Like death.
She finally breathed again as Bastien and his brother emerged from the building on the monitor. Their clothes were ruffled and Bastien had dirt smeared across one cheek, but his hazel eyes were light as he assured the reporters they were fine.
This time.
“I can’t marry him, Kindel.” Not if it meant his life.
“He won’t give up without a fight.”
“I know,” she choked. “But I’d rather he learn to hate me than know that I selfishly cost him his life or his family.”
“Em—”
“Don’t,” she said, cutting Kindel off before she could talk her out of this. “It’s what has to be done. Not just for him, but for all of us. At least he gave me a part of himself he’s never given anyone else.” Something his family couldn’t take from her. Especially since they didn’t know about it.
Yet even the very thought of being without him tore her apart.
At least he’s alive this way.
Better he live with someone else than marry her and die because of it.
That’s the lie I’m going to force myself to live with.
*
“What the minsid hell is this?” Bastien stared at the transfer orders on his link in total disbelief.
Blocking his access to the barracks where up until an hour ago he’d lived with Ember, the lance corporal turned bright red as she cleared her throat. The petite brunette handed him his tactical bag that someone else had packed with his uniforms, Gyron Force axe, and other personal items he didn’t want to think about. “Sorry, Captain. Thought you knew. Orders came through first thing this morning while you were out on PT. You’ve been reassigned to Bletch Division.”
You’ve got to be kidding me …
Gaping at the bullshit, he moved his gaze from her to the two MPs behind her as if she needed backup. Like he’d ever take his frustration out on a lower-ranking soldier.
That wasn’t his style. If he was going to assault anyone, it would be someone who had the authority and means to fight back, and stand a good chance at kicking his ass.
Someone like his sister whom he suspected of having done this shit to get even with him for proposing to Ember last night. And why not? Lil had been furious that he’d asked their mother for their grandmother’s ring. Furious that he’d dared to even contemplate placing such a precious Kirovarian heirloom on the hand of a lowborn pleb. Lillian had been shrieking at him for days over it.
No doubt, it would thrill Lil to no end when she learned that Ember had coldly refused the ring.
And him.
That she’d left him kneeling in the restaurant like an idiot, begging for one single kind word from her.
I don’t need this dritvík right now, Lil.
Bastien was still reeling from Ember’s rejection. She hadn’t just ripped his heart out. She’d publicly gutted him. Worse, she hadn’t even bothered to return to their barracks last night. Rather, she’d gone over to her parents’ house and left him alone in their bed to wallow in the misery of knowing he’d screwed up somehow.
He just didn’t know what he’d done wrong.
Why he wasn’t good enough for her to marry when she was everything to him.
Sick to his stomach, he took his pack from the corporal, knowing he’d have to report for his patrol soon. “Under whose command?”
“Major Cabarro.”
Of course. Just as he suspected. “My yokken zusa.” The profanity was out of his mouth before he could stop it.
She turned an even brighter shade of pink. “Yes, styrrah.”
A tic started in his jaw. If Lil had really done this to get back at him for proposing to Ember last night, he’d murder her for it. In her sleep. So help him!
“Who authorized it?” It better not have been his brother.
Or his uncle.
She stammered a bit before she pulled it up on her own link. “M-m-major Wyldestarrin.”
No dritvíkken way … Bastien’s breath left him in a rush as his brain struggled to grasp a reality he didn’t want to face.
Ember had done this to him. Intentionally. Without a single word. Without mercy or regard? She’d transferred him over to his sister’s division when she knew how much he hated being under Lil’s thumb. His sister treated him like a socially-stunted toddler and lived to embarrass him in front of everyone. She went out of her way to set him up for ridicule. He’d rather slit his own wrist than be near Lil in uniform.
Or out of uniform, either, for that matter.
Damn, that was even colder than the way Ember had left him hanging last night after the proposal.
Why not just castrate me and be done with it? Why go to such extremes to punish me?
What the hell did I do to you?
Trying to salvage whatever was left of his shattered dignity for the second time in a handful of hours, he nodded. “Thank you, Corporal.”
As he turned to find a transport to his new base, he slung the pack over his shoulder and tried to put it out of his mind.