“I want to take you away from here and sail somewhere beautiful. I want to be free from these chains that bind me.”
“That’s it?” Jesus, he wasn’t experiencing what she was at all. She’d never thought someone could feel something that intense and have it be utterly one-sided. Elizabeth tried to gather her senses, but had little luck being so close to him. He hadn’t released her, and she wasn’t inclined to be released, even if he wasn’t going to kiss her.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “How does this work? Your chains?”
That seemed to shatter the moment. He released her, almost as if she were something he didn’t want to touch at all. Her ego might’ve whimpered just a bit.
“I must protect you. I must do what you say.”
“What happens if you don’t?”
“Pain until I comply, unless I’m refusing the order because it’s dangerous to you.”
“Can I release you?”
He spun back around, gripping her arms. “Don’t say that unless you mean it.”
Electricity crackled, and his touch carried with it a bit of a current. Nothing uncomfortable, but surprising. “Of course I mean it, Adam.”
“Then say it. Now.”
She opened her mouth, but for a single second, knew doubt. If she released him now, would he leave her here to fight this alone?
He shook his head. “I knew you wouldn’t. Mary promised she’d release me too, but instead of the release she promised, she forced me to murder one of the kindest women I’ve ever known,” he snarled.
“Hey, shit. Give me a second to process, okay? I’m scared. I’m alone.”
“I said I’ll protect you. Trust my word.”
“And I should trust you won’t leave me? If you’re free, you’ll have no horse in the race. You can’t blame me for thinking of my own survival.” That was the only reason he was there, because he’d been compelled to be. He didn’t want to kiss her, touch her, his skin didn’t ache with the need to be touched like hers did.
She steeled herself, because fuck this. Elizabeth had always had to fight. She’d always had to fight alone. Why should this be any different? She didn’t need him. Not if he didn’t want to be here.
“I release you.”
Elizabeth turned away from him to renew her hunt for another passage. Bureau 7 must’ve had a safety pod or some means of communication and survival gear hidden in the cave. She simply had to find it.
She could berate herself later, while she was waiting to be rescued.
A roar was torn from him, and she found herself hoisted against him, and she didn’t know what it was in his eyes. Fury? Fear? Gratitude? Whatever it was, she liked seeing it on him. She liked looking at his face, the hard angles of his jaw. Even his one gold eye, and one blue. She liked the scar around his neck…
“Why do you think of me this way?”
“I don’t understand what you’re asking.” Perhaps some part of her did, but he’d already made it clear he wasn’t interested.
“This desire.” He tightened his grip on her. “You’ve freed me, but I still feel it. You can’t want this.”
She understood now. Elizabeth leaned her head against his chest, pressing herself as close as she could get, returning the firm, almost painful embrace. “Of course I do. I won’t say I’m not curious about you in all ways, that it’s not at all a scientific interest. That’s just how my mind works, but I can say, we’d have to do many, many things before I could even focus on that aspect. You make me dizzy.” She pulled back to look up at him again. Elizabeth wanted him to see the truth of her words in her eyes. “You make me hot.”
“Why?”
“That’s the question that any two people could ask, don’t you think? Why? Because our genes are compatible?”
“I cannot… that is… I do not…” he spluttered.
“Does it matter? If you want me, take me.”
“I swore I’d never touch another Wollstonecraft woman this way.”
Another? “So you’ve been with one of us before? Was it not something you wanted?” She couldn’t imagine the horror of living, bound as he was, to another’s whims. To be forced…
“She was woman-shaped.” He shrugged. “It wasn’t a hardship. Not that part of it. It was the other things she made me do. The murders.”
“Mary, you mean. She was a child when she married Percy.”
“No, it was after he died.”
“The woman you spoke of, the kind one.” Elizabeth searched his face and found the sadness she’d hoped to see. She was on the right track. “That was Percy’s first wife, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, and hers is the only death I’ve regretted.”
Elizabeth wished she had some words to make it better, to ease his guilt and pain, but she didn’t. So instead, she offered him the same thing he’d offered her all those years ago. A quiet touch, the simple knowledge that he wasn’t alone.
“Come with me,” he said. “Leave this place, leave Bureau 7.”
He’d dipped his head now, and his words were a feather light whisper against her lips.
“You know I can’t. Not yet. Maybe not ever.”
“Why?” He was still so close to her.