A part of her wanted to deny the truth of that, but she knew him well enough to recognize the fact he wasn’t lying. Not to mention abandoning dates like that was one of the things he was famous for.
If he learned a woman was out with him for no other reason than he was a visir or if she showed more interest in his money or family than him, date over. There had even been well-publicized cases of him leaving and his security detail being sent in to escort his dates home.
Bastien didn’t play with people’s emotions.
Except for hers.
“Why did you ever go on that date?”
He laughed bitterly. “You were supposed to pitch a fit when I called that night to ask your permission, and tell me no. Show some emotion that there was hope for us. Instead, you gave me permission to date and, or, screw your sister. Those words cut me to the bone. So I thought I’d go to dinner, spend a few hours with her to agitate you, and be done with it all. But Alura got on my nerves so badly by the time we arrived at the restaurant that had she been anyone other than your sister, I’d have taken her straight home. In the end, after we were married and I came to the conclusion she hated me, I figured it was divine retribution for me trying to hurt you when I should have just been patient and given you the time you asked for.”
“Why weren’t you?”
“Damn, Ember. How can you ask that? We were practically living together. You had more stuff in my barracks cell than I did. Then I come back from PT after suffering through my brother’s reaming over my pouting about you to find that you’d cleaned out all my stuff and had me transferred over to my zusa’s division. I felt gutted. In the blink of an eye, you were gone from my life and I didn’t know why, or what I’d done to push you away.”
Bastien broke off as he relived that moment when he’d faced the corporal. It was like Ember had never existed. Like he didn’t matter enough to her for her to waste a moment of her time to explain to him what he’d done that was so awful. She was just gone from his life. He’d felt violated.
Worse, he’d felt abandoned.
“You wouldn’t even throw me a bone. After months with nothing from you, and after Alura had told me that you’d never really been interested in me—had only gone out because you were afraid of what I’d do to you and your family if you didn’t and you wanted to hurt her for the fact that you’d caught her sleeping with your ex … I figured she must be right. How else could you leave like that, without so much as a backward glance?”
Ember winced as she heard the pain in his deep voice. Damn Alura for knowing both their vulnerabilities. Her sister had put her lies right where they could do the most damage. “Can you ever forgive me?”
“Forgive you? Ember, you’re the only thing that got me through this nightmare.”
Leaning back against him, she closed her eyes and tried to come to terms with all the deceptions and years that had separated them.
Because she was an idiot.
“So where does this leave us?”
Bastien’s grip on her tightened. “I don’t know. But now that you’ve told me about Florian, I can’t let you fight with me. I won’t take his mother from him.”
“I won’t let you fight alone, and if you don’t stop Barnabas and clear your name, we have no future anyway. He’ll kill Florian if he ever finds him.”
Bastien winced at the truth. Barnabas was crazy and had even killed his brother, Jackson, when he feared Jackson might turn against him after the slaughter and expose him.
Not to mention that with Bastien’s conviction still in place, Florian was the rightful heir of Kirovar and should be on the throne. They could legitimately overthrow Barnabas, and his uncle knew it.
It was a miracle and said a lot about Ember’s exceptional skills that she’d been able to keep their son alive and safe all these years. Especially given how normal he’d sounded when they talked. Like any other child in the universe.
Instead, Florian should be in the palaces where Bastien had grown up. He should be spoiled rotten to his little core.
I screwed up everyone’s life.…
Sighing from the guilt of it all, Bastien wished he could go back in time and slap the absolute shit out of himself. “How did this become our lives, Em? All I wanted was to be holed up on some beach, drinking, and making love to you till I happily died of old age, in my sleep.”
Ember laughed at the mere thought of that as Bastien’s life. “You were never that man, Bastien. Since the day I met you, you’ve had your balls to the wall and one foot in the grave. It’s why your mother was so afraid for you. She knew you were suicidal.”
Yet for Ember, he’d have settled down. He’d been willing to give up his career to marry her. He’d even faced down her parents to date her.
A smile tugged at her lips as she remembered the first time her father and Bastien had faced off.
“Captain?” Her father had sneered at Bastien’s patch, and left off the impressive part of Bastien’s status.