When he came back with her drink, she had worked herself into believing he was not genuine with his actions. She looked at him through narrow eyes when he sat opposite her. He looked a little surprised at her odd behavior.
“Here you go. Is everything all right?”
“I’m not sure,” Cynthia said. “I…You…” She made herself angrier by not being able to express herself the way she wanted to. He surprised her by leaning close to her and placing one hand very close to hers on the table. She didn’t pull her hand back. When the tips of their fingers touched, she noticed. It made her heart pound.
“Let me put your fears to rest as best as I can.” Duke Willingham’s voice was low and smooth. “You don’t know if you can trust me because of my reputation. You hope that I’m genuine, but you think I’m probably not because I’m used to charming all the ladies I can. Am I close?”
She sniffed quietly and nodded.
“I do have that reputation, Lady Cynthia. And the rumors that I am going to be disinherited soon are also true. This knowledge makes it even more difficult for women to trust me. But with you…I haven’t seen you before, my lady. I would like to ask you to take a ride with me tomorrow around the park, or go for a walk if the weather is nice. Please give me the opportunity to get to know you more and to show you that my behavior with you is genuine.”
Cynthia lowered her head, thinking hard. It wasn’t just her doubt that Daniel could be trusted. It was also the fact that, deep in her heart, she knew she never wanted to marry another man. She was happy alone and functioned best that way. She had always known it. She would never marry again.
Chapter Three
The sun breaking through her windows and shining its bright rays directly in her eyes was what woke Cynthia up the next morning. She instantly recalled the night before, pulled one of the pillows out from under head and placed it directly over her face.
“Lord, take me now!” she called out, half-jokingly. She smiled into the pillow and squeezed it against her face momentarily before throwing it off. She looked up at the wispy dark red drapes that hung over her canopy bed. “I don’t want to get married again,” She said out loud. “I don’t want to be dependent on a man or be responsible for a man. I don’t. But I don’t want to hurt the Duke’s feelings. He seems somewhat genuine. What do I do? Oh, what do I do?”
Was she now trying to convince even herself of these facts? She thought of when she and the Duke had parted ways the night before. They had spoken briefly once more when she had told him that she would agree to go on a ride with him the next day. He said he would pick her up at noon or half after. She did her grooming and got dressed on her own. She had let most of the servants go years before, choosing to save the money to live off of while she paid off her late husband’s debt.
As she went downstairs for some tea and biscuits, she thought about the Duke. He needed to marry within three months, or he would be disinherited. She needed to have the debts paid off so that she could keep her home and the money she had to live on. Perhaps they could come to some kind of arrangement.
The thought made her feel a little nauseous. She was taking something as sacred as marriage and making it into a business proposition. What did that say about her character?
She would find out more about him on the ride today. She would have to broach the subject at some point in time, but she wanted to make sure that his behavior the night before didn’t stem from having too much wine, brandy, scotch or whatever it was he had chosen to drink. Alcohol did seem to have an effect on how people behaved. She knew that with first-hand knowledge.
She ate a nice breakfast of eggs and biscuits and delighted that the tea was brewing just right. It was a nice way to start her day. She decided to eat on the veranda to watch as the sun finished rising up behind the mountain in the distance. She had kept a hand maiden, Jenny and the cook, Betty, so Jenny doubled as a kitchen maid, too, cleaning and serving Cynthia her meals. She’d known both ladies for years, and they had no problem juggling their work around so that everything was done and no one was overworked. Alice was the only other servant, and she typically cleaned the parts of the house that were rarely used, answered the door and ran errands.
There was no need for anyone else in the big mansion because now it was just her. Just the way she liked it. She had accepted her unique desire to be alone long ago and had gotten quite used to it. Loneliness only rarely came up in her mind and typically, she could ring Alexander, and he would be right there to keep her company.
Sooner or later, that’s going to end, she thought. In fact, probably sooner. He’s got to be getting married soon; I’m sure of it.
A trace of fear and hurt slid through her heart. She didn’t want to lose her friend though she knew that’s what happened in life. Changes were made whether they were wanted or not.