The best few days of my life.
I took a picture of it in my mind, because I knew I would never see it again.
I held my breath and turned the key until my piece-of-crap car started. Then I slowly drove around the circular drive and pulled onto the street.
I wiped my eyes and headed back to the apartment.
The rent was paid for one more week. I still had the key.
I’d go see Brad at the convenience store tomorrow and beg for my old job back.
Throw in your cards, Amy Lynne.
Fate has once again reshuffled the deck.
CHAPTER NINETEEN: Jackson
I put Lizzie to bed and watched her fall asleep. It was the greatest therapy there was. The weight of the world could be bearing down upon me, and all I had to do was watch those beautiful eyes close and listen to her breathing to know everything was going to be okay.
I left Lizzie’s door open a crack and then went quietly down the hall and tapped on Amy Lynne’s door. I still had no idea what her outburst at dinner was about or what had triggered it, but I had every intention of finding out.
The old me, the Jackson Ritter before Lizzie was born, would have kicked down the fucking door and demanded to know what the fuck was wrong with her. And if her answer wasn’t good enough, I would have tossed her out on her sweet ass.
God knows, me and Bethany had our knockdown, drag out fights over the years. We’d yell and scream, she’d slap me, I’d throw things, then we’d walk around pissed off at each other for a week. Neither of us ever apologized. We just sort of got over it. One day we weren’t speaking, the next day we were.
But the new me, Lizzie’s father, the responsible adult who took deep breaths and counted to ten when the urge to explode came, knew that things had to be handled much more calmly and rationally with Amy Lynne.
She was not my wife.
She was… fuck, I didn’t know what she was, I just knew that I couldn’t let whatever issues she was dealing with affect Lizzie.
I was a big boy.
I could handle whatever she threw at me, but she was here for Lizzie. I had to keep telling myself that. It wasn’t about me…
Or maybe it was.
You shouldn’t have fucked her, the little voice in my head whispered. This is all your fault. She was fine until you shoved your cock into her. Get in there and make it right, you fucking asshole. Do it for Lizzie.
Lizzie was the one I had to put first. She loved Amy Lynne and it was clear that Amy Lynne loved her. They lit up around each other. I couldn’t imagine having to find another nanny who would take care of Lizzie the way Amy Lynne did.
From my perspective, I’d only known Amy Lynne for a few days, but the time we’d spent together had been pretty amazing. And I’m not just talking about the sex, which was right up there on top of my “Best Fuck I’ve Ever Had” list.
I’m talking about just sitting and talking around the table, or playing with Lizzie on the carpet. Amy Lynne was easy to talk to and easy to be around. And she sparked something deep inside of me that had been dormant for a long time. I was writing again. And I knew it was because of her. Maybe I was thinking selfishly again, but I couldn’t help but wonder if I would continue to write if Amy Lynne suddenly wasn’t around.
I knocked lightly on her door. “Amy Lynne? Can we talk?” I heard no sound coming from the other side of the door. “Amy Lynne? Are you in there?”
I turned the knob and pushed the door open. The room was cold and empty, as it had been for the last two years.
The bed was made. The closet was empty.
I stepped into the bathroom and turned on the light.
There wasn’t even a water stain on the sink.
She was gone, almost as if she’d never been there.
Lizzie and I were alone again.
CHAPTER TWENTY: Amy Lynne
I was stocking the beer cooler in the back of the store—again—when I heard the chime over the front door sound.
I shook off the feeling of déjà vu and came up the aisle without giving much thought as to who might be standing there.
I didn’t give much thought to anything these days.
I was pretty much just going through the motions, trying to get by one day at a time.
I had managed to keep my crappy apartment and was back to taking the online bookkeeping classes at night. It had been three days since I’d seen Jackson and Lizzie. I didn’t figure I’d ever see either of them again.
That thought broke my heart, but when you were someone like me, you couldn’t expect too much joy in life.
I came around the end of the aisle and felt my heart drop into my stomach.
Standing at the register with a smile on his face was Randy Beck.