“Do you have something you need to be doing on Saturday? Or are you just breaking my balls?”
She let out a pfft. She wasn’t scared of me or my outbursts. She reached up to a high display shelf and took down a Pyrex bowl. She got out her cigarettes and a lighter, then walked to the front porch as if she knew I’d follow.
Which I did. I wasn’t a lapdog, but she was my mother.
I met her on the porch. She offered me a cigarette. I declined but lit hers. One a day might kill her, but if it did, I wasn’t going to bust her ass about it. She’d been through enough.
“Here’s the thing,” she said, blowing out her first stream of smoke. “Sit down like you live here.” She sat on the porch chair, and I sat on the rail. “The thing is this. You got this nice girl. What are you going to do with her?”
“Mom. Really?”
“Really. You going to do the usual? Go a few turns and never see her again?”
“How do you even know what I do?”
“I’m your mother. Just because you don’t bring them home doesn’t mean I don’t have eyes and ears. The only reason she was here is because she followed you home.” She took another drag and leaned her arm over a potted plant to flick the ashes.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ll let you know when I know. Or not, since you seem to know anyway.”
She waved me off, sending the smoke in different directions.
“Phin’s going to be a man soon, then it’s you and me. Believe me, neither one of us wants that, so I’m going to get a place, and you can keep this big house to yourself. Or you can let a woman into your life. Unless you want to be celibate. You’re not a priest, and you’re not enough of a whore to keep this up.”
“You know better than anyone why I keep this up.”
“Yeah, I do. Believe me. If I’d known this secret would crush you, I never would have agreed to it.”
“It’s not crushing me. Give me a break.”
She smothered the cigarette in the dirt and held the dead butt in her fingertips.
“I’ll give you a break. Go have a life. When you go out with that girl on Saturday, let yourself fall a little in love. Just a little. See what happens.” She got up and kissed me on the cheek. “It might not be so bad.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Good. Don’t stay up too late.”
She went inside. I lingered on the porch for a long time, wondering if that ship had already sailed. Odds were good I was already a little in love with Emily.
CHAPTER 30
EMILY
Fabian drove me to work the next morning, which was good. I got fifteen minutes of rest in the back seat and didn’t have to find a parking spot. He didn’t say anything to me until we were signing into Citizens Warehouse.
“You working Vegas?” he asked.
“Yeah, you?”
“Vegas, baby. Wouldn’t miss it.”
Vegas wasn’t going to be fun, no matter how excited Fabian was. Preshows and first shows were a nightmare. No one knew where anything was. Big holes in the production became apparent too late. During the last preshow in San Diego, Darlene had a wardrobe malfunction at the crotch, and ten thousand people watched as the entire dance troupe formed a wall between her and them. The song went south, but thanks to the quick thinking of my dancers, the star’s pride wasn’t too badly damaged.
“Does the entire security team travel?”
“The top guys. Carlos. Me. Bart complains, but he goes. Not Carter. He’s LA only. Hard limit, and man, Carlos ain’t happy.”
I tried not to smile, but it was impossible. He wasn’t going on tour, and after the first couple of shows, neither was I. Good thing I was in the back seat, or Fabian might ask why I was so happy Carter was staying in Los Angeles for the length of the seven-month tour.
I entered the studio. At eight a.m., it already smelled of sweat and coffee.
“Simon!” I said to Darlene’s lift partner. “I need to show you what I worked on yesterday.”
Simon wiped a tiny spot of yogurt from the corner of his mouth.
“‘Make Him Yours’?”
“Yeah, I think we can make it not suck.”
“You’re a magician.”
“What are you saying about my songs?” Darlene interrupted. Her assistant was by her side, carrying bags. Carlos was right behind her with a wire in his ear and a bulge in his jacket.
“Not the song,” I said.
“The song is perfect,” Simon chimed in.
“The routine. Simon and I will go over it, and you can run it in a few hours.”
Her assistant dropped the bag and went to the craft services table to get Darlene her coffee. Simon followed, and they giggled and dished together.
“You’re announcing Vegas tonight?” I asked Darlene.
She nodded and blew on her coffee. “On Entertainment Live! Liam’s set up this whole thing where I pick fans out of the line to win the best seats, then tickets go on sale.”
“As if you just thought of it,” I said.
“As if.” She rolled her eyes. “You coming later?”
I often accompanied Darlene on her appearances. Just to keep myself occupied and keep her in the company of “someone real.” I didn’t feel like being the real girl.
“I’m skipping if it’s all right.”
“It’s fine. Girl, I am not ready for this show. I’m not hitting the notes. I have cement feet.”
“You always get nervous before a tour.”
“I need to get laid.”
Truth. But as she’d gotten more and more famous, getting laid got harder and harder.
“What about your manager? What’s-his-face?” I tilted my chin toward a guy in a suit and shiny shoes talking to her publicist. It took me forever to figure out how their jobs were different.
“Liam?” She jerked her thumb at him as if she didn’t care if he knew we were talking about him. Which she didn’t. “I do not play that man’s game.”
“It’ll relax you.” I waggled my brow a little.
“Whatever. You look pretty relaxed yourself. You didn’t come back after lunch.” It was her turn to waggle her brow.
“We fed the cat.”
“That a euphemism or something?”
I smiled. Maybe it was. “Or something.”
“Whoa, girl. Really?”
“No, but yes. Anyway, I had dinner at his house.”
Her eyes went wide, and I realized Carter was intense about his privacy. I had no idea what I could or couldn’t say about his family, so I decided to hope Darlene didn’t ask.
“Tell me everything.”
So much for that. What was the most innocuous thing I could reveal?
“He has a nice house.”
“Where?”
“Hancock Park.”
Behind her, Liam hovered, jockeying for position in line for her attention. Darlene’s day was about to begin.
“Are you serious? A whole house?”
“Yeah. So?”
“I know Carlos pays these boys nice money, but a house in Hancock Park? What street?”
I shrugged. I didn’t know the circumstances around the house. For all I knew, it was his mother’s, or a lucky rental, or the result of an inheritance. It wasn’t my business any more than Darlene’s. I didn’t want to answer another question until I knew exactly what I was and wasn’t allowed to say.
“I think Liam needs to talk to you,” I said, indicating the handsome Englishman. He nodded slightly and muscled past.