“None at all, sugar.”
Deirdre’s scarlet lips turned down, and frown lines wrinkled her forehead, as though my obvious distrust greatly pained her. Even now, when it was just the two of us, she wasn’t breaking character, not even for a second. “I wish that you would give me a chance, a real chance. For Finnegan’s sake.”
I sneered at her. “Finn’s sake is the only reason—the only reason—you’re not dead yet. You should remember that and stop whatever scheme you’ve hatched against him. Before it’s too late—for you.”
Deirdre was completely unruffled by my threat, although her gaze slid past me for just a moment. I turned my head and saw Hugh Tucker, who was standing off by himself and checking his phone. He didn’t pay the slightest bit of attention to her, though. If Deirdre was expecting her assistant to come over and save her from me, she was going to be sorely disappointed.
She turned her full attention back to me. “I see that Fletcher made you as paranoid as he was.” She shook her head. “For that, I am truly sorry, Gin. I didn’t come back to Ashland to hurt you. I just want to get to know my son. That’s all. But I suppose that it’s only natural for you to feel jealous and threatened by little ole me. After all, you were supposedly the only family Finnegan had left, after you got his daddy killed.”
I gasped, more surprised than if she’d slapped me across the face. Shock, grief, and guilt surged through my body like electricity, burning every single part of me before charring my heart.
“Finnegan told me all about it,” Deirdre continued in an innocent voice, as if she were just making conversation and not talking about one of the worst moments of my life. “How some assassin job of yours went wrong and how Fletcher ended up tortured to death inside the Pork Pit because of it. That must be a heavy, heavy burden for you to bear. No wonder you’re so protective of Finnegan. You don’t want history to repeat itself, now, do you?”
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t say anything. All I could think of, all I could feel, was my own failure coursing through my veins like venom, reducing everything inside me to brittle ash. Just as it had the night I’d found Fletcher’s broken body in his own restaurant.
“But you don’t have to worry about me, Gin,” Deirdre went on, as if she couldn’t see the soul-crushing despair in my eyes. “Despite what you think, my intentions are good. All I want is to have a real relationship with Finnegan. I hope that you’ll finally give me that chance. Just think about it. Okay, honey?”
Despite all her hurtful words, I forced myself to nod at her and not let her realize how deeply she’d wounded me. “You’re right,” I said, my voice as empty and hollow as my heart was right now. “I haven’t treated you well. I apologize. I won’t stand in the way of you and Finn. Not anymore.”
“Oh, Gin, honey!” she squealed. “I’m so glad to finally hear you say that!”
Before I could stop her, Deirdre swooped me up into a tight hug, her hands pressing into my back, her body plastered against mine, her peony perfume snaking down my throat, making me want to vomit. Even through the thick velvet of my gown, I could feel how cold her hands were and the elemental Ice magic pulsing through her entire body. My chest and back went numb in an instant, the cold so swift, sudden, and intense that it brought tears to my eyes.
At least, that’s what I told myself was causing the waterworks. Not Deirdre’s words and especially not the ugly, ugly truth in them. That I was jealous of her and threatened by her. That I was the reason Finn didn’t have any family left.
That I was the reason Fletcher was dead.
“And what are two of my favorite ladies up to?” Finn called out, striding over to us.
Deirdre dropped her arms, stepped back, and gave me a conspiratorial wink. “Oh, nothing special. Just some long-awaited girl talk. What about you, handsome?”
The two of them started chatting, but I just stood there, my face frozen in a hollow smile, tears trapped in my eyes, and my gaze locked on Deirdre’s icicle-heart rune.
Cold, broken, and jagged—just like my own heart right now.
19
It took the better part of two minutes for the chill of Deirdre’s Ice magic to leave my body, but her words continued to sting my heart. I mumbled an excuse to her and Finn, but they’d already turned away to talk to some other folks, and neither one of them heard me.
Owen had finally extricated himself from his business associate, and he met me in the middle of the rotunda. He took one look at my face and frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Do you care if we leave now?”
“Are you sure? I thought you wanted to keep an eye on Finn.”
I looked over at Finn, who was still standing by Deirdre’s side, chatting with her latest round of admirers. “Don’t worry,” I said in a sad voice. “He won’t even realize that I’m gone.”