I nodded enthusiastically. I admired Dr. Green, with his bright smile, his light green eyes, and the tousle of sandy-colored curly hair. I liked that he wore a green sweater and jeans, something casual and cozy. His hair had been brushed back, the curls smoothed out, and some crossed in front of his eyes sloppily. Was he trying to appear a little younger?
He carried an overloaded black duffle bag, the zipper bulging a bit, not quite closing. I hadn’t brought that much with me to camp, and I suspected the guys had stuffed in more items I’d need here. “Yes,” I said. “That’s Dr.—I mean, that’s Sean Green.”
Carol raised an eyebrow. “What?”
Sean laughed a little awkwardly. “She likes to tease me since she knows I want to be a doctor.”
“Really?” Carol said, seeming to brighten a bit with interest.
He nodded. “I’m on an early graduation track. This is my last year.” He motioned to Victor’s BMW that was parked out in the driveway. “I’ve got her cot and sleeping bag and one more bag in my car,” he said. “I can bring it all in if you’d like.”
Carol puckered her lips a little and then smirked with an odd, curious look. “Of course. Actually, could you do me a favor and help Sang bring it up to her room?” She looked at me. “Put it all in the attic room, where it belongs.”
The tone made it sound like she was confirming it was okay if I stayed in that space.
At least I hoped.
Sean passed me the bag. It was pretty heavy, but I managed to hoist it onto my back. Carol held open the door to supervise while I started up the stairs.
“Hang on,” Jimmy said, running down the stairs with heavy thuds at every step. He reached for my bag and took it from me. “Let me get this one.”
“Show Jimmy where to put it, Sang,” Carol said.
I glanced once at Dr. Green. He seemed okay with this and waited a minute before heading back outside to get the rest from the car.
I took the stairs and climbed up behind Jimmy, nervous about being away from Carol and Dr. Green.
“What’s in here?” Jimmy asked and stopped at the top step to drop the bag onto the floor. “Did you bring an entire library?” He slid the pack toward the bedroom door with his foot.
I opened the door all the way, and he kick-shoved the bag inside. I grimaced. “Easy,” I said.
“Sorry. It felt like books. I should have asked...” He picked the bag up again to slide it over a bit. “Do we need to split up the closet?”
“I asked Carol if I can sleep in the attic space,” I said, feeling odd to have asked her about where to sleep in what was my old room. I motioned to the smaller door off to the side.
Jimmy looked over at the door and then gingerly foot-shoved the pack in that direction. “You sure?” he asked. “I could sleep in there if you’re nervous about sharing a room. But I swear, I wouldn’t hurt you or anything. I know you don’t know me...”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I kind of like it.” It wasn’t as good as sleeping at Nathan’s, but if I had to stay here for now, the attic was the best spot in the house.
I opened the attic door, and Jimmy slid the bag just inside.
As he did, there were low voices downstairs from Dr. Green and Carol. They spoke quietly for a few minutes, then there were footsteps on the stairs.
They appeared in the door, with Dr. Green holding the folded cot and a sleeping bag, along with my book bag, also filled almost to bursting.
Dr. Green took an almost too obvious look around the room, and I realized he was pretending he hadn’t been in here before. “I like the pink,” he said and showed me a grin. “It suits you.”
“I think it’s horrible,” Jimmy said with a smirk and then looked to his mom. “Maybe I should switch with Marie. Her room has beige carpet.”
She’d hate that, but would she be better than Jimmy? I wasn’t sure it mattered at this point. I blushed and motioned to the attic space. “Thanks for bringing my things,” I said to Dr. Green.
He winked at me and carried my stuff to the attic, kneeling to place it just inside the door.
“I was just asking your friend if he’d like to join us for dinner Saturday night,” Carol said, with an odd glow in her eyes and a curl to her lips. “Don’t you think that’d be nice, Sang?”
I nodded enthusiastically, filling with hope. This was so odd to me. I thought for sure after her speech downstairs that she’d be very strict.
In my old life, inviting someone over, especially to share a meal, would never have been allowed. It was odd to me.
Carol’s small smile didn’t waver, but her eyes darkened. “Let’s remember to speak when spoken to.”
I stood up straight, sucked in a quick breath. “Yes,” I said simply, and then my voice cracked at the end and I didn’t know what else to say.
Carol made a come-along gesture with her hand to Dr. Green. “Thank you for helping us. Come back at six thirty on Saturday. We eat at seven.”
She walked Dr. Green to the door, and I wasn’t sure I was supposed to follow, but I left the room when Jimmy went to the stairs to watch Dr. Green leave.
I didn’t want him to leave. Despite having won a small battle, I was still stuck here.
And how long would it be before Carol discovered the truth, and she did something drastic?
What plans did she have for me?
Small Spaces
––––––––
When Dr. Green was gone, Carol called up the stairs. “Sang, I want all of your things put away, and I want that attic space up to my standards of clean before you go to sleep tonight.” She pulled a cell phone from her pocket and pushed the button for it to light up her face. “We have dinner at seven. I need to get started. Jimmy, when you’re done with the bedroom, come help me. We’ll set up a proper chore rotation tomorrow.”
“On it,” Jimmy said, and he flashed a smile at me before he thundered down. He was so loud. He might have been almost my size, but he was made of iron. “I just need the vacuum.”
“At this rate, we’re going to need two,” Carol said. “And we need to get those boxes in the door tonight.”
Didn’t we have two now that she’d moved here? Or had she not brought hers? I listened as they moved through the house. The air tasted familiar to me as I was used to the space, but the house felt alive, more than any other time I’d ever been there.
It felt like Kota’s house when his mother and sister, and maybe even Nathan and a few other guys, were around.
Like a normal house, it was filled with sounds. Carol and Jimmy’s voices. The music Jimmy left running quietly. Marie shuffling around behind her door. My father, from the sound of it, was in his bedroom. It all blended together.
I tightened my lips and felt a surge of confusion inside me.
If only I was normal, this might not be so bad. All I could think of was that every second that passed with me standing at the top of the stairs, I was further away from the life I wanted.
My thoughts ended up on Lillian and her team. Somewhere out there in the world, Lily was with several husbands in a house hidden in the woods. They managed to stay together, in a house all to themselves, without having to skirt around anyone or ask permission.
Jealousy wedged through my heart. I wanted that life so much right now.