“What is it?”
“I think…I know we need to make a change in our lives. Do you agree with that?”
“Si.”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
“I have done something, and I want to tell you what I’ve done, but I don’t want you to be angry with me for it.”
Angelica immediately felt a sense of anxiety flow through her. She swallowed and looked at her friend closely. “What have you done?”
“I answered an ad from a man in the West requesting a bride.”
Angelica’s eyes opened wide, and she found herself short of breath. “What? You are leaving me? What will I do? Where…”
“No, no.” Lilly cut her off, patting her hand. “I answered it…for you…as you. Do you understand?”
Angelica looked terribly confused. “No.”
Lilly pulled in a deep breath and wrestled with her anxiety. “I…answered it from you, like I was you. I signed it with your name, but I gave you a more American last name so…you’d have more chance of being chosen if others responded to it.”
“What….what did you say? I am confusa.”
“Confused. I am sorry, Angelica. I know you will understand if I just have the right words to help you. We need to make a change. I wanted to make sure that you would be able to travel with me if the ad was answered. I didn’t want to leave you behind. So I answered the ad to make sure you would be chosen, and I will pay for my own way to wherever you go. I will go with you, and when you get there, I’ll be nearby, and I will make my own way.”
Angelica understood what Lilly had done and felt amazed, excited and worried all at the same time. “You…will make your own way?”
“I’ll be nearby. I can get a job housekeeping like I always do. And I have some money saved, more than I’ll need for the ticket, so I should be able to get by for a little while.”
“I am worried for you.”
“Don’t be. We’ll make it, you and me.”
“May I read the letter?”
“Oh!” Lilly felt silly for forgetting the letter. She pulled it from her skirt pocket and gave it to Angelica. “Do you think you’ll understand it?”
Angelica smiled wide. “I have been working hard on my English. I am better able to read than speak.”
“You are doing really well, Angel. You really are.”
Lilly already felt a sense of relief. Perhaps it was truly what God wanted. She prayed that she had made the right choice for both of them.
They were packed and ready when the carriage arrived to take them to the station. They were grateful to Miss Bess, who had provided her private driver and carriage for the girls to get to the station. They were nervously holding hands the entire way to the station. Both were tense and quiet, thinking about the fact that they were traveling to an unknown place to meet strangers who may or may not accept them the way they were.
Lilly was praying hard, sometimes with Angelica, that the man they would meet would understand their situation and not judge them harshly. Lilly had sent a telegraph that Angela would be arriving but made no mention of herself.
That fact weighed heavily on them both as they boarded the train and settled themselves in one of the cabins. What if they were both sent back? Or simply sent away? What if the man was not accommodating and wouldn’t accept them at the train station?
Fear and anxiety gave them both headaches. They sat silently as the train made its way across the country. They went to get food once and did so without a word. Other passengers watched them curiously. Lilly wondered if they made such a strange pair that people would feel the need to stare at them in such a way.
When they were back in their seats, Angelica whispered, “Lilly, let me see the letter again, please.”
Lilly handed it to her without a word. She’d kept it tucked in her pocket and often would touch it to make sure it was there. She wanted to have it to prove Angelica was the one he had sent for. She had already decided to let Angelica go to him alone and that she would go immediately into the building to retrieve a newspaper. She would need to find a boarding house right away.
She watched Angelica read through the letter again, her eyes focusing on the name at the beginning, “Angela.” It was only a different version of her own name and she felt she would be able to get used to it. She had worked hard on her English, harder than she ever had before, just in the last four days. She wanted to make a good impression.
Please, God, help me be what he wants. She prayed, folding the letter and clutching it tightly in her hand. “I will give him the letter, Lilly,” she said.
Lilly pulled in a deep breath and pressed her lips together. She felt shaky and faint. Every mile took her closer to being more alone than ever before. She did not regret letting Angelica take the place of the bride for the man. But she hadn’t really thought about how alone it would leave her. Alone 4000 miles from anywhere she’d ever known.
A sense of dread covered her.