“Why?” he asked.
“Because it was best for Emperion. We needed Fren’s army to stop Russek.” Otherwise, she wouldn’t have entertained the idea. She was young and in no rush to marry.
“What do you plan to do now that the marriage treaty is no longer good?” He started pacing.
“Now who’s wearing a hole in the floor?” she teased him.
“Just answer the question.”
“Odar and I are still officially engaged.” She pulled her legs up on the chair, wrapping her arms around her knees. She then proceeded to explain how Odar had signed the contract as himself, and they were still under contractual obligation to marry once his parents consented.
He smiled. “The prince is smarter than I realized.” His pacing slowed. “Do you want to marry him? Now that you know his true identity?”
“Yes.” She couldn’t envision being married to anyone else.
“Because you love him?” he asked. “Or because that’s what your kingdom needs?” He emphasized the word needs as he did before when talking about his own kingdom.
“Both.”
“Which comes first? You or your kingdom?” He kept walking back and forth across the room. He was making her dizzy. Did he always do this when he was working through something?
She examined her now-bruising knuckles, unsure of how to respond to his question. He knew she’d been interrogated. That she would always put Emperion first. “I think you already know the answer.” She didn’t understand why he was even asking.
“And what about Odar? Does he love you?” She nodded. “And does he put his kingdom before you?” Kerdan went over to the hearth, bending down and throwing another log into the dying fire.
“Odar’s first loyalty is to his kingdom.” At least, she was fairly certain it was. Although…he wouldn’t marry Princess Jestina of Telmena. To prevent their kingdoms from going to war, he sent his brother to marry her. He hadn’t planned to marry Allyssa until he actually got to know her and changed his mind. That deception still hurt. Odar had also promised to get her out of here no matter the cost. So, did he plan to put Fren first or not? She honestly couldn’t say.
Kerdan remained crouched before the hearth, his back to her. “So, if the plan works, and the two of you make it out of here alive, you’ll marry and unite your kingdoms?”
“Yes. Is that what this is about?” she asked. “Are you worried we’ll have too much power?” That they could stand against Russek?
“No.” He stood, his back still to her. “It’s just…the two of you are in a unique position to marry for love.”
She had studied enough about the kingdoms on the mainland to know this. “What about you?” she asked. He was a few years older than her and should be betrothed by now.
“My mother’s death taught me to hide my emotions and to keep my heart closed to others.” He came and sat on the couch across from her. “I will not marry for love, but for political alliance. There are many powerful families in Russek. I will do what is best for my kingdom.”
“Keeping your heart closed off from love doesn’t make you strong.” What did Kerdan live and fight for? Even when she planned to marry a man she didn’t love, she intended to open her heart to him with the hope they would eventually find love.
“It makes me stronger,” he replied. “Everything I do is for Russek. It is my kingdom that I love. We have to stop this war and save our people from unnecessary slaughter.”
“Agreed.” If he loved Russek as much as he claimed, then they should be able to ensure this war ended, regardless of the king. When she looked over at the prince, there was a sadness she either hadn’t seen or hadn’t noticed before. The life he led was hard and bleak. Her heart ached for him, his loneliness, and the difficult positon he was in.
“What would you do if another alliance presented itself? A stronger and more advantageous one? Would you still marry Odar now that you no longer need to join your two kingdoms together?”
She stood and stretched, considering what he said. “I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. Until the threat of war is gone and I’m safely back in my kingdom, Fren and Emperion need one another.”
He waved his hand, dismissing what she said. “I was speaking hypothetically.”
“I don’t know.” She hadn’t considered the possibility. It didn’t matter—hypothetically or not. She had signed the marriage treaty. The only way it could be broken was if they agreed to destroy the contract. Had that ever been done before? Regardless, she loved Odar and was happy to marry him. “What I do know is that we shouldn’t be wasting our time discussing hypothetical scenarios. We need to practice so when I face your assassin stepbrother, I survive.”
“You’re right. However, I need to go speak with my father and arrange a meeting for tomorrow evening that will last long into the night. I must have several people there who will be able to attest to me being present while you’re killing the rest of the royal family and saving Russek for me.” He tossed his fur cape over his shoulders and latched the clasp around his neck. “Bolt the door shut after I leave so Soma can’t pick the lock. I’ll knock three times when I return and say my horse’s name, Jomk.”
His horse’s name was Jomk? “What kind of name is that?”
“It’s an ancient word for mighty one. A perfectly suitable name for a warhorse.” She laughed, and he shook his head. “I suggest you try and stay up as late as possible so you can sleep during the day. Once you’ve assassinated everyone tomorrow night, you and Odar will leave immediately for Fren. I’ll have supplies stashed for the two of you, but the journey will be long and treacherous on foot.”
She wanted to look over the map once again to make sure she knew her way out of this blasted castle. She rubbed her temple.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“I’m trying not to think about killing Jana and her family.”
“Killing is never easy.” He set his hand upon her shoulder. “I wouldn’t ignore what you’re feeling. Mentally prepare for what you’re about to do by facing the demons now so when you’re killing the royal family, you don’t hesitate.”
“I keep reminding myself that, by doing this, I will save thousands of lives.”
“That’s right. Russek will be indebted to you.” He squeezed her shoulder and left.
She closed the door and slid the bolts into place, locking it. Kerdan wore so many masks, each one revealing a piece of who he was, but not a single one encompassed all of him.