“Yeah,” he replied, his tone softer, reminiscent. Through it he gave me a hint of melancholy and a lot of beautiful. “I got older and knew we’d never have that, but she didn’t quit dreamin’. She said she was gonna retire by a lake. Not a big house. Little cottage, she said. Not much to clean. Not much to take care of. That was gonna be the end of her days, her in a cottage by some lake. She wanted that for her and I wanted it for her. She worked hard her whole life. She deserved that.”
My voice carried, but it still was soft when I noted, “She didn’t get her cottage, did she, honey?”
“No, Jussy.”
“I’m so sorry,” I told him.
“What she did was give her boy that,” he told me. “She had a life insurance policy. Not much in it but it was enough that, when she died, I took it and found the most beautiful lake I could find. Bought this land. Bought my Airstream. Set myself up here. Just like she would have wanted.”
“So the shit with Mav dies down, I get Dad’s collection, I have him and Granddad with me. But you, you have your mom with you every second you’re here.”
He didn’t answer immediately but his deep voice was sweet when he did.
“Yeah, baby.”
I drew in another breath, this one deep and it burned a little at my throat, down into my lungs.
Once I had it in, the air of his trailer, the air Deke breathed, I let it out saying, “You know how you told me I was one of the best women you’ve ever met?”
He again didn’t answer immediately, then his deep voice sounded.
“Don’t, Jussy.”
I did.
“You’re one of the best men I’ve ever met.”
“Jussy.”
“That’s it, Deke. I’m a lucky girl. Blessed. Given so much bounty, it’s almost embarrassing how much God likes me. But He really must like me because I have all I have and He also gave me you.”
“You’re gonna be shutting up now,” Deke declared, I could hear the gruff in his voice, the buried emotion.
That was beautiful too.
I grinned down the hall.
“You’re also gonna be shuttin’ your eyes and goin’ to sleep,” he commanded.
“You and Mr. T might have had a taking-care-of-Justice-meeting-of-the-minds but this is plain bossing me, Deke.”
“Yeah, it is. And you keep talkin’, you’ll be talkin’ to nothin’ ’cause I’ll be putting my earphones in.”
It was my turn to boss.
“You listen to Dad, I want to hear it.”
“You’re talking,” Deke noted.
“No, seriously. I want to hear it.”
“Don’t got one of those speaker things. And sound is shit through the phone.”
“First chance, mall for Deke Hightower. Coffeemaker and speaker dock.”
“You buy me that shit, I’ll tan your hide.”
Shit.
Deke spanking me.
A quiver slithered down my spine, the small of my back, through the crease of my ass to settle in between my legs.
I rolled to my back and stared at the ceiling, knowing I should shut up.
Even knowing that, I still wasn’t going to let it go.
“You’ll have to catch me first. Though, that might happen as you’ll be caffeinated by decent coffee.”
I rolled back to my side as I heard and felt the movement of Deke making his way down the hall. I watched his big body hit the small space I was in, filling it up. I also watched as his phone illuminated that space and in a couple of seconds, I heard Dad singing.
He set the phone on the built-in nightstand next to his bed.
Then I watched as he bent deep and after that, all I could do was feel.
Feel his hand cupping the back of my head. Feel his lips touch my temple. Feel the rumble in his voice as he whispered in my ear.
“You’re safe here, Jussy. Got me lookin’ after you. Got Twyla outside lookin’ out for both of us. Got your dad watchin’ over you. So stop yammerin’ to keep sleep away. Close your eyes, gypsy, and I swear to God, you’ll be safe in your dreams.”
God, he could also talk sexy, sweet and protective, like a verbal cuddle.
God.
“Okay, Deke,” I whispered back.
I felt his fingers press into my scalp before I again felt his lips brush my temple.
“Night, Jussy. Catch you in the morning.”
Yeah.
One thing I’d learned that day in a way I knew it was for certain.
And it was something that would forever feed my poet’s soul having it in the way I did, which I treasured, and in the way I never would, which I longed for.
That being knowing without a doubt that no matter what…
Deke would catch me.
*
I heard glass shattering and woke with a start.
Panic assailed me, freezing every inch of my body in sheer terror.
A beat of silence slid by, two and then it hit me that I didn’t know where the fuck I was.
Deke’s trailer.
Deke.
Without thought, I threw back the covers and swung my legs over the side of the bed.
I ran down the short hall, but even with that little distance, when I hit Deke, he was already standing from the couch.
“Jussy,” he murmured.
“Glass,” I whispered after I ran right into him, feeling his arms close around me, pressing into him, my hands flat against warm skin over the muscled flesh of his chest that I was too much in a state to appreciate. “Shattering glass.”
Deke said nothing. He just shuffled us to the side until he hit a window and I bent with him as he glanced out.