My stomach plummeted. “Grace?” Bowden.
Mia nodded, already looking down the hallway for Parker. “Yeah. She’s watching One Tree Hill, so just go in and sit next to her. They had her watching cartoons for a while, but then I read this news story on this guy who was in a waking coma for like twelve years, and when he came out of it he was so pissed about them making him watch Barney. So I figured she loves One Tree Hill, right?”
My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.
“Oh, come on.” She pulled me through the door, where a frail blond girl sat semi-reclined on her hospital bed. “Sam, this is Grace. Grace, this is Sam. Grayson brought her home for the weekend.”
“Stop saying that,” I whispered, my eyes locked onto Grace’s vacant stare in the direction of the flat-screen.
“Please. Grace would love that Grayson has found someone. She wouldn’t want him to live his life like he has been.” Mia’s hand stroked over Grace’s cheek. “She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. She would want him to be happy.” Then she turned to me with a wide smile. “You make him happy, Sam. Therefore, Grace would love you. I’ll be right back.”
She left. I froze, staring at the empty doorframe.
I should leave. I can’t be here. But I couldn’t just leave, either. I couldn’t walk out and pretend that Grace didn’t matter, even if the situation brought a whole new meaning to awkward.
Turning slowly, I tried to swallow, my throat suddenly dry from the hospital air. Pretend she’s not…you know…comatose. The chair. Right. I could sit for a little bit.
The armchair next to her bed was surprisingly comfy, except for the lump under my butt. I reached under and pulled out a black hoodie. I didn’t even have to look at it to know whose it was because it smelled like Grayson. Just like that was his backpack leaned against the wall.
I brought the hoodie to my nose and inhaled the scent a little more. Need slammed through me—the need to hold him, heal him, touch him. “I wish I could figure him out,” I said to no one…to Grace, really. “He has these walls no human can climb. Or maybe I’m not the human he needs.” Pain streaked from my heart, radiating through the rest of my limbs as though I’d physically been stabbed. Knowing I wasn’t the one he needed was one thing, but saying it out loud was brutal, crushing. I folded the hoodie neatly and laid it across my lap before I looked over at Grace. “I think he needs you. I see that now, the way he comes here all the time.”
Her mouth hung slightly slack as her head rested on the pillows. “I feel like a lunatic talking to you like this. You’re his girlfriend, and I’m his…” I dropped my head into my hands. “God, I don’t even know what I am. The girl he kisses because he can’t kiss you? No. I know that’s not true. He’s not the kind of man to do that to someone.
“He’s… He’s Grayson. He doesn’t only save me; he inspires me to save myself, to change. He lets me in long enough for me to start falling for him, to want this life I have no right to ask for, and then he shuts me out. And it’s not like he pushes me away. He’s too good a guy to do that. He disappears into himself, this little world where I can’t follow. When he does that, I can see him, touch him, but part of me wonders if he’s really here…with you. If he’ll ever really be mine.” Could I truly fall for him, knowing that I’d only have half of him, if that? There was a piece of Grayson that would always belong here, with Grace, but how big of a piece?