“Anna.”
The voice from beneath the clump of alders behind me was so unexpected I let out an unladylike screech, then clapped my hand to my mouth in mortification. I whirled around, my heart thumping. Hoping, hoping…
I was not wrong. Gábor stood in the shadows of the trees, watching me. Strangely, I did not mind the weight of his eyes.
“You left,” I said stupidly.
He crossed the campsite toward me. “I helped my sisters to Buda-Pest, where they will stay for the winter. And then I came back.”
For me? I wanted to ask, but swallowed the words. My entire body was a lit fuse. Whatever this knot of feeling in my chest was, I could not tangle it further by inviting confidences I was not ready to hear. He was Romani, and whatever I was, I was not that. And I could not bear another Freddy: another set of intentions and veiled promises and heated feelings and disappointment.
“I had business with your cousin,” he said, and I was doubly glad I had not asked.
He studied my face a moment, his eyes lingering on my mouth a heartbeat longer than strictly proper. “Are you well? You look flushed.”
I fluttered my handkerchief at my face. “It’s this heat.”
“I heard you were ill.”
“A temporary indisposition. I am much better now, thank you.” I could not mention Sárvár, after his warning. I could not bear seeing the concern in his eyes fade to anger, or worse, repulsion.
“I should not keep you,” he said. “You have illustrious visitors at the palace, I hear.”
I waved my hand. “They don’t matter.”
“The German herr asks about you in the csárda. And Mátyás says the English lady has been hounding you. If she is bothering you, perhaps I can help.”
An involuntary laugh escaped me. “You cannot help with this.”
His lips tightened. “I may be Romani, but I am not helpless.”
“I did not mean that! Only this…this is Luminate business.”
“What does she want?”
It would be easier to hide truths from him if I cared nothing for him, if the sharp line of his cheek did not distract my thoughts, if my body did not already impel me toward him.
I did not want to lie to Gábor. I said nothing. I balled my hands into fists and did not move.
“You don’t trust me.” His words were steady, unsurprised, only the faintest tinge of sadness in them to tear at my heart.
“I do trust you.”
Gábor stalked forward, stopping so close to me I could feel the warmth from his body. So close his breath stirred the hair around my face. “Then tell me.”
When I didn’t answer, he put both hands on my shoulders. My skin, even under the fabric of my dress, prickled at his touch.
“Anna.” My stomach fluttered at the intensity in his voice, the intimacy of my bare name. “Tell me this: what has the English lady asked of you? And why will you not tell me? Is it something to do with Sárvár?”
“No.” It wasn’t a lie: the spell at Sárvár was already broken. Lady Berri had no interest in it.
He stared at me but did not release me. “A great English lady, a member of your Luminate Circle, comes to visit you—a girl without magic, who cannot learn spells but who can break them….” He trailed off, horrified. “The Binding.”
“I have not agreed to anything,” I said, beginning to feel angry. Why was everyone so determined to choose my path for me? I could not see there was much to choose between what Lady Berri offered and what Herr Steinberg did. Herr Steinberg would see me live out the same dull, restricted life I had always lived at the fringes of society. Lady Berri offered change, excitement, a chance to do something that mattered. But what of the costs? How would my world look in the aftermath of the Binding breaking? The American colonists had ushered in a vigorous democracy on the heels of a revolution, but there was no guarantee the same would happen here. What if breaking the Binding only led to bloodshed—or something worse than the Circle rising to power?
“What has she offered you?”
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “I didn’t say she’d offered me anything.”
“I know a deal when I see one, and this scheme reeks of it. What has she promised you?”
My cheeks flamed. I pulled a cloak of anger over my embarrassment and jerked away. “Whatever she offers is my business alone. You and I have no promise—no deal, as you put it—that gives you any right to question me.”
A veil shuttered down over Gábor’s face. “If you trust her more than you trust me, then you’re right. We have nothing left to say to each other. My apologies for disturbing you.” He turned away.
My heart clenched tight. “Wait. Please. I didn’t come here to fight with you. I haven’t said yes to her.”
He paused, listening, but did not turn back.
“Please,” I said again. “I am going to Buda-Pest tomorrow. You say your family is there. Will I see you there?”
“And how should I see you, Miss Arden?” The distance was back between us in my formal name, in the stiff way he held himself, his arms crossed across his chest, in the bitter tang of his voice. “Shall I come calling at your grandmama’s house? Ask you to dance at some fine Luminate party?”
Angry tears stung my eyes. “You need not mock me. I am not the one using our differences as a weapon. I don’t care that you are Romani.”
The stiffness evaporated from his shoulders. He turned back and crossed the space dividing us. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.” He reached out one lean hand and brushed my cheek. “Please, trust me. Do not do what this woman asks.”
My skin came alive beneath his touch. “Very well,” I said, not agreeing precisely but buying myself time. I did not want him to leave. “Will you go back to your family?”
“I am not currently welcome, not after what happened.”
“You’ve been banished?” Shock lined my veins with ice.
“Do not judge the elders. Their job is to keep the family safe. They did what they deemed right—as I did.” He shrugged, but I could see how his shoulders hunched, as if to ward off a blow. “In time, I may be allowed back.”
“But how shall you live?”
“I shall look for work. A clerical position in a small firm, if I am very lucky.”
A possibility bubbled up inside me. “I have a better idea.” I grabbed his hand. “Come with me.”
If Grandmama was surprised by my abrupt appearance in the parlor with Gábor in tow, the only sign she made was a small sigh.
“What is it, Anna?”
“I’ve found a secretary for you,” I said.
“A…but…Anna, I’m not in need of a secretary.”
Gábor shifted from one foot to the other, tucking his hands behind him. “Truly, Miss Arden, this is very kind of you, but if your grandmother has no need of my services, I should go.”
Lady Berri set down her cup of tea, her small eyes dancing with interest.