Burn Before Reading

“What are you doing here?” I asked. “How did you know where I –“

“Your essay comes with an address,” He drawled. His green eyes moved from me to the window I’d been looking at. “What are you doing out here? In pajamas?”

I looked down at my legs. I’d come out wearing only pj pants and a big shirt. No wonder it felt so cold.

“I’m –” I swallowed my words. How could I explain? Did I even want to? He’d never understand, and he’d probably just ridicule me again. I stared up at the window, fighting back hot tears. I couldn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t rely on anyone – not Mom, not Dad, not Wolf. Not even myself. I felt so helpless and small and ashamed. I wiped at my eyes and lifted my chin. “I’m fine. I just – just lost something out here, is all. Why did Your Highness drive all the way out here? Did you need something from moi?”

Wolf narrowed his eyes. “You’re an awful liar.”

“Well I’m an awful liar who wants to be left alone, thank you very much,” I snapped. “So if you could just leave the way you came on that noise machine, that’d be great.”

He was quiet, staring at me. I felt the anxiety build in the pit of my stomach with every second. I was in pajama pants, my hair a mess. I hadn’t showered for two days. I looked like garbage, and he looked perfectly fine – more than fine, handsome and put-together as hell. It made me even more irrationally angry – at me, at him, at the whole world.

"I have things to do," I said. "So if you could just leave -"

"Is it your Dad?" He asked, clipped. For a second I was baffled he knew, but then I remembered just how uncanny his understanding of me was.

"Yeah," I scoffed. "It's my Dad."

Wolf stepped to my side, staring up at the window with me. "Is he up there?"

"Yeah. And I’m going to deal with it. On my own." Wolf fixed his gaze on me. "That means without you present," I motioned to his motorcycle.

He didn't seem to hear me, making for the stairs up to the front door swiftly, his long legs much faster than mine.

"Hey!" I shouted. "Hey, hey, HEY! Where do you think you're going?"

Wolf looked so out of place walking down the hall of my house, his fancy leather jacket probably more expensive than our dinky TV. Every time I saw him inside a room I got surprised at how tall he was - it was easy to forget when he was outside and not surrounded by shelves and things I could barely reach. I frantically ran after him, until he came to a stop in front of Dad's door.

"This is it, right?" he asked.

"Seriously, Wolf," I hissed. "This isn't - you can't be in here! I can take care of this myself, okay? I don't need you -"

Wolf knocked on the door curtly. For a split-second I prayed, but there was no response.

"How long has it been?" Wolf asked, glaring at the door with such fire I was pretty sure he was trying to burn it down with his mind.

"This isn't your problem! Leave. Now."

"How long?" He repeated. "One day? Two?"

"Four," I groaned. "Now just please, leave -"

He cleared his throat, announcing loudly;

"Mr. Cruz, I'm taking your daughter out for a date."

Every hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. No, no no no! He can't just say that! To Dad of all people! I never go out - I've never dated, Dad never failed to always sternly warn me about the dangers of boys when I used to talk about the band members I was crushing on - we're not actually going on a date, are we? Oh god, we're not actually - with Wolf? No no no, that's impossible, this is stupid -

The door creaked open. My heart soared as Dad stood in view, his face so much thinner than I remembered. His beard was tangled, his lips chapped, but his eyes were alive - dancing with curiosity and suspicion as he looked Wolf up and down.

"Who are you?" He croaked.

Wolf extended his hand, his voice cool, almost calm for once.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cruz. I'm Wolf Blackthorn. I'm a junior at Lakecrest. Your daughter and I are in the same Auto Shop class."

Dad's eyes bounced to me, and I instantly burst.

"Dad, you have to eat something. I made soup -"

I knew the darkness that clouded his gaze at the words from my mouth - shame. He saw me and instantly recoiled back into the room, but Wolf wedged his boot in the door swiftly.

"Mr. Cruz," He said quickly. "As I said, I'm taking your daughter out for a date. We won't be back until midnight."

Dad's face scrunched up, his spine straightened. He stood tall and proud all of a sudden.

"No. No, Bee's not going out at all with you."

"She is," Wolf insisted.

There was a tense silence in the room before Dad glowered.

"You'll be back before seven, or there will be consequences. I'll be here, waiting up all night if I have to."

"Outside of your room, I presume?" Wolf quirked a brow. Dad's glower intensified, then went slack all at once. Something changed in him - some realization he had. A sense of time blurred for some people with depression. Dad might've lost track - and was just now understanding how long it'd been for everyone but him.

"Yes. Out of the room." His eyes ventured to me, this time staying on my face. "Be careful, Bee. Please."

My chest felt so much lighter - he was fine. All the worry I'd cupped like liquid lead just...fell away. He was going to come out of his room. And Wolf had - Wolf had been the one to do it. Not me. Tragically, horribly, not me. Not once was anything I did effective. Wolf's little lie had done what I couldn't.

"There's soup, Dad, and bread." I insisted. "Promise me you'll have some while I'm gone."

"I will. If you promise to be careful."

I nodded, smiling. "I promise."

I felt a tug on my hand - Wolf's leather gloves against my palm as I let him pull me out of the door. I was too shocked, too relieved to do much else than follow him downstairs. I was halfway across the lawn before I stopped.

"Wait - " My head snapped up. "We're not really going on a date."

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