She pushes her finger into my chest and widens her dark brown eyes, giggles overflowing from her bubble gum pink lips, "Ha! Ha! I knew it was a guy. Come on Morgana; spill the syrup all over the table."
Oh Aria you and your expressions that no one on Earth would ever say. Not many people get her or understand the words that come out of her mouth, but it's Aria's odd sayings and ignorance with the laws of this country that make me love her even more.
"Okay, because you are my best friend. He is..."
I hear Honey Boo Boo child's narration from my ringtone which is radiating from my purse. Holding up my finger to Aria she sighs. I scramble up to the writing desk to dig through my bag and get the phone just in time.
"Hello?"
"Oh sweets! How is my favorite granddaughter?"
"I'm your only granddaughter, and I'm fine."
There is silence on the other line.
"Grandma you alright? Where are you? I can't hear you?"
"Sweets, I'm just crossing into Wyoming, heading to Yellowstone National Park. So I might cut out on you, not a lot of reception around here."
"Then why did you call?"
My grandma, I love her, but she picks the worst times to make phone calls. She’s usually traveling all over the country, so I rarely get to see her anymore. Ever since Grandpa died five years ago she has been restless. I worry about her all alone, but my parents bought her a big black and white dog named Orly before she left. The dog is for protection but I think he's more a companion to her now.
"I wanted to let you know Orly and I will be camping at Yellowstone, so you might not be able to contact me for a few days."
"Make sure you take Orly with you everywhere you go. That dog is crazy enough to scare off bears. I want to make sure you are safe."
"Oh sweets, you met someone haven't you?"
How does she know?
"What Grandma?"
"The last time you were worried about my safety you were dating that internet porn guy, Terance… Tony…"
"His name was Trevor, and he wasn't an internet porn guy. He filmed us...you know...doing stuff without me knowing about it."
"I hope you still don't worry about that. I saw it, what’s the big deal? You looked beautiful, but you always look gorgeous sweets."
I sigh. Can this conversation get any more uncomfortable? I never thought my grandma would be complimenting my beauty about a sex tape I was in.
"Changing subjects Grandma. I have met a guy, but we have only been communicating online for the past few weeks. He's in retail and I think he works a lot on the weekends as he hasn't had time to meet."
I look down at Aria who is still seated on the couch and now raising her arms in the air with disbelief.
"So, you tell your grandma but not me Morgana?"
"Oh sweets is that Aria? Perhaps you should tell me later about the guy, she might be jealous. You don't want to break her heart."
I roll my eyes which lets Aria know my Grandma is talking about her.
“Hello Mrs. Austin!” Aria yells toward the phone.
"Grandma neither Aria nor myself are lesbians. We are just friends.”
I turn my back to Aria to have a more private conversation with my Grandma.
"Sure, sure, sweets, whatever you call it nowadays. Well, I gotta go. I pulled off into a gas station. Give my love to your parents when you see them, and give your brother Daniel a big squeeze for me. Tell Aria I would never judge her. If she is your soul mate then it’s meant to be."
"Bye Grandma, love you."
"Love you too."
I hang up and place the phone back into my purse before turning to face Aria the Inquisitor. I sit on the couch to prepare for the assault.
"Seriously Morgana? I live with you and I don't know about this guy. Yet your grandma calls out of the blue and it's practically the first words out of your mouth."
"I love you Aria, but I’ve never done the online dating thing before. I wanted to make sure it was something before I told anyone. Besides I haven't met him or even seen his picture yet. He hasn't even told me his first name. Perhaps we meet and there is no chemistry, then what? I haven't dated in over five years, so I know everyone, including you, is going to make a big deal out of this. I guess I just don't want to disappoint you, or anyone else, if it doesn't work out."
Aria is pouting now and I see a tear escape. Her emotions, much like her personality, is flighty, one second angry the next sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh Morgana! I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel like you have to make me happy. Here, you just tell me anything you want me to know and I won't ask any more questions, okay?"
I nod.
"I met him through an online dating service Evaleen told me about. He was the only one who understood my love of cake and comedy movies. That's actually why I picked him, because of his screen name Hi-Ed-Junior."
She is wrinkling her brow at me.
"I don't get it?"
"Raising Arizona! Hi, Nicholas Cage's character. Ed, Holly Hunter's character, and Junior, the baby they kidnap."