“Don’t mistake them for benevolent gods. Nature gives as much as it takes. Death is as much a part of nature as life. Have you ever seen a starving grizzly take down a deer? Or watched smallpox spread through a village? That is nature as much as the pretty flowers you enjoy sniffing.”
I bit my lip. “Fine. Nature is full of terrible things, but we don’t need to focus on it, do we? Is the world a terrible place or a beautiful place? The answer to that is a choice. Our lives and our souls are our stories. That’s where truth lies. And I want to tell the stories of love and happiness, not chaos and death.”
Adonis was studying me closely. “And what are your personal stories of love, Ruby?”
The word love on his tongue was a sensual caress that licked up my spine, but I pushed the temptation out of my mind. “Not the kind you’d want to hear. They’re not about seduction and pleasure, they’re about knowing someone so well they become a part of you.” A flicker in my mind, a pile of ash on the ground. I slammed my mental door down. “Before your archangel friends started destroying the world, I had that kind of love.”
“What was his name?”
I didn’t want to say Marcus’s name in front of him. In fact, I didn’t want to think about him at all, now. Because whenever I did, vicious images clawed at the back of my skull. Loss gnawed at me from the inside out. Those last, agonizing moments— I clamped my eyes shut. “I don’t want to think about this anymore. Like I said—our souls are our stories, and I want to focus on the good ones.”
“But when you cut out the blood and the death and all the monstrous things that scare you, you’ll start to forget the people you’ve lost. And you’ll lose yourself, too.”
My fists tightened. “Is that right?”
The breeze toyed with his dark hair, and his exotic scent wrapped around me. “There’s no light without darkness, no good without evil, no meaning without death. The seeds of destruction grow in the gardens of paradise.”
I scowled. “Did you just make that saying up? That is a super depressing aphorism.”
“It’s an old archangel saying.”
“I think I preferred it when you were just making vaguely suggestive comments about touching my thighs.”
His brow furrowed. “I’ve made no comments about touching your thighs. Would you like me to?”
He hadn’t? Flustered, I rose. At that moment, I realized that my bladder was completely full. “This has been a fascinating philosophical discussion, but I’m going to the other side of the bridge. Give me a few minutes.”
“Why are you going to the other side of the bridge?”
I frowned. “I need to pee, if you must know. And I’d rather not do it in front of one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Don’t come anywhere near there.”
“I’ll try to restrain myself.”
With my arms folded, I walked briskly over the river bank, heading for the stone bridge. My mind whirled with everything I’d learned today. Strangely, instead of being overwhelmed, I felt energized. Sure, things died, nature was harsh. I’d signed up as a partner of the horseman of death. But the Old Gods thrived all around me, and I had the sense that they wanted to lure me into their realm, that they’d be on my side when I needed them.
I snuck behind the bridge, shielding myself from Adonis’s view on the other side of a stony wall. After checking around me for any signs of life, I pulled down my leather leggings and underwear. I crouched on the sloping river’s edge, taking care not to pee on my own shoes or pants. The wind nipped at my bare bum.
When I’d finished, I quickly pulled up my pants. In the shadows of the bridge, I took a moment to readjust the holster on my thigh. As I did, a splashing sound in the water behind me turned my head.
My heart stopped. There, in the steely, frigid river waters, stood a black hound, the size of our horses. Mist whirled around him, chilling me to the bone. His eyes blazed like hot, red coals, and his lips curled back from his teeth in a terrifying snarl. I reached for the knife at my thigh.
As I did, the creature began to shift, twisting silently in the ghostly mist—until he transformed into three humanoid forms. They looked massive, their hulking bodies dripping with water.
One of them sniffed the air, water streaming from his dark hair in rivulets over his pale skin. Tight, black clothing clung to his body, and claws grew from his fingertips. “You look like a succubus,” he growled. “You smell even more delicious than a succubus, though. What are you?”
Since the Great Nightmare had begun, demons seemed to have free reign to terrorize smaller creatures as much as they wanted. My hand twitched at my knife. Should I simply stay and fight, or scream for Adonis at this point? I didn’t suppose these were friendly demons.
“What do you want?” I asked quietly.
“Food and fucking,” the three identical demons said in unison. “You showed us your naked arse, and it looked good to us.”
My stomach turned. Oh, gross.
“No thanks.” I took a step back, pointing my knife at them. “I don’t want to have to hurt—”
One of the demons silenced me with a sharp slash of his arm. I mean he literally silenced me, stealing my voice. I opened my mouth, trying to shout, and no sound came out. A jolt of fear gripped me.
As I readied my knife, one of the demons lunged for me. Heart pounding, I sharpened my senses and gripped the hilt. When the demon reached me, I was ready for him. I darted forward at the full speed of a fae, driving my knife between two of his ribs.
He clutched his chest, gurgling, and I let him slump to the ground. To my horror, two more enormous hounds emerged from the churning river waters, eyes blazing red.
In the mists, the black hounds transformed into more hulking, red-eyed demons.
“Bitch!” one of them hissed. “I will tear your flesh from your bones!”
I opened my mouth again to shout, but only a whisper wheezed from my throat. My legs shaking, I turned to run. I only got a few feet before rough hands were dragging me back over the rocks, into the water. I opened my mouth to scream for Adonis, and a rush of air puffed out.
I kicked one of them hard in the shins with the heel of my boot, and he loosened his grip on me just enough that I could wrench my knife arm free. With a clumsy gesture, I managed to nick his skin before more rough, powerful arms began dragging me under the water. One of them shoved my head into the icy river. Still, I clung on to that poison-tipped knife with everything in my power. I held my breath.
He released my head for just a moment, allowing me to suck in a frigid breath.
“You need to learn some manners,” one of the demons barked. “Give a blessing to the river god.” He rammed my head under the surface again.
I kicked and bucked fruitlessly. Air. Sweet, heavenly gods, I need air. After what seemed an eternity, my lungs started to burn, and panic ripped through my body.