“But you still slept with Axel, right?” she asked.
“I really don’t know what else to tell you, Joyce. It just kinda happened,” I said, trying my best to reassure my friend that I wasn’t some kind of pervert.
“Okay, that’s seriously creepy. This guy is going to be your stepbrother tomorrow, and somehow you’ve already slept with him?”
I paused for a minute and just exhaled into the phone.
“Okay, I know that you disapprove, but he’s gorgeous, and he is amazing in other ways as well. What am I supposed to do?” I asked, pleading for an answer that I knew she didn’t have.
“Hellen, you’re just getting out of a relationship with Mark. I’m sure this is all stemming from that. Maybe you just need to get out of there and back to some kind of normal life,” she said.
“But I don’t want that. I want to spend more time with him. I want to sneak off and go for a ride with him, maybe end it with something fun for the both of us,” I said.
“After tomorrow, that won’t be possible.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I know.”
“Then end it now, before it becomes more of a problem,” she said.
I knew she was right, but I just didn’t want to do anything about it. I wanted to just let things go and see where it took me, like the open road had made me feel the other day. I wanted that freedom, and now it was being taken away.
“Why is it that I find a great guy and it turns out my mother is marrying his dad?” I asked.
“That’s quite a mess.”
“All right,” I said, “I’m going to take care of this.”
“Good. Then come home. We are all missing you at the hospital! See you soon, Hellen!”
I clicked off the phone and lay back in bed. My mother would be marrying the father of the one man I was interested in right now.
I wondered why I was really that interested in him. He was gorgeous, yes, but he had about as much personality as a belt sander.
I really didn’t want to think about it right this minute. It was getting late, and I had to be up early to help with the wedding.
I would have to make the decision tomorrow.
8.
The next morning I met everyone at the small chapel after a long shower and plenty of time spent deep in thought. I wanted to ask my mother for advice, but I knew what she’d say. There were things you just shouldn’t tell your mother, and I was pretty sure this was near the top of the list.
I went about helping them decorate the chapel with some streamers and simple decorations. After about an hour the only thing that could be heard outside was a steady stream of motorcycles buzzing about.
I popped my head out the door and joined a couple of the other bridesmaids as they watched the club circle the chapel. This would be the third time my mother had married at this church, and I hoped it would be the last.
Then I saw Duke and Axel riding down the road, both of them wearing well-fitted suits. Duke looked funny in his, with his heavy stomach pushing the pants down a little lower than they should be. Axel, on the other hand, wore his well.
It was hard to take my eyes off him. I thought he could tell, because he shot me more than a few looks while people lined up for wedding photos.
My mother looked fantastic in her dress. She was long past the days of wearing white, but the color still suited her. I wondered if I would look the same in a similar dress. But, at the rate things were going in my life, that might never happen.
I did my best to keep my eyes down during the wedding, but it was hard to not look out at the gathered crowd of bikers. The bruised and bandaged bunch that Axel had roughed up sat toward the back. I tried to avoid their gazes the most but found it hard to do.
I still couldn’t reconcile my feelings about how Axel had handled the situation just a couple days ago. I wondered if it had been good of him to handle those men in such a way.
When my mom and Duke finally said “I do,” I felt a wave of relief. My brain cleared enough for me to realize what I had to do, and it had to be done today. I needed to tell Axel that I couldn’t see him anymore.
I found him by the snack table during the reception, talking with a few of his buddies. He made me swoon, seeing him in his suit. At the same time, he looked out of place wearing something so formal amidst the band of leather-clad bikers.
“Axel,” I said.
He shooed his friends away, and I slowly walked up beside him.
“It’s over, Hellen,” he said.
I wasn’t expecting him to say anything so quickly.
“I’m going to be the next leader of this club,” he added.
“While I agree with you, how would that have anything to do with us?”
“Your mom is my stepmom. If I showed up anywhere with you nearby, I would get a lot of looks. People would start asking questions that I don’t think I could answer,” he said.
I nodded. At least we were both on the same page, but for severely different reasons. Still, I needed to let him know my own feelings.
“Thank you,” I said.