I rolled my shoulders and moved away from the crowd, grabbing a second bottle of water. It was stupidly fucking hot, and all I wanted was a cold shower to wash this paint from my body. It was still wet, and I could feel it trickling down my body and beneath my tank. It was gross.
I was all ready to go back to my car until I saw Lani, sitting on the back of a bench, a camera in her hand and pointed at the finish line. She was too far away to see if she was taking any photos, but it looked like it.
Our last conversation flitted through my mind. Pulling the Xavier card was a shitty thing to do, but if she knew about the shelter, she’d want to know why I did what I did. She’d have to know why I went and how I started, and I didn’t want to relive those stupid, immature memories with her. They were nothing more than bad choices.
Bad choices I didn’t want her knowing about.
Bad choices she didn’t need to know about.
I screwed the cap back on my water and headed in her direction. She was like the sun—I couldn’t help but be caught up in her pull. It was irresistible, even when she was frowning at the tiny screen on a silver digital camera.
Lani glanced up through her thick, dark eyelashes as I approached. Her fresh, pink fingernails stood out against the camera as she raised it. “Smile,” she said quietly, the barest twitch of her lips making her smile.
I was such a fucking idiot, but I did it. I smiled, holding the water bottle, covered in what felt like three inches of paint. The click of the camera was strangely obvious, and the moment she dropped the camera, I moved back toward her.
“Do you mind?”
She looked from the camera to me from under her lashes again. “You don’t usually ask me.”
“Do you?”
She waved her arm in a move that was either dismissive or careless. I picked careless, so I climbed up onto the bench next to her. I made sure not to touch her. I didn’t think she’d be too happy if I did.
“I’m mad at you, you know,” she said without looking up from her camera. “That shit you pulled earlier was stupid.”
“You mean the Xavier shit.”
“No, the Humpty Dumpty shit.”
I glanced at her and lifted my water bottle to my mouth. “It might not look like it, but I’m trying to protect you, Lani.”
“Right.” She flicked through images on her camera. “All you’re trying to do is protect me from a guy who’s exactly like you because if you can’t have me, nobody else can.”
I coughed. “That’s a jump.”
“That’s the truth. You lost your shit over me talking to him, yet you have no issues telling me exactly how you’d like to fuck me.” She clicked off her camera and tucked it into her girly, floral backpack. “Even when I was trying to cope with the fact someone tried to drug me.”
A thick lump formed in my throat and took up residence there. Fuck—she was right. Guilt swirled in my stomach, but my mouth didn’t relay that. “You didn’t exactly react badly to me, did you?”
Lani flicked one of her long fingernails, took a deep breath, and looked out at the finish line. “Let’s be real, Brett. I’m not a robot. I’m an adult woman. You’re horribly attractive, and when you say shit like that to me, of course my body is going to respond. That’s natural, believe it or not. It doesn’t mean I want to feel that way.”
I didn’t speak.
“And the only time you get to act on the way I feel is when I say so.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Not because you think it’s right or because you think you know what I want. If I want you, Casanova, I’ll tell you. You get that?”
I nodded and leaned forward. My elbows rested on my knees and I clasped my water bottle between my hands. “Problem is, kitten, I doubt you’ll tell me if you want me. When you want me.”
“You like the word ‘when,’ don’t you?”
I jerked my face toward her, thinning my lips. “Lani, I felt the way your heart beat beneath my hand on Saturday night. That wasn’t reluctance.”
“Maybe it was.”
“Maybe it was a filthy little lie.”
“Maybe you should keep your shitty opinions to yourself.”
I scratched the side of my nose and sighed. My attention was drawn back to the race. Numerous people crossed the line, covered in paint just like I was. We watched as they passed us, one-by-one, and after a moment, Lani pulled her camera back out. The button clicked with each press of her thumb. Temptation flickered through me, so I leaned over and looked at the little screen. The photos were all of paint-covered people running the race. I could pick out the people I knew relatively easily, and I couldn’t resist a smile as I saw usually well-put together people the complete opposite.
I saw the camera for what it was—an excuse not to talk to me. But I wasn’t going to let that fly.
“Are you going to go out with Xavier?”
“Still none of your business,” she said without looking up. “He hasn’t even asked me.”
“He will.”
“And it won’t be your business then.”
“All right. I’ll just have to find out when the date will be and stalk you the entire time.”
She dropped the camera to her lap and gave me a blank stare. “Really, Brett? Do you know how childish you sound?”
“Yes.” My lips quirked to the side. “I don’t know why you think I care.”
Her sigh was heavy, and she pushed her hair from her face. “You’re starting to piss me off.”
“Look.” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, and looked over at her. “You don’t know Xavier. I do. You might go into a date thinking you’re gonna have a nice, quiet evening, but the entire time, he’ll be looking for another girl to take home.”
Lani raised her eyebrows. “Really? He’d, what? Take me for dinner and leave with someone else?”
God, she was cute.
“No. He’d take you both home.”
Her eyebrows went up even further. “He’s into threesomes?”
“If the gossips in this town cared about the perfect Ryan boy, you’d know that.”
“You make it sound like they’re all out to get you.”
I smirked.
“Okay,” she said quietly, glancing away. “Maybe they are a little bit. I could write a romance novel about the crap I’ve been told about you.”
I sighed. “And it’s only just scratched the surface.”
She looked down at her camera and flipped it over in her hands. “So tell me.”
A shudder ran through me. “I’m not proud of the things I’ve done.”
“Does that matter?”
“If I’m telling you, it does.”
“Why me?” She peered over at me. “I’m just a girl you knew once upon a time, Brett. It’s not like we’re friends anymore.”
“Aren’t we?” I scratched at my chin, a small smile on my mouth. “Because I don’t usually talk this much to people I’m not friends with.”
“Fine, we’re friends, but it doesn’t mean I like you.”
“You don’t have to like me to want me, kitten.”
“Just as well, since I don’t want you either.”
I reached over and pushed her hair back behind her ear. “Yeah, all right. Tell that to your pussy next time I kiss you.”
“There won’t be a next time.” She glared at me. “I’m not playing that game.”