh?” Tears blurred my vision and I blinked them back quickly. “He killed my mother, and then he raped me. He paid me in food. I was nine. At nine years old I became a whore. NINE!” I screamed.
His head shook and for a brief moment, the vulnerable and scared Anderson Cain surfaced. “Kloe.” My name was broken, choked out. He stepped towards me and I shook my head.
“Don’t come near me!” He didn’t stop so I fired again. “I said no! You knew, Anderson. You used me.”
He stopped but remained silent, just watching me. I saw the emotion in his eyes, my revelation burning a hole into his mind.
“How long have you known who I am?”
He blinked, swallowing, and shook his head slightly. He appeared to be struggling, his many thoughts governing his expressions. “A while.”
I shouldn’t have been as hurt as I was. I should have known, seen it. A part of me wondered if I was so desperate for acceptance and love that I had unconsciously seen it but chosen to ignore it. Bury the truth just so I could live a lie.
“Why, Anderson? Why? I don’t understand how you can hate me so much.”
His eyes narrowed and pain flashed back at me. “You still don’t get it do you?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever understand,” I whispered honestly. “You. Me. Or any of this. Fate is a fucker, but surely life isn’t that cruel.”
He laughed loudly, staring at me like I was stupid. But then blinking as though something just occurred to him, he frowned and looked to the floor. “It doesn’t make any sense,” he mumbled quietly. “Why? It doesn’t make sense.”
“What? What doesn’t make sense?”
He became frantic, his fists opening and closing as he tried to deal with whatever emotion was rolling over him. “He chose to keep you. Why? Why would he do that to you?”
Wincing, realising he was talking about Terry, I looked away from him, shame bubbling under my skin and making my whole body prickle with awareness.
It was a stupid thing to do.
Within seconds, he was on me. He grabbed the gun and his large hands seized the tops of my arms. Flinging me like a piece of meat, he came over me as soon as my back thudded on the floor. The back of my head bounced off the carpet and fear snatched my breath when he leered in my face. “Let’s see what you’re made of now. See how fucking tough you are without a bullet to back you up.”
I thrashed beneath him when he tore at my jeans, yanking them down my legs as he used his body to hold me down. I spat at him and snarled like a wild animal, fighting him all the way. Rage made me stronger, gave me the fuel I needed to slam my head forward.
“Fuck!” he seethed when my forehead connected with his nose.
Using the opportunity, I rolled over and scrambled away.
“Not so fast.”
Kicking out when he slammed his body on me, squashing me face down into the carpet, I caught him in the shin and he hissed. “I think I like you like this. Face down, under me. Can you feel how hard my cock is, Kloe? Hmm, can you?”
“Bastard!” I spat, looking over my shoulder at him.
He grinned at me. I was struggling to breathe, the weight of him on top of me squashing my lungs when I heard him pull at the zip of his jeans.
“Don’t you dare!” I warned.