I didn’t have the driver take me home until late that night, and because of the shit I’d put him through that day, I gave him a month’s pay as an unspoken apology.
But as soon as I walked into the house, I almost called him back and asked him to take me anywhere other than that empty house.
Because all of it was too familiar . . . but still so different. Everything I’d sworn I would never go through again, I’d let repeat.
But this?
Briar?
I didn’t know how to survive this.
I went to the upper level and walked slowly to her room. I flipped the lights on and looked over to the made bed, and my heart dropped when I noticed the papers and money were gone. I forced myself from the room, knowing it would only kill me slowly to stay in there longer, and went back downstairs.
It was dark and quiet, as it had been for years before she’d come into my life . . . but now it felt all wrong.
I swallowed past the tightness in my throat and headed for my office, only stopping on the way to grab a bottle of bourbon. I didn’t need a glass. I needed to stop feeling.
My cell phone rang, and as soon as the distinctive ringtone registered in my mind, I stopped abruptly just feet from the office door. I stared straight ahead, not seeing anything in front of me, just listening as my phone rang and rang, dreading this call.
“Yeah?” I answered in a dark tone, and was greeted with silence. “Unless you’re worried about a bottle of bourbon hearing you, you can speak.”
“How are things progressing?”
Progressing. I hated that word. I thought about the girl who was in the air, on her way back to Atlanta at that exact moment, and blew out a harsh breath. “They’re not,” I admitted.
There was a beat of silence before he demanded, “What do you mean, they’re not?”
I waved behind me with the bottle of bourbon, as if to show that my house was now empty, but otherwise didn’t respond. Instead, I flipped the light on in my office and walked to the desk from memory as I focused on opening the bottle and fell into my chair with a huff. The bottle was kissing my lips when I turned toward the computer and saw the piece of paper taped to it.
You IDIOT!
Yeah, Blackbird . . . Yeah. I took a swig, and focused on nothing but the burn as the liquid slid down my throat.
I was stalling. The man on the other end of the call and I both knew it, and I wanted nothing more than to continue, because my next words would change so many things. And as soon as I told him I’d sent my girl back home, I would be putting my name on a bullet, putting him in a difficult position, and creating chaos that shouldn’t be touching our world.
“You have ten seconds to tell me what you mean. Nine. Eight. Sev—”
“I looked into her,” I finally said and knew the sound I heard was most likely a chair he’d just sent skidding across the floor.
“You now have five seconds to tell me why things aren’t progressing,” he growled.
“She wasn’t ever supposed to be taken. She wasn’t an unknown. Briar Chapman. Type in her name, dozens of news stories will pop up. The governor of Georgia’s son was her fiancé.”
There was a long pause before he hissed out a curse. “Even if all that is true, there is a reason you don’t look them up. What the fuck did you do?” He didn’t wait for me to respond; he already knew, based on his next question. “Do you realize this could ruin everything?”
I glanced down and drew in a slow breath, savoring it like it was my last. But before I could release it, I noticed a pile of shredded paper sitting on top of my keyboard. My brow furrowed, and I released the breath I was holding as I set down the bourbon bottle. I picked up strings of paper, trying to figure out what my broken girl had destroyed, and had just decided it was probably my letter when I realized everything I was seeing was printed, and the strip in my hand had Houston’s airport initials on it.
“I have to go,” I said quickly and tripped over the foot of the chair from trying to get out of it so fast.
“No, you need to tell me exactly what has happened and what you’ve done,” he demanded as I took off running out of my office.
Apparently not what we both thought, I thought to myself as I flew upstairs. “I told you, I looked her up.”
“You said—”
“Things aren’t progressing right now, but they will. I have to go,” I gritted out and hung up before he could respond as I rushed to the starter room and then back to Briar’s room when she wasn’t there. After looking through her bathroom and closet as well, I went to another room, and another. I was almost finished checking all the bedrooms on the top level when it hit me, and I took off in a dead sprint for the stairs again.
I burst into my room, my chest rising and falling harshly from the adrenaline, my heart racing as I stared at the small, perfect shape of my blackbird as she slept in my bed.
“Briar.” Her name fell from my lips like a prayer, and some indescribable, overwhelming feeling filled and warmed my chest.
I stepped out of my shoes and socks as I walked toward the bed, and crawled so my knees were on either side of her, caging her in. Brushing her long hair away from her face, I said her name again, and watched her slowly wake.
Her eyes glanced at me, then widened. “Luc—you’re h—you idiot!” she cried, and tears instantly filled her eyes.
“Yes, Briar, yes,” I said on a rush. “For so many things I am that.”
“I will always love him—I thought I was going to marry him.” Her eyes were wild as she tried to get me to understand something I couldn’t. “But can’t you see that I can’t live without you? Can’t you see that I’m in love with you?”
I sat back, shocked at her words.
“I know, I know . . . it isn’t allowed. But since when have we ever cared about what is allowed? I don’t care if you will never be able to love me back. I knew that even when I gave you my heart.” Briar wiped at her tears and looked up at me with a pleading stare. “I gave you my heart, stop trying to make me leave you.”
Shock was replaced by awe as I looked at her. “You’re mine.” For the first time, it was a realization.
“Yes! You idi—”
I pressed my mouth to hers and wrapped my arms underneath her to lift her upper body off the bed. With a slowness that suggested we had an eternity, I pulled the shirt off her and dropped it over the side of the bed, then cupped her face in my hands to wipe away the remaining tears.
“I had to let you go, you have to see that.” I passed my thumb over her bottom lip when her jaw trembled and searched her eyes. “You’ll never be forced to stay here again, Briar, but please God, don’t ever leave.”
“I don’t want to be somewhere you aren’t,” she said simply as she reached for the button on my pants.
I captured her lips in a slow kiss and groaned into her mouth when she freed me and curled her hand around my length. With the other, she pushed my pants and boxer briefs down and slowly lay back against the pillows.