“Why would she think that?” Chloe asked in a hushed voice.
“Because I was a wreck when we got back together. I was so done with LA and everything it encompassed. She assumed that meant I was done. I honestly don’t think we would have ever gotten back together had she thought differently. In the beginning, anyway,” Reid added, thinking about their time in New York and the promises he made. Promises he was wrong to make.
“So you guys were on the wrong page. It happens. That doesn’t mean you had to end it,” Chloe said with a shrug, her eyes downcast.
“That wasn’t the main reason, Chloe.”
“Do you love her?”
“What?”
“Chloe. Do you love her?”
“Jess, don’t do this.”
“Do you think I’m blind? I saw your notebook. I saw the things you wrote about her. I see the way you look at her. It’s written all over your face.”
“What else is there?”
Reid swallowed and sucked in a sharp breath. “Not what. Who.”
Chloe shook her head as she wound her trembling hands. “Don’t make me ask.”
“You,” he answered simply. “She saw the way I look at you, and she knew.”
“What did she see?” Chloe choked, her voice breaking and her eyes shimmering with tears.
“Jess . . .”
“Are you going to deny it?”
“No.”
“How could you do this?”
“I tried to fight it, Jess. The last thing in the world I wanted was to hurt you, but I couldn’t stop it. I just couldn’t.”
“That I’m in love with you.”
Silence swelled around them. Chloe clutched the pillow to her chest, her gaze burning into Reid with an intensity he’d never experienced. “I don’t understand,” she finally said.
Reid smiled and nodded. “I know exactly how you feel. I thought I had it all figured out. Jess and I were together for years and I ruined us. When my life went to shit years later and she took me back, I thought everything was finally like it was supposed to be. Then I met you.” He dropped his head and chuckled. “You fucked everything up.”
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said, soft and sad. The tone of her voice caused Reid’s head to snap in her direction and his jaw to clench. Before he could give it a second thought, he was on his knees, her hands clasped in his.
“Don’t you dare be sorry. You fucking up the future I had planned was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Don’t you see, Chloe?” he implored. “You and me, we’re supposed to happen. You’re the one I’ve been waiting for and I didn’t even know it. We can be something special; you just need to believe it as much as I do.”
Chloe shook her head. “How can you say that? For months, you’ve talked about Jess and what she means to you. You were with her in Memphis, and until this morning, she was with you in LA. How can you say you’re in love with me and your sheets haven’t even cooled?”
“I haven’t been with Jess in that way,” Reid admitted. “Not since Paris. I felt wrong just holding her hand. I should have known then, but it’s a hard thing to accept, ya know? Realizing I was wrong about everything. We slept in the same bed, but we might as well have been on separate continents.” Raising up on his knees, Reid cupped her jaw. “She was my connection to the man I used to be, who I thought I should be.
“That’s why I couldn’t tell her about my relapse. She might have said all the right things, but when it came down to it, she expected me to be the guy I was before. The one who wouldn’t dare do something so stupid. Her belief that I was moving back to Memphis is proof of that. I was scared to show her who I am now—this messed-up guy who just can’t seem to get his shit together. But, you? I wasn’t scared to show you my weaknesses. I wasn’t scared to let you see my flaws. I wanted you to see them, because I knew even if you were mad, you wouldn’t think less of me. That you would still look at me just like you are now.”
Chloe sniffled as Reid used his thumb to brush away the tears sliding down her cheeks. “And how am I looking at you now?”
Reid smiled and chuckled softly. “Like you love me too.”
Chloe sucked in a choked breath and her eyes fell shut. “For months, I’ve fought my feelings for you. I have berated myself, felt guilty, questioned my morals for wanting a guy who belonged to someone else. Now I’m suddenly allowed to love you and not feel guilty. I don’t know how to explain how mixed up that makes me feel. But you are right. I do love you.”
Reid’s heart pounded and his eyes closed as he pressed his forehead to Chloe’s. They stayed in that position with their heads bowed while they regained control of their erratic breathing. A shiver ran down Reid’s spine when Chloe brushed a hand through his hair. Reluctantly, he lifted his head to meet her gaze.