“What traits are those?”
“Selfish, private, apathetic.” He had a small smile on his face so I knew he was at least a little bit kidding.
“I think you mean confident, independent, highly motivated.”
“You read a lot of psychology books?”
With my condition, I had, actually. “Yes, and my friend Lisa is an only child.” She liked to brag about how it gave her the advantage in almost every aspect in life. Except humility, I always pointed out. “Do you know Lisa?”
“Is she Indian?”
“No, that’s Avi. Lisa is short, has brown hair.”
He shrugged. “Maybe if I saw her.”
He didn’t know Lisa, but he knew me? I always thought more people knew Lisa.
My eyes shifted from watching the unmoving sticky hands to the scene outside. The snow was higher than I’d seen it in a while. “Do you think that maybe cell phone reception is being affected by the weather?”
“Over a little snow? I doubt it. Why?”
“It’s just, I understand why maybe my friends figured I went home and aren’t worried. But I haven’t called my parents in thirty-six hours now. I’m surprised they haven’t been scouring the city for me. They would’ve called Lisa up at the cabin by now. That’s where they thought I was. Lisa would’ve told them I wasn’t there and someone would figure out I was here. I don’t get it.”
“Up at the cabin? Like in the mountains?”
“Yes.”
“There’s probably more snow up there.”
“So maybe reception is worse up there?”
“It’s possible. If a tower went down or something.”
“If they haven’t been able to get ahold of anyone, they’d just assume we were all snowed in, right? It’s actually happened before—the getting snowed in part.”
“There you go. Mystery solved.”
“Yeah . . . I guess.”
“Do you have another theory?”
“No.” He was right. They were snowed in. My parents assumed I was too. Jeff hadn’t opened his trunk all weekend to see my bag. It was the only thing that made sense. Lisa was probably sitting up at the cabin with Avi and Morgan, angry that I had bailed on them. We’d all laugh about this when they found out the truth. That I had spent the weekend in a big creepy library. It really was a new adventure for me.
“Where else have you spent the night?” I asked.
Dax was quiet, and I suddenly realized how that sounded without the benefit of my thought process. “I mean, when you don’t stay at home and it’s snowing out,” I corrected.
“This isn’t a weekly event or anything.”
“I know, but I can tell it’s not an uncommon occurrence either.”
When his silence stretched on I said, “You’re right, you better not tell me or I might show up at your next stop.”
That comment won me a small smile.
“There’s some churches that are left unlocked sometimes. And I’ve stayed at the school before.”
“Our school? Really?”
Dax shifted next to me, and his shoulder brushed against mine and then stayed there. I didn’t move away.
“Yes,” he said.
“Don’t you ever get scared?”
“No.”
“Are you scared of anything? What’s the first thought that comes to your mind when I say worst fear?”
He seemed to think about it.
“I said first thought. No thinking, just spit it out.”
“Commitment.”
“Like to a girl?”
“To whatever. A girl, a cat, a class. What about you?” he asked before I could make him explain more.
“Having no control.”
“Over what?”
“Boys, cats, classes.”
He smiled.
“I don’t know, anything, I guess. Whether a teacher calls on me in class or not. Whether my mom can keep her job. It’s irrational, because I have no control over it. But that’s the point, I guess. I wish I did.”
My butt was numb from the cold, but I sat still, staring at the sticky hands on the glass, willing his to stay for just a few more minutes so this game would last longer. What was wrong with me? Thirty-six hours and suddenly I was craving human contact from anyone, apparently. I leaned on my right hand, breaking our connection. I could see my own breath, white puffs of air, in front of me.
Another section of Dax’s sticky hand detached itself from the glass.
“Looks like mine is about to fall,” he said, standing up.
“I want to win fair and square.”
He backed up. “You will.”
“Where are you going?” I asked as he walked away.
“Let me know who wins. I’m cold.”
“You can’t just leave. What if mine falls?”
“You seem like the type who would let me know that.”
“I could lie.”
He gave a small laugh as he continued to walk away. “No, actually, you can’t.”
“Just because you’re freakishly good at reading facial expressions doesn’t mean I can’t lie,” I mumbled, but he was already gone and I wasn’t sure if he heard me. I wasn’t sure why I was trying to claim I was an expert liar or why he made me think that should be one of my goals. It wasn’t.
CHAPTER 14