Burn Before Reading

"Steroids?" I whispered. Fitz looked at me like I was a tiny child learning what colors were for the first time.

"Duh. Why do you think Wolf gave him a red card? Wolf wants him to stop. The kid's on his swim-team. Steroids can destroy your body. Wolf knows that. That freshman doesn't. He keeps popping them in the hopes he can impress his jockhead dad, or some nonsense."

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. "That's why Wolf harassed him?"

Fitz laughed again. "That's how it works. Do something stupid and slash or illegal in this school, and Wolf threatens you to stop. And if you don't, you're gone. Simple as that."

"And Eric? What did he do?"

"Got caught trying to put date-rape drugs in a girl's drink at a house party a month ago."

"Wait, how does Wolf know that?"

"Everyone knows it," Fitz yawned. "Wolf just takes the time to make sure it's true. Asks around, does his research. And when he has evidence, when he's sure, he issues a red-card. That's what it means. 'We have dirt on you that could ruin your life here at Lakecrest, so you better stop'."

I suddenly felt sick. Eric, the guy I defended first, the timid, scared guy. He'd tried to date-rape drug someone's drink? And I stood up for him?

My legs felt wobbly, so I scrabbled for a nearby bench and put my head in my hands. I heard Fitz sit with me. My head shot up and I glared at him.

"You aren't just shitting me, right? To make Wolf look good or something? This is all actually true?"

Fitz put a Boy Scout sign up. "On what's left of my sullied honor, scholarshipper, it's true. If you don't believe me, you can ask anyone in this school."

"No one in this school talks to me. Except you. And Burn. Wolf shoots me a nastier-than-the-back-of-the-toilet-glare sometimes, and that's exciting."

"Yeah, he does that."

"So Mark Gerund," I swallowed. "Was he a similar case?"

Fitz shrugged. "No. That was more...personal. For Wolf, anyway."

"But Wolf drove him out. He had your Dad kick him out -"

"Oh, no," Fitz laughed. "Trust me, Mark left on his own. It's just the fact he got into a fight with Wolf the day before he dropped out that makes people think that Wolf had something to do with it."

"Then why - why is Wolf trying to kick me out, now?"

Fitz's green eyes twinkled with something like amusement. "Probably for the same reasons he fought Mark, I'd imagine."

"What? That doesn't make any sense -"

"Listen," Fitz leaned in. "You're sucking at history all of a sudden. That's what I wanted to ask about. You're supposed to be smart - the smartest one in this hellhole beside me. What gives?"

"I -" Amid all the revelations Fitz was dropping on me about Wolf and his red-cards, I struggled to remember what I was really doing this all for. Fitz had to be one of the easier brothers to get to know. I had to get on his good side. "Things aren't great at home," I said, not fully lying, really. "And it sucks, and I can't concentrate lately and I'm starting to fall behind in class, and I don't have notes -"

I trailed off. "Nevermind. It's stupid to complain about this stuff."

Fitz's face lightened. "It's not stupid. It just means you suck. More than usual.”

I frowned at him, and he laughed.

"For now," He clarified. "You're going through a bit of a suckage period. Never fear. Us smarter beings can help with that."

"Like I'd want your help," I snapped, now definitely irritated with him.

"Seriously," He insisted. "If you need help catching up, I can do that.”

"Why help me? I've done nothing but get mad at you, and yell at Wolf -" The memory of defending Eric came crashing in on me and I groaned. "God. Why didn't anyone stop me?"

"Wolf tried to," Fitz pressed. "With that red-card. But you ignored that, of course. You're good at that whole ignorance is bliss thing, huh?"

"Screw you, too."

Fitz breezed past the insult, flipping aside a lock of his blonde hair like he was on the Hollywood red carpet. "I can tutor you. Contrary to popular belief, I'm actually pretty good at the whole school thing. When I want to be. When it doesn’t put me to sleep forever."

"And what do you get out of it?" I ask. "I can't give you money, or -"

"Apologize," He said quickly.

"What?"

"Go apologize to Wolf. Right now. He's at swim practice, in the pool building."

"I've got nothing to apologize for!" I protested. "He's the one who dumps coffee on people, he's the one who threatened to take my scholarship away -"

He sighs. "Fine. You're right. His methods are extreme. But he's always got a reason for them. Dumping coffee on someone isn't nearly as damaging as the shit that freshman is doing to the inside of his body with the steroids, or what Eric tried to do to that girl."

"And getting me kicked from the school?" I asked. "How do you justify that?"

Fitz is silent for once, no quip on his lips. "You'll have to ask him yourself. Like, right now. He's just a few minutes away."

"You're sure," I pressed. "You’re absolutely sure he has a good reason for doing it? That's stupid. That's blind faith. He's doing it because he hates me."

"Then prove me wrong. Go ask him."

"Fine!" I threw my hands up. "I will."

Fed up with him, I storm across campus to the pool building. Fitz doesn't follow. The smell of chlorine and the sound of splashing water and shouting guys greets my ears. The moment I step into view of the pool I realize how bad of a mistake this is. Fitz goaded me into this - if I don't play this right, Wolf will be even harder to get on my side, if that's even possible.

The swim team does laps back and forth, a burly woman with thick arms and a loud voice bellowing at them to move faster as she prowled the edge of the pool with a stopwatch.

"You think that will get you into states, Bergman?" She shouted. "Let me see that arm movement, big circles. Is that your idea of big? Get moving!"

I shrunk into the tiled wall, hoping she wouldn't see me. I was just about to bolt for the door when her voice called out.

Sara Wolf's books