By Your Side

When the bell rang and everyone had cleaned up their stuff, Dallin lingered behind until we were the only two left. “It’s only fair, Autumn,” he said. “Since you’ve already seen him a lot.”


“I agree. Good job,” I said. It was obvious he wanted me to get mad at him, but I was determined to mend our friendship.

Just because I couldn’t see Jeff, didn’t mean I wasn’t going to get a report. I needed that for my mental health. So the next morning, I found Connor before first period. He was at his locker, shoving more papers into an already paper-filled mess. “How was he?”

“What? Who?”

“Jeff. You saw him yesterday, right? How was Jeff?”

“Oh. Hi, Autumn. Nice to see you this morning too.”

I smiled. “Hi, Connor. How has your morning been so far?”

“It was good. I overslept, I—”

I smacked his arm. “Connor. Come on.”

He laughed. “He was fine. Really tired, but he looked good. The doctor said he should be more and more alert every day.”

“That’s good. So good.” Six more days until I could see him for myself. I could handle six more days.

I held my camera up to my eye and twisted the outside ring back and forth, making Owen go from blurry to clear over and over again.

“You’re not taking my picture, are you?” he asked from his spot on the couch next to me.

“Don’t worry, diva. I know you like to do your hair first.”

He pointed the remote at the television and clicked it off. “Actually, not for your pictures. You have a way of capturing things that looks good every time.”

I was caught off guard by the compliment. “Thanks.”

“I’m serious. Is that what you’re thinking for college? Photography?”

“No. Not at all. It’s too . . .”

“Risky?”

“Yes.”

“And what’s wrong with risk? What’s wrong with going after the uncertain choice? The one you haven’t planned to a T.”

“You know what’s wrong with that. It would stress me out too much. I need security.”

He reached out for my camera and I handed it to him. He put it up to his eye and took a picture, then looked at the result on the screen with a sour face. “All I’m saying is you have talent.”

“You’re my favorite brother.”

“Always.”

I collected my camera back from him.

“I thought you’d be at the hospital today,” he said.

I groaned, trying not to think about it. “Today is Avi’s day.”





CHAPTER 33


“Jeff talked to you?” I asked, still not believing it. Why wasn’t Avi jumping up and down like I wanted to? Why hadn’t she called us all last night? “This is amazing news!” Relief poured through me.

Avi opened her bag of chips, then shrugged. “Has he not done that before?”

The four of us—Lisa, Morgan, Avi, and I—were sitting together in the cafeteria. The boys were at some baseball lunch meeting. I had stopped eating the moment she shared the news.

“What did he say?”

“Not much. Just hi and asked how long he’d been there.”

I tried to control the tiny bit of jealousy that Jeff had talked to Avi first, that I had missed it, and focus on the huge amount of joy that he had talked at all. “Did you tell his mom?”

“Was I supposed to?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m sure she knows. Whose turn is it today?” Instead of waiting for an answer, I pulled out my phone and referred to Dallin’s text.

“Zach’s,” Morgan said at the same time I read it.

“You think Zach will switch with me?” I asked.

“Probably not,” Avi said.

I groaned. Why had I turned over the scheduling power to Dallin in the hospital? I was trying to be nice, but it hadn’t made a difference.

Lisa squeezed my arm. “Do you want me to talk to Dallin?” All my friends thought Dallin was being unreasonable too.

“No.” Because if I were being honest, there was still a bit of fear in me that Jeff really didn’t care about seeing me. We weren’t together, we never had been. What made me think I was so special?

I had passed Dax in the hall after lunch and slipped him a note. A note that had told him to meet me between sixth and seventh period where I now stood—behind the cafeteria. I hadn’t anticipated the Dumpsters and the stench they’d be emitting.

Dax rounded the corner, his stride slow and confident. He looked at the trash when he got to me and raised his eyebrows.

“I was hoping you could help me find my retainer. I think it got thrown away.”

The pleasant look dropped off his face. “Really?”

I laughed. “No.”

He smiled.

I grabbed onto the lapels of his jacket and pulled him a little closer to me.

“Hi,” he said in a low voice.

“Hi,” I sighed.

“Do you even wear a retainer?” he asked.

I flashed a wider smile. “Only at night. What about you? Did you ever have braces?”

“That wasn’t exactly top priority for any of my foster parents.”

“Well, then you got lucky, because you have very pretty teeth.”