“If you knew that he was still angry and bitter about the loss, why would you bring someone else here to meet him? Such a long way? I don’t want to sound rude; I have enjoyed the last two days getting to know you both. But if you knew about his feelings, why did you surprise him in such a way?”
Liz looked back down at the potatoes before answering. She set down the knife and potato she held and went to sit next to Hettie at the table. She looked into Hettie’s eyes and licked her small lips. “It seems that I’ve manipulated this situation in a way I should not have. I am sorry for that. I was only trying to do what I thought would be good for my brother. I really didn’t expect him to react that way. I thought he was, at least, give you time to get to know him and him to know you.” She sighed. “I reckon, I also hoped it would be enough of a shock to bring him out of this mood he’s been in, show him that there are other beautiful women in the world for him to love.”
“Beauty is only seen on the surface,” Hettie said, sadly. “He has not seen what is underneath. He may be afraid to see who I am. He may be afraid of his feelings. Did she die in a brutal way?”
Liz nodded, her eyes dropping to the vegetables as if they were the most fascinating things she had ever seen. “He watched it happen. And then he shot the man who killed her.”
It was Hettie’s turn to sigh. “I see.”
A shock was probably not what James had needed. Perhaps gently easing someone new into his life would have been better than bringing her and dropping her on his front doorstep like an abandoned animal.
She shook off her feelings of resentment. She understood that Liz was just a meddling sister who cared too much for her brother, stewing in his misery and pain. She understood that James was still mourning and having a terrible time pulling out of it.
What she didn’t understand was how she was supposed to react to it. Her life had been turned upside down to travel across the country, and now her future was very much in question. She had prepared herself to be married. Was she supposed to start looking for someone else?
“I have been praying for someone to get through to James for so long now. I can’t bear to see him like that anymore.”
“What would you like for me to do, Liz?” Hettie asked. “Do you want me to try to do something to get through to him? Because I really don’t know how I’m going to do that.”
Liz shook her head and put one hand on Hettie’s arm. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do, Hettie. I just want you to be yourself. He will be around. I believe John was right when he said that James would calm down. He will give you a chance…if you still want one.”
Hettie thought about James. He was tall, handsome, strong, everything she admired in a man. Everything she could see, anyway. But she didn’t know his mind or his personality. All she had seen was anger and rage.
“When I was young,” Hettie said. “I watched my mother die.”
Liz sat back, her dark eyes wide open. She pushed one hand through some of the dark hair that had escaped the bun. “Oh my! I did not know that, Hettie!”
Hettie nodded. “I have not mentioned it before. It was…very bad. I was upset about it for a long time. So was my father. I was twelve years old; my brother was almost fifteen. My mother’s brother moved in with us after her death and helped my father care for us children. Mother was a wonderful and bright light in our lives. And my father mourned her for many years, too.”
Liz pressed her lips together, tears filling her eyes. “Did he ever find love again?”
Hettie shook her head. “He wasn’t looking.”
“Oh, my.” Liz looked devastated. The implication that James may never have intended to find another woman was becoming more of a reality for her.
Hettie understood what Liz was thinking by the distraught look on her face. She took the opportunity to put her own hand on Liz’s arm, squeezing gently. “But I have something else to say that might make you feel better.” Liz blinked and looked at her through thick tears. “With my father, I could see that he didn’t feel destined to be with another woman. I still hope that someday he will find another love. But he didn’t want to, and he didn’t stay in a deep depressive state for a long time. He chose not to find another woman himself, but he remained who he was. You say that James has changed.”
Liz nodded.
“I believe that our Lord does guide our steps, just like you do. And since we are only humans, we often react in typical human ways, wouldn’t you say?”
“Yes.” Liz’s voice was soft.
“I don’t think God brought me here to just be a caretaker for you and your little baby.” Hettie smiled at her new friend. “I have faith that He knows what He’s doing. If it was meant that I should be with James, I will be.”
“How do you plan to act toward him now? You’ve only seen his bad side and oh, Hettie, he can be such a charming man, so fun and laughing and happy.”