Can't Hardly Breathe (The Original Heartbreakers #4)

Jessie Kay blinked at him as she buttered a piece of toast, her brow creased. The beautiful blue-eyed blonde had the sassiest mouth in the South—not counting Thea—and had once been touted as Strawberry Valley’s wildest wild child. “Who?”

“Dorothea. Formerly Dottie,” he said. “But do not, under any circumstances, call her Dottie. In fact, wipe the nickname from your mind. Call her Dorothea.” She hated her childhood nickname, so he would put an immediate end to its use.

“Why can’t I call her Thea? And why do you care what I call—”

“Because I do.” Thea was his nickname for her. His alone. “And because she’s...my friend.” Not that she would agree. Yet.

“Whoa.” Jessie Kay held out her hand, palm up. “Let’s backtrack a little. We’re talking about the freckled girl from the inn, yes?”

He gave a single, curt nod, not liking that she’d reduced Thea to “the freckled girl from the inn.”

As slow as molasses, she set her toast on a plate. “If you’re asking ’cause you’re planning on nailing her, I’m gonna knock your testicles into your throat. I like her, and I don’t want her hurt.”

“For your information, I like her, too.” He shook a blueberry muffin over her head, smiling as the crumbs settled in her hair. “Why would you want to hurt my testicles, anyway? You’d deprive everyone of my manly prowess.”

“Manly prowess?” She rolled her eyes. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you. You date and dump her, and you’ll devastate her. And since I’m the patron saint of mending broken hearts and breaking callous MARTS, I will—”

“Marts?” he interjected, even as he reeled. Other people had noticed the way Thea looked at him? The want and need hadn’t been wishful thinking on his part?

“It’s an acronym, and it stands for a Male who is an Asinine, Rotten, Two-timing piece of Shit.”

“In my case, I think you mean Male who is Adorable, Remarkable, Talented and probably a Superhero. Because I’ve never two-timed anyone, and never will.” To cheat, you had to lie. He refused to lie.

He remembered the one and only time he’d fibbed to his parents. Virgil had smacked his butt and said, “Don’t you piss on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’, boy. I’ll lose all respect for you, and you’ll prove you’ve never respected me.”

His mother had remained silent, peering at him with disappointment, cutting him to the quick.

“Hate to break it to you,” Jessie Kay said, “but you’re still asinine. You’ll hurt her, guaranteed, and I’ll be forced to mass produce bronzes of your penis with a designer line of dresses he can wear. And maybe hats. Everyone in Strawberry Valley—heck, the world—can have a Danny Jr. on their mantel.”

“I would never hurt her.” He snapped the words, defensive. “Not purposely. But I would like one of those bronzes.”

Wicked pleasure brightened Jessie Kay’s features as she leaned back in her chair. “Well, well, well. Daniel Porter is smitten, and not with an imaginary bronze. I might have to help you rather than hurt you.” Her Southern drawl thickened when she added, “Now, don’t you go gettin’ a big head about this, but Miss Dot—Dorothea has had a crush on you since our glory days in high school.”

Thea had wanted him for years? “How do you know this?” If curiosity hadn’t run the show, his eagerness would have embarrassed him. He might as well have been a sixteen-year-old girl with a crush and overactive ovaries.

Laughter rumbled from the merciless Jessie Kay. “Want to come to my slumber party tonight? We can stay up all night gabbing about boys and having pillow fights.”

He drew his cell from his pocket and spoke as he typed. “Dear West. Your woman needs a spanking. Take care of it.” Send.

Smug, she withdrew her cell. “Dear West. I do hope you’ll take Daniel’s advice and spank me. I look forward to having your palm print on my butt.”

Daniel snorted. Incorrigible girl. “Tell me about Thea. Please with a cherry on top.”

“Fine. The first day of my senior year, I said something hateful to her. And don’t you dare chastise me for it. I’ve chastised myself a million times. Harlow had just called me a slut, and I—Never mind. I digress. I planned to apologize to Dorothea at lunch, but she rushed into the band room. I didn’t want to interrupt whatever she was doing, so I waited for her. When she rushed out, she had tears in her eyes. I sneaked in to find out what had hurt her...and there you were, making out with Madison Clark.”

Seeing him with another girl had reduced her to tears? Poor, sweet Thea. “I barely remember Madison.”

But he clearly remembered the way Dorothea had once looked at him in the halls of Strawberry Valley High. Of course she’d crushed on him, he thought now; he’d just been too stupid, or too hormonal, to see it.

He’d been too young and inexperienced to appreciate her then.

He wasn’t too young or inexperienced now.

A wanton smile kicked up the corners of his mouth.

“Look at you,” Jessie Kay said and tsk-tsked. “You’re the cat who just caught the mouse. I never would have guessed plain, ordinary Dorothea Mathis—”

“Plain? Ordinary?” His voice increased an octave, drawing the notice of their waitress. She stepped toward them, but he waved her back. “Are you kidding me? Thea is gorgeous.” The sexiest woman on the freaking planet.

Jessie Kay gaped at him, as if he were insane. And yet, for the first time in years, he felt...almost at peace. His warrior instincts were fully engaged, the prize incomparable. Thea enraptured and amused him. She tantalized all five of his senses. She challenged him but also soothed him. Soon he would have her.

“What about your dad?” Jessie Kay asked, dead serious now. “He’ll have your wedding planned by the end of date one.”

“I’m going to see Thea in secret. Dad will never know.” If he and Thea ever decided to take the next step—

Whoa! What kind of thought was that? Next step? Him?

“Oh, Daniel.” She flattened a hand over her heart. “You are such an idiot. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.”

His cell phone rang, saving him from having to offer a reply. The name “Dr. Vandercamp” appeared on the screen. Daniel held up a finger, indicating a need for silence, and answered. “How is Princess?”

“The dog is doing well. She isn’t chipped, so I wasn’t able to find the owners. However, I’ve posted photos online. Miss Princess will be ready for pickup after three. At the clinic, not my house. And I told you I’d have no problem getting your number. I just left Style Me Tender. Your dad was there, and he looked pale.” Click.

Wow. What a conversationalist.

Jessie Kay fluttered her lashes at him. “High five to whoever put a burr under your saddle blanket.”

He forked a bite of her eggs, despite the food he hadn’t eaten on his own plate. “I’m taking off. Got to check on my dad.” He’d looked pale? Why?

“Fine. Abandon me. Tell Dorothea I said hi. Maybe give her a kiss for me.” She wiggled her brows. “Use tongue. I would.”

*