Lord Irrik snorted and pulled me away from my mother. And like a worthless piece of lint, he tossed me across the room. “Stupid girl.”
I slammed into the wall above my bed, this time on my left side, and pain exploded in my ribs in a burst of blinding white. My hatred ballooned for this . . . monster. This unfeeling, horrible monster.
Revulsion tore through me, but it wasn’t enough. It needed an outlet. I needed to hurt him. I rolled off the bed, clutching my sides, and the room blurred as the blood drained from my face. Loathing sharpened my vision, and I lifted my chin only for my heart to stall.
Irrik had his back to me now. His boot on top of the blade in my mother’s chest. Mum was facing me, the peace in her eyes at odds to the turmoil and rage in the room.
“Baby,” she mouthed.
Mother, I answered her silently.
“This was the one you were meant to follow,” Irrik said as he pushed down on the hilt with his boot.
My mother’s body jerked before the spark in her eyes went from dazed awareness, to acknowledgement, to acceptance. The spark became smaller.
Smaller and duller.
“No,” I screamed, throwing myself at the Drae. We crashed into a heap on the ground, and I drew back my fist, punching him as hard as I could on the chin. I couldn’t have been the only one surprised when his head snapped back in response. His gaze returned to me, an intensity in his eyes as he stared at me.
“I hate you,” I whispered.
I slid off him and crawled to Mum, even though I could see she wasn’t there anymore. I closed my eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks, and opened them to find her still dead.
Blood saturated her tunic. She stared vacantly at my room’s ceiling. She was . . . extinguished.
Gone.
But my mind couldn’t make sense of this fact or of the sight of her.
Someone lifted me to my feet, and I struggled to free myself from his grasp. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
“I’m not leaving,” I snarled. Just try to take me away. I’d never wanted to hurt someone more than in this moment.
“Throw her on the street,” Irrik snapped as he brushed a speck of Mum’s blood off his aketon. The Drae radiated anger and disgust, and he didn’t look at me whatsoever. His tone was a haughty command. “She’s upset about her mother, an ignorant child. I won’t be wasting our resources—”
“She attacked you, sir. It is an unpardonable offense,” the captain countered, stepping up to the guard holding me. The captain grabbed my chin and squeezed until the pain elicited a whimper. “I’d think you would be happy to dispose of her, Lord Irrik. After all, she is the daughter of an insurgent. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, so they say.”
I couldn’t look at the Drae. I couldn’t look at the person who had kicked a dagger into my mother’s dying heart. A scorching abhorrence bubbled up, filling my chest and pushing up my neck, and I couldn’t keep my anger contained. I flung the vilest insults and obscenities at Lord Irrik, needing him to know how much I loathed him.
The captain slapped me. Hard. His hand connected with my face with a sharp crack that made white spots erupt in my vision. I slumped in the guard’s arms, head stabbing with pain and vision blurring.
“There’s no challenge in disposing of one so weak,” Irrik said to the captain. “She’ll die during the cold season, and I like the thought of a drawn-out death for her.” He stared at me, pointed at mother’s body, and said, “We’ll have someone collect the body to take to the king. I have reason to believe she was high up in the rebellion, so leave her to rot for a day or two. Let the Zone find her so word will spread. He’ll be pleased.”
So callously said. This man was dead inside.
I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. Ever. He was a liar. No, worse. He was pure evil, rotten from the inside out.
I stamped my foot down on the guard’s instep and shoved the captain aside, then pulled the dagger free from Mum’s chest—knowing the squelching sound as it came out would never leave me—and launched myself at the Drae. He had to die.
He killed my mother.
Irrik grabbed the hand with the dagger, squeezing until it clattered to the floor. I swung my other fist into his gut, but if he felt anything, he didn’t react. Instead, he flipped me so my back was to him. With one arm, he circled my waist, and his other arm wrapped high across my chest, pinning my arms to my sides.
My chest tightened both with my grief and the Drae’s hold. How had this happened? I needed someone to help me understand.
I killed my mother.
The captain laughed. “She’s gone feral. Better subdue her.”
Lord Irrik held me close, and his voice wasn’t entirely human when he spoke to the soldiers next, “Get out.”
His voice resonated through my back, and the three soldiers in the room pushed past one another to get out of the room.
“Just holler if you need any help,” the captain said from the doorway. “She’s a feisty one. Just the way I like them.”
The man let his gaze wander over my body, and I stood numb, unable to care. I glimpsed a horde of soldiers outside before the door closed.
I clenched my teeth. “Let go of me. Now.”
“No. Be quiet.” His inhuman voice was so soft I wasn’t sure if I was hearing it or feeling it.
I twisted to free myself, but his grip tightened. I turned my head and tried to elbow him but couldn’t get any force behind the movement.
Lord Irrik pulled me closer still, and this time I was the one who growled.
“Keep that up and you’ll only hurt yourself,” he said in an emotionless voice.
“You killed her,” I ground out between my clenched teeth, staring at her lifeless body. “You said you’d help her and you—”
“I said to be quiet,” he growled, putting his hand over my mouth. He turned us, his body blocking the view of my mother’s corpse, and put his lips to my ear. “I know you’re in shock, but now is not the time to say something that will get you killed. Your mother just sacrificed herself so you would live. You think she’d want you to throw that away?”
My rage erupted. “How dare you speak as if you knew her?”
The black in the room drew into him, made his skin tingle against mine. Monster.
He whispered, “You should have listened. It wouldn’t have saved your mother, but it would’ve saved you. Now you’ll be going before the king, and I can’t help you there. You need to stop. Right now.”
I wanted to hurt him so bad. I wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare to hear Mum comforting me. He was saying all these things, and I didn’t care.
“My breath won’t work on you,” he muttered.
Subdue. That was what the captain had meant. A tiny thrill of defiant triumph ran through me. Irrik couldn’t subdue me.
“Will you pretend?” he asked in the low tone that left me shivering.
“Will you bring my mother back?” I turned to glare at him and had the satisfaction of seeing a tiny crack appear in his impassive fa?ade.