I did. Inside was a delicate silver chain with a silver disc on it. On one side was a tiny diamond chip. On the other the words, “Blow, just blow,” were engraved.
“Blow, just blow, Gabby. Everything will be okay.”
I turned the charm around and pretended the diamond chip was a dandelion and blew.
We heard the thumping off and on all night. I’m not sure if we fell asleep or not, but around seven the next morning, our door unlocked.
“Get yourselves ready for school, girls, and make some breakfast. The bus will be here in thirty minutes,” my father commanded.
My mother always had our breakfast ready and walked us to the bus stop. I opened the door and saw my father walking into the kitchen. I tiptoed to my parents’ bedroom door and knocked, but my father was back before I opened the door. “Your mother isn’t feeling well. Now go on and get moving. You don’t want to miss the bus.”
I did as he said.
My sister had to babysit after school for our neighbor and when I came home, my father was there. He didn’t have a shirt on and he was dressed in the same pants he had been wearing this morning. Beer bottles cluttered the table. I knew he hadn’t gone to work.
He looked up from the papers he was reading. “You got homework?”
I nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“Go to your room and do it. And Gabrielle,” he said.
My body started to tremble.
“When Elizabeth gets home, have her make you some dinner and go straight to bed. Your mother will get you off to school in the morning.”
His words were slightly slurred, but I understood we were not to disturb him.
I nodded again and walked down the hallway. Instead of going to my room, though, I went to my parents’ room. I didn’t knock. I just opened the door. My mother was lying on the bed, not moving. I was petrified.
Until she glanced up.
She must have been sleeping.
“Go, Gabby, go. Please,” she pleaded.
Her tearstained face was all I could see and I hated that she’d been crying.
“Go, before you sees you in here.”
Terrified, I looked around the room. The rug had been moved to the foot of the bed and rope was tied around the posts, but everything else seemed in place. Not understanding what was really going on, I shut the door and ran to my room. A few minutes later I heard the lock of my door.
That thumping that drove me mad started right afterward. This time my father was louder, groaning and talking to my mother. “I’m sorry, Susan. I don’t want to hurt you, but I need to be inside you.”
“I’m fine,” she said, no inflection in her voice.
“You’re not. I can tell.”
“I want to see the girls.”
“Tomorrow. This is for your own good.”
“How is keeping me away from my children for my own good.”
“It’s the only way I can think of to make you understand I have needs, too.”
What am I not giving you?”
“Besides a son to carry on my name, your attention.”
“You are always at work,” she muttered.
“Yes, Susan, I’m at work and my work is stressful. I can’t afford to be so tightly wound. There are times I need you to help relieve my stress and you just refuse me. If you want me to be able to continue to provide for this family, you have to be available to me more than you are.”
She muttered something.
“Don’t be mad.”
She didn’t respond to his form of apology.
“Don’t be mad, baby.”
Still, no response.
He said it again. Over and over, until I couldn’t stand the sound of his voice.
When I thought I might scream, I ran to the window and held up my bracelet. Blowing on it, all I wished for was that the incessant thumping end.
Something had happened that day. Some kind of switch had turned off for my mother. She was never the same after that. She didn’t cry anymore at night. Sure, I heard the thumping, and my father’s words, “I need to be inside you,” but that was all I ever heard again. Her cries in the night were gone.
Clementine started to cry and jolted me from the space in my head.
Had my sister been in the car, or had the charm been there the entire three months I’d been driving it?
I wasn’t sure, and I wasn’t sure if I would ever know.
Clementine’s cries continued, and I pulled her juice cup from my bag and handed it to her. She smiled. Happy and content once again, she leaned against the seat and drank from her cup.
Locked out of the garage, I backed down the side driveway, rounded the corner, and pulled up to the curb in front of Michael’s regal-looking brick home. There were no front lights on, and that made me nervous. They were on a timer, so they should have been on.
Was I being paranoid?
I contemplated for several seconds what to do before deciding what was best. I’d hurry up the walk to unlock the house and turn the lights on before I brought Clementine in.
She’d be safe. I wouldn’t be far away and I wouldn’t be long. I looked back at Clementine. She was chewing on the cup now. “I’ll be right back, silly girl.”