*****
There was nothing strange about my meeting the Duke for a stroll through the gardens, so I did not need to lie to Charlotte. I did, however, tell her that I was strolling the grounds alone, leaving my exact course vague just in case she decided to come and find me. I thought that unlikely anyway, seeing as she was quite taken up with the gossiping and minor politics of the servants of the Castle.
It had just passed noon when I walked into the garden, the scent of the glowers heightening my overall feeling on momentousness. I seated myself on a bench in a secluded corner and sat there for a time, looking hither and thither for the Duke. Soon enough, he emerged from behind one of the bushes and approached me. “My love,” he said, clasping my hands. He brought them to his lips and kissed them. “I dreamt of you this morning,” he went on, holding her hands tightly and leading her through the flowerbeds. “I was exhausted from out time together, so I collapsed into my bed when I returned to my chambers. I dreamt that you were with me, in my arms, and we were laying in a field looking up at the stars. I know I am no poet. I wish I could capture the beauty of it for you.”
“Do you like to look upon the stars?” I said. I had an interest in this myself, and had often wished for a tutor to help me learn their proper configurations.
“No in any academic sense,” Francis said, perhaps sensing my motivation. “I just find them peaceful.”
“They make me feel small,” I said. “But in a good way. I like to feel small in the presence of the stars. Many people hate it.”
“You are not many people, my lady,” the Duke said. “Shall we walk into the woods?”
I agreed, and we set our course for the wooded area that surrounds the Castle. I took his arm without it being proffered, and perhaps that is another “black mark” against me. But he did not object, and placed his hand over my arm, as though securing me in.
Soon we were in the woods, and it was a most reassuring experience. It was just the two of us and nature; all around we were surrounded my flowers and shrubbery and wildlife. Once, a squirrel darted across our path and looked up at us quizzically, tilting its little head. The Duke made to pick the creature up, but it fled before he had the chance. At length we found an overturned log, and having been walking for almost two hours we sat upon it to rest.
“I wish we could just sit here forever,” I said, as I was feeling sentimental. “Wouldn’t that be grand? We could just sit here, and the world would pass us by.”
“That would be a gift,” Francis agreed. “Far too often life is wasted in the preparing of it. This, right here...” He took my hands in his, and stared into my eyes. “This right here,” he went on, “is what life should be about. Not the nonsense that most people fill it with. Sarah, I wish I had known you sooner. We have a lot of catching up to do.”
“I agree,” I said. “But we need not rush, my love. We are both young yet.”
He touched my chin with his hand, and turned my face toward his, and then moved forward and touched my lips with his. I breathed in the scent of him, the tingle of his lips on mine even more inductive to a feeling of imbalance and intoxicating than the roses that serenaded our kissing. He moved his hands over my body; and I moved mine over his.
After our breath foray into passion, we resumed our walk. If there is a woman reading this tale, she will no doubt be thinking: “But were you not terrified that he would desert you and leave you ruined? Many a woman has been ruined in very similar circumstances! How could you be so foolish! How could you be so brash!” You are not wrong. I was brash, and perhaps I was foolish in my conduct, but the heart is not some hound to be leashed whenever one pleases. The pleasures of the body are trained pigeons to be called back at a moment’s notice once they have taken flight.
All of us, as persons with humane bodies, are subject to passion and love and closeness. I did not think of being deserted; I only thought of what I had with me now.
We had walked most of the day, and the two of us were tired.
Before we returned to the Castle, the Duke asked me if I would join him for dinner in his chambers the following night. I agreed – how could I not? – and the date was set.
*****