Beyond What is Given

“Damn. Why didn’t you tell me?”


She sagged. “Because I thought I deserved it? If getting into college with an assault on my discipline report is my penance, then fine. I deserve it. But when she started adding cheating, and plagiarism, and failing grades? That’s where I draw the line. I shouldn’t be held accountable for things I didn’t do.”

“You shouldn’t have to suffer. Not for any of this.”

“Well, that’s where I set this right. I have to go back to Colorado. I have to help those other girls, and myself. I deserve a future. And so do they.”

Pride swelled in my chest. She wouldn’t fight for herself, but she’d don battle armor and face down her biggest fears if someone else was being bullied. “You deserve the best future.” With me. “What about classes here?”

“With the damage to campus, they’re allowing a full refund of tuition, but my English prof said I could finish by correspondence. There are good things about the age of Skype.”

I grasped. “Like long-distance relationships?”

Sam avoided my eyes. “You chose North Carolina.”

The weight of responsibility was getting so damn heavy. “My family is there. My dad’s boatworks, my sisters, my mother. Parker is a damn mess, and I struck an idiotic deal with my dad that Joey could take over the shop as long as I did, too. I can’t break that promise. She’d be devastated.”

“I know.” Her eyes met mine, and what I saw there threatened to cripple me. Love shone through, as tangible as anything I’d ever run my fingers through. Love, acceptance, and regret all in one soulful gaze. “One of the things I love about you is your loyalty, your sense of duty.”

“It took me away from you after you’d been hurt.”

“Yeah, it did. I’m not new to this lifestyle, Grayson. It’s all I’ve ever known. Mom left a lot. I had babysitters, nannies, random friends that I lived with for a year or so during deployments. It wasn’t until I met Ember that I had another family unit to latch on to. It sucked as a kid, but I never doubted that my mother was made of magical, incredible things to be able to dedicate herself like that to an ideal. I resented a lot about our life, but never her. And I didn’t resent you when I woke up and you weren’t there.”

“I resented it.”

She leaned forward and set her hand on my knee. “I know. You have that same loyalty in you that my mom does. That same unwavering dedication. To the military, to your family. That’s why I understand that you need to go back to North Carolina while you can, because you don’t know where you’ll be stationed next. I get it, and if I tried to change that about you, then you wouldn’t be…you. I would never ask you to be someone you’re not.”

My hand covered hers, regret washing away every other emotion. “If I’d chosen Colorado?”

Her eyes widened. “But you didn’t, and it’s too late to change it now. Everything is in North Carolina for you. And now that Grace is awake…”

“She has nothing to do with this. I swear it to you. Yes, she’s my best friend, and that’s probably not going to change, but I am in love with you, Sam. Not Grace.”

She shook her head slowly and blinked back tears. “She has everything to do with this, Grayson. She’s in everything about you. You prayed for a miracle. I’m doing my best to give you that. Go back to North Carolina. See how things happen with Grace, or if they happen at all. I need to go back to Colorado and ‘pull my shit together,’ as this great guy once told me. We want different things.” Her voice broke and took me with it.

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