Mary turned her bright smile on Garrison.
Garrison looked miserable as he stared back at her. “I’m sorry,” he said again. Then he took her hand.
The broken handcuff gleamed. “What’s that?” Mary asked curiously.
Jane spun away and paced toward the bar. Her angry mutters drifted back to Aidan.
Aidan took Mary’s wrist, and he yanked away the silver that still lingered on her—on both wrists. “It was nothing.”
Mary nodded. Garrison curled a hand carefully around her waist and gave her a little push toward the door.
“Mary…” Aidan called, stopping her. “If you ever see that vampire again, you’re to immediately come to Hell’s Gate. I will protect you, understand?”
“Yes.”
Then she was gone. Garrison led her outside and the door closed behind them.
He exhaled slowly.
Paris looked over at him, raising an eyebrow. Just one. The one elevated brow was Paris speak for…What the hell do you want me to do now?
Aidan jerked his head toward the stairs.
Paris got the message. He cleared out fast. Jane just stood there, her hands flat on the bar, her tense back to Aidan.
He waited until Paris’s footsteps had faded away, then he stalked closer to her. “I let the human make the choice.”
“Bullshit.” Her head was bowed. She never glanced his way. “The woman was traumatized. She was in no shape to make any choice.”
“She didn’t want the memory of her attack. You think she’s the first? Humans don’t want to remember monsters. They have enough stress just in their normal lives. Dealing with the fact that werewolves and vamps are real—that these monsters are walking the streets—humans can’t deal with that shit.” He was adamant on that fact. “It’s easier for them to forget. Easier for them to get on with their lives and be happy again. If she’d remembered, she just would have been afraid. Every damn day and night.” He waited a bit. Then Aidan said, “Like you are.”
Jane spun to confront him. “I’m not afraid.”
“Yes, sweetheart, you are. You think I can’t see it? You think I can’t smell it?” And he hated the scent of her fear. “It’s been there, all along.”
“Stop it.”
“When you wake up at night, screaming because the memories won’t stop for you…because you see the vampire killing your family again and again…do you know what I wish?” He wasn’t going to hold back. Not on this. Not now. Not with her.
“What? What do you wish?” Her words were angry, tight.
“I wish that I could make you forget.”
She sucked in a sharp breath.
“I wish I could make you forget every second of pain you’ve ever had. I wish you’d just be happy.” It was the stark truth. Take the terrible memory away from her? Control her mind enough to do that? Yes, he was bastard enough to want just that.
The silence in the room was thick. Heavy. Jane would see that he was right. She’d understand the choice he’d made and—
“I am afraid.”
There, yes, she understood—
“But that’s okay.” Her chin notched higher. “I can live with the fear. I can live with the anger. I can live with all the emotions that sometimes feel like they are ripping me apart—and you know why?”
“Jane—”
“Because they are mine. My emotions. And my memories. Yes, I see that fucking bastard killing my family. I feel the rage beat at me. The helplessness. I hate those memories.”
She understood. She did. She—
“But before she died, my mother said she loved me.”
Aidan blinked at her.
“My father…stepfather…no, dammit, he will always just be my dad to me…He looked at me. Even when that bastard was torturing him, even when the vamp was killing him, my dad looked at me. He smiled and told me that I would be all right.” A tear leaked down her cheek.
“I can’t stand it when you cry.” It tore him apart. That’s why I want to take all of Jane’s pain away. Her pain guts me. “It’s better to be without the pain, better to—”
“It’s better to have the memories. The fear and the pain—everything. It is better to have them. Better for me to remember that even at the end, even with all the terrible shit that was happening to them, my parents still loved me. They died loving me. I have that, Aidan. That memory, and it gets me through the days when I question everything around me. I wouldn’t trade that love, not for anything. I wouldn’t wish the memory away, I would never want to forget.” Her eyes gleamed as she stared up at him. “Just because you have a power, it doesn’t mean you should use it.”
His chest burned. “Jane, that woman didn’t want to remember the attack.”
“You didn’t want to expose your pack. Pack is first.” Jane nodded. “That is something I seem to have trouble remembering.” She pushed away from the bar. “Get Paris to send a copy of your video footage to me at the station. I have a case to work.”
He caught her arm. “Jane, don’t leave.”