By Your Side

“It’s his foster dad.” Or group home dad, I wasn’t sure what his official title was, but it was the man who had answered the door and gotten Dax for me when I went to his house the other day. He was talking to the cashier, then handing over his credit card.

I sat there, on edge, my shake clutched in my hands, waiting for Dax to turn and look. I could wave. He could wave back. That would show me he wasn’t trying to brush me off like it seemed he was the other day on his porch.

He finally turned, but his eyes just scanned the room, only pausing on me for a second before they moved on. Total brush-off. I sat back in my seat. No wonder he had no friends.





CHAPTER 25


“We’re not supposed to dress like the undead for this party, are we?” Morgan asked, holding up several shirts as she looked in the mirror. It was Saturday. Lisa, Avi, and I had arrived at Morgan’s house an hour before and were well into getting ready.

“I hope not,” I said.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if Dallin and Zach and the guys did,” Lisa said.

“You’re right. They so will.”

I sat on the floor in front of the full-length mirror, applying mascara. It was weird to think that the Saturday before I’d been in the library. It felt like a lifetime ago. I almost wished I were there right now instead of on my way to a party. My head was still throbbing from the basketball game and the hospital the night before.

“So I call dibs on Wyatt and Sawyer tonight,” Morgan said.

“You can’t call dibs on two people,” Avi said.

“I just did.”

Lisa laughed. “That’s fine with me. There will be plenty of others for us.”

Morgan gave me a sad face.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m sorry Jeff won’t be there for you.”

Jeff. Why were we having a party again? It felt so wrong. “He’ll be better soon enough. Then Dallin will throw another party, I’m sure.”

“So you like him, then?” Avi asked.

It took me a second to remember that they didn’t know this. I’d only told Lisa. This was a conversation I had meant to have up at the cabin—me “calling dibs” on Jeff. “I . . . yes. I do.”

“I thought so. Do you think he likes you back?”

I thought about his mom calling me his girlfriend, letting me into his hospital room and not Lisa. I screwed the lid back onto my mascara and said, “I think so.”

She smiled. “I’m glad for you. And him.”

She squeezed my shoulder and I hoped that meant we were fine, that she was okay with Jeff and me in the future.

“Is everyone ready?” Morgan asked, pulling her final shirt selection over her head.

“As I’ll ever be,” I mumbled.

So far I had managed to maintain my calm. Even in Dallin’s packed house. Beyond packed. There were so many people there that I guessed a lot of them weren’t even from our school. I had apologized five point three times to Dallin’s parents, who had now shut themselves in their bedroom to get away from the noise. I wished there was a bedroom for me to shut myself in.

Instead, I stood in the corner of the basement, a Dr Pepper in my hand, watching Lisa and Morgan talk to Wyatt and Sawyer by the pool table. This was my kind of fun—observing the party from the sidelines. I wished I had brought my camera.

Avi sidled up beside me. “You look bored,” she said.

“No, I’m good. Just taking a breather.”

“You should get out there and dance or something.”

“I think I’m good right here,” I said with a smirk.

“I’m bored too,” she admitted. “Do you know who always made parties more fun?”

“Yes.”

“Jeff,” she answered anyway.

I laughed. “He did.”

“Do you know what he did at the bonfire on the way up to the cabin?”

The bonfire that I missed because I was stuck in the library. “What?”

“He climbed a tree, in the dark, and scared us all.”

“I thought you were in his car. Didn’t you see him climb it?”

“No, we were trying to find dry wood to start a fire. And then when everyone got there, Jeff started making strange noises. We thought it was a bear or something. I think even Dallin was scared for a while.”

I took a sip of my Dr Pepper. “I thought it started snowing right when you got there.”

She pursed her lips to the side in thought. “It was probably like twenty minutes after we got there.”

“Oh.” I wouldn’t let that hurt my feelings. With Jeff scaring people and the snow, it was understandable why they might not have noticed I wasn’t there. “I didn’t hear the rest of this story. What happened after that? After you left?”

“Well, Lisa said you probably went down with Jeff so we should go on without you. I wasn’t sure why you would, but I kind of guessed, you know?”

I nodded.

“And then we drove up to the cabin. At like two o’clock in the morning your parents called Lisa asking if you were there. I guess that was right after the police found your stuff in Jeff’s car. They were destroyed.”

I looked at my feet. I didn’t really need to imagine that part again.

“The roads were too icy to drive that night, but we left as soon as we could the next morning and spent the next two days searching the river for you.” She grabbed my hand. “It was awful, Autumn.”