The kiss starts out slow and then deepens. His tongue swipes against mine and he makes this rumbling sound in his chest that makes me clench around his fingers.
He slides his fingers out and rids himself of his jeans and boxers.
When he slides into me I have a brief moment of panic that he forgot a condom, and then I realize that’s the whole point. Trying to have a baby equals no condom.
He holds my hips up at an angle that allows him in deeper. I moan so loud that the whole neighborhood probably hears me.
“Yes, right there,” I plead, my fingers sliding weakly down his abs.
He leans forward and kisses me. “So good,” he murmurs.
“Oh God,” I moan. I feel like a firework about to go off. “Almost there.”
When I come, my nails dig into his back, like I’m trying to hold onto him to keep from floating away.
He presses his lips to my neck. “Beautiful,” he whispers so low that I wonder if I imagined him saying the word.
He cups my breast and rolls his thumb over my nipple. I can already feel myself building back up when he pulls out. I’m pretty sure I whimper like a kicked puppy.
But then he flips me over and slides in from behind.
“Yes,” I pant, “fuck yes.”
He rumbles at the word fuck.
“I-I’m gonna come again,” I breathe out each word.
When I do, Ben comes only a moment later and we both collapse onto the pillows. He pulls my spent body on top of his, and I drape my limbs across him, my eyes growing heavy. That was amazing, albeit exhausting.
I feel his fingers skim over my arm. “Do you think we made a baby?” he asks softly.
I force my tired eyes open and peek up at him. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll know soon.”
He nods. “I hope we did.” He kisses me quickly.
I nod and snuggle closer to him. “Me too.”
I’m late. Only by a few days, but my period is never late.
Ben is sitting on the bed when I walk into the room with the plastic-wrapped box. When I told him my period was late this morning he nearly jumped out of his skin for me to take a test. I’d been putting it off, waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop—in this case, for my period to start. I didn’t feel pregnant, but then again maybe you didn’t feel any certain way this soon. It wasn’t like I’d ever been pregnant before and none of my friends were having babies.
“Hurry up,” he says, bouncing on the bed like an excited kid.
“I just got here,” I remind him, walking into the bathroom. He follows me and I mock-glare at him. “Back to the room with you, buddy. You’re not watching me pee.”
He pouts. “Please, this is a monumental moment in our lives.”
“Out.” I point back at the bedroom. “We won’t see any results for a few minutes so there’s no reason for you to be in here.”
He sighs and leaves me alone.
“You know,” he says through the door, “if you’re pregnant, that would be the best Christmas present ever.”
“Christmas is over,” I remind him.
“Not by much,” he argues, “it can count.”
I shake my head and ignore him as I shimmy out of my jeans and open the box.
My heart is racing a mile a minute. I’ve never been so excited and nervous at the same time. I feel jittery and my stomach is rolling. I unbox the magical little stick and pee. I might cry, “Hallelujah,” while I’m peeing because I’ve been holding it for so long. When I hear Ben laugh from the bedroom I know for sure I said that out loud.
I finish up and put the cap on the end. I wash my hands and Ben knocks on the door. “Come on, Blaire. Let me in.”
I unlock the door and open it, so Ben practically falls inside. I shake my head at him. “What does it say?” he asks.
“I don’t know.” I hop up on the counter and he stands in front of me. “It takes a few minutes.” I purposely covered the screen on it with the directions so neither of us can peek.
Ben places his hands on either side of my thighs and leans forward, nuzzling his head into my neck. His stubble scrapes my skin, but I don’t mind. He presses a kiss to my neck and pulls away. “But you’ve never been late before, right?”
“No—” I shake my head “—I haven’t. But it doesn’t mean this isn’t a fluke.”
“Do you think that night…in the family room on the pillows?” he asks, putting his hand on my stomach like he truly believes a baby is hiding in there.
“I don’t know, maybe.” I nervously bite my lip.
I know there’s no way it happened that night, but there’s no point in trying to explain my period to Ben. He might practically be a doctor but he’s still a guy and there’s no point wasting my breath trying to explain how a period works. Unless you have one you don’t understand.
“How much longer?” he asks.
I glance at my phone. “Two minutes.”
He groans. “I never knew minutes were so long.”
“Me either,” I agree.
We both grow quiet, waiting. Hoping. Possibly even praying.
Ben looks at me and I stare right back. We both take a breath and I knock away the papers so I can pick up the stick.
“No peeking,” he warns.