“I’m here,” Kota said.
I paused. I was nervous talking to him. He’d been so unhappy with me, yelled at by Victor over me. I’d kissed Gabriel and he’d seen it. He’d said he couldn’t stop picturing it.
I had made a mess of things. Yet here he was, talking to me, reaching out to me for some unknown reason. With Carol looking at me, I had to force myself to stay on task. “Eventually we got it to work,” I said quietly. “Someone eventually showed me how.”
Kota continued. “Don’t react to what I’m saying. We’re testing boundaries with Carol when it comes to you. We’ll just talk about camp a bit and see how long it takes before she says you’ve got to go. Did you like the food at camp?”
“The food was okay,” I said and then leaned against the counter. “Actually, I ate mostly Pop Tarts.”
Kota chuckled, and hearing the sound softened my fears a little. “Aren’t you tired of those yet? Anyway, after I get off the phone with you, it’s okay to tell her about Uncle and the job. Tell her you’ve got a job with a schedule, Jessica is your friend who lives on this block and you sometimes spend the night at her house. My mom will verify anything. We may bring in another girl that’s more your age for this. Let’s test your leash, so to speak. The more you’re out of the house, the better. Tell me about Mrs. Rose and the hike.”
I suddenly understood. Carol was normal. If I established this was what was normal for me, she’d possibly accept it. It’d be weird later if I never went anywhere right from the start and then suddenly had social and other obligations.
Between school, a job, and a friend I went to see, I’d have plenty to occupy my time, and plenty of reasons to be away from here.
Was that the plan? That I’d stay and just get out when I could?
What about moving?
I relayed to him the crazy hike and the cave experience from camp. Carol went back to wiping down the table and other things around the kitchen, always within earshot. I ran the water quietly, washing, rinsing and putting dishes in the dishwasher while talking.
“Okay, let’s not push it,” he said after a bit. “Say: Okay, I’ll ask, and then ask her if you can come over on Sunday, or if she can come over and study. We don’t care about the answer. Just want to hear what she says.”
My nerves electrified and I swallowed. I tried to automate this, do it without thinking so I wouldn’t chicken out. “Okay, I’ll ask.” I paused in my washing and turned.
Carol immediately stopped, holding a damp paper towel in her hands. Her eyebrows arched, expecting.
She knew exactly what this was. She didn’t seem irritated, though. That was good, right?
I kept the phone by my ear to be able to hear Kota. “She wants to know if she can come here to study on Sunday, or if I can go to her place to study.”
“You can’t go anywhere where I haven’t met the parents,” she said in an almost singsong tone.
“She can meet her anytime,” he said in my ear. “She’ll be here Sunday morning.”
“She...said her mom will be there Sunday morning if you’d like to come by. They live only a few houses down.”
Carol made a tight smile and then nodded. “It might be nice to meet some neighbors.”
Kota blew a breath into the phone. “We’ll try to keep that under control. Tell her to come by anytime.”
“She said come by anytime.”
“We will. Now you’ve got to finish the dishes and your room.”
“I have to go,” I said, turning back to the sink to look at it, my heart beating so quickly. She...was acting normal. This gave me some hope.
“Don’t forget to talk about the job and see how much you can work there. We’ll add more things over time. Don’t worry.” He paused and then spoke softly. “I’m with you, Sang. I’m right here.”
There was desperation in his voice, a concerned tone.
I wish he hadn’t said it, as I was tearing up looking at the sink. “Talk to you later,” I said quietly, trying not to let my voice quiver.
He paused for a long moment and then said quickly, “Miss you already.” He hung up after that.
Did he mean it? Elation spilled through me, wishing he’d said more. I put the phone back on the hub and sought to control my feelings. “Thank you,” I said quietly.
I sensed Carol still behind me. While there was an air of salt from dinner, and soap we were using to clean, I could smell the perfume she used, a little too acidic and sharp for my taste. “For what?”
I didn’t really know. I was forcing myself to be polite even though I was tired and hated this game I had to play around her. I realized it probably didn’t make any sense, but she was waiting for me to answer. I turned to her, looking at the tiled floor, the same tiles I stared at for hours on a stool once as punishment for lying. It seemed a lifetime ago now. I didn’t know why I was thinking about it now. Probably because I was again uncomfortable and looking at the same floor. “For...letting me talk to Jessica?”
Carol gave me a dark stare, rag in hand, her blouse shifting slightly as she was breathing. She glanced toward the living room, where my father was, and then up toward the ceiling, where her son was being very noisy walking around. “Finish up the dishes. We should talk.”
My insides tightened as hard as if I’d swallowed a baseball and it settled in my stomach. I nodded quietly, returning to the dishes and overwhelmed with thoughts of what she could possibly want to talk about that she couldn’t just say here.
Whatever it was, I knew I had to go through it. I needed to find out everything she knew.
Why was part of me hoping she tried something? Something so severe that I could just walk away forever?
Negative Numbers
DR. GREEN
––––––––
Sean Green was knee-deep in camping supplies that had managed to make it back. Kota’s bedroom floor was covered in sleeping bags. Bins were partially filled with dirty clothing, separated appropriately for washing the loads a few at a time.
He chewed a thumbnail, sitting on the floor, his back against Kota’s bed. He watched Sang on his phone, using the cameras as she ate dinner, and then dealt with Carol while Sang washed dishes.
Sang shook like a leaf. Whatever she was doing, she stared at the floor, shaking, looking tired and defeated.
He couldn’t hear what was said, only watched how she moved. He told himself to keep an eye on her, to look for signs that she was ill. Would she faint again? Why couldn’t Carol see she needed rest more than the dishes needed to be done?
They were doing this completely wrong. Despite what Owen had said to him, there was a sinking feeling in his heart that they were going to lose her in this.