He moves behind me, leaning in close and resting his hands lightly on my hips. I can smell that cologne he wears, that sunny scent of citrus and sandalwood, can feel the heat of his body through his clothes, and I forget where I am momentarily. I even forget what I’m doing. All I can think about is kissing him.
Which is crazy, considering I’m surrounded by geriatrics in leisure suits.
“Are you ready?” he asks quietly, his voice low in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
“As ever,” I say, more confidently than I actually feel. I try to ignore the tumbling feeling in my chest that happens whenever I’m around him now. I pull my arm back and open my fingers, the ball sailing through the air as I let go.
“Not bad,” Jake smirks. “Now, let me show you how a real player gets it done.”
We play a few games, until the cupcake table starts calling my name too loudly to resist. I leave Jake soundly whipping the competition, and go indulge myself with the finest frosting the city has to offer.
“Oh my god, these are so good,” I have to moan aloud through a mouthful.
Julia reaches in for some more champagne. “Where are they from? Oh yeah, Sugar Mama’s,” she reads from the box. “They’re the best. I send two dozen to my publisher every year for the holidays, and I’m not saying that’s why they promote me as lead title, but . . . you do the math.”
I laugh. “Sneaky, I like it.” I take another bite, and survey the park. It’s a lovely spring day, and for the first time in weeks, I feel like I’m finally relaxing. My gaze goes to Jake, jostling with Hank to play his turn, and feel a weird . . . warmth bubbling through me. Not the red-hot heat I usually feel in his presence, like I’m about to combust, and/or tear my clothes off. No, this is something different. Almost . . . like feelings.
Feelings.
Fuck, I’ve gone and caught cooties off the biggest playboy in New York!
“So you and Jake seem to be friendlier these days,” Julia says like she’s reading my mind. “I hear you’ve been spending more time together.”
“For work,” I reply, trying to sound casual. “The opening’s next week.”
“Uh huh.” Julia’s smirk says she can see right through me. “Well, good luck. With work.” She winks. “I find that the most stubborn, arrogant projects can sometimes turn out to be the most rewarding.”
“Like Nate?” I ask before I can stop myself. “Whoops, sorry.”
She grins. “Like Nate. Believe it or not, when we met, we couldn’t stand each other. But I guess what they say is true, there’s a thin line between love and hate.”
“Usually, it’s a barbed wire border,” I mutter.
She laughs. “Guys like Nate and Jake like to talk the talk,” she says, leaning in confidentially. “But underneath all that charm, they’re actually decent guys. Surprising, I know. Anyway, it’s not my place,” she says, holding up her hands. “But don’t write him off just yet. I know he’s really sorry about that whole Dapper bounty thing.”
And just like that, my warm fuzzies drift away. “I wish I could just forget that ever happened.” I scowl. “Or better yet, turn back the clock and forget my whole stupid strike.”
“Hey, at least you can call it off anytime you like, right?” She hands me another cupcake. “I mean, nothing’s forcing you to go without.”
Nate waves over from the bocce lawn, gesturing her over. “That’s my cue,” she grins, and goes to rejoin the group.
But her words linger. Nothing’s stopping me . . .
Except my pride. And reputation. And all the girls inspired not to settle because of me.
I sigh. God, is there any way out of this mess? As long as this bounty is hanging over my, ahem, maidenhead, I can’t trust any guy to be interested for the right reasons.
Especially Jake.
I watch him, smiling and joking with his family. The more I get to know him, the more I can see, Julia’s right: there IS a decent guy lurking under his perfect vintage suits and smooth pick-up lines. He takes care of me when I’m sick, whisks me off for fun adventures, hell, he even knows to bring me coffee the way I like it. What more do you want in a man?
And then there’s the fact that the chemistry is so hot it’s like I’m wandering the desert in July. And Jake’s the cool glass of water with condensation dripping down the rim, begging for me to lick him—
Wait a minute, where was I?
Oh yeah, my impossible catch-22. Fucked if I do, fucked if I don’t.
Jake smiles at me from across the lawn, and it’s like a ray of sunshine. Cheesy similes? I really am in trouble now.
Suddenly, I need to get out of here. I grab the nearest person and tell them to send my apologies, then I grab my stuff and bolt. But not before stuffing two more magical cupcakes in my purse, of course. I may be deep in the midst of emotional turmoil, but I still have my priorities, thank you very much.
But as I head home, my feelings keep whirling—and no amount of frosting will fill the ache I have in my chest. Because the truth is, I can’t deny it anymore: I want to be with Jake. I want him so much, I can hardly stand it. And not just for a night, but the whole his-n-her-robes, annoying pet names, nights watching Netflix, and hungover Sunday brunches deal. The big kahuna.
Love.
Just the word breaks me out in a cold sweat. How can I be falling for a guy when I still can’t trust him? It’s like I’m teetering on the edge of a massive canyon, and one wrong step could send me crashing onto the rocks below.
If I let myself fall, if I let these feelings go any further, then what happens if it turns out he only wanted me for the challenge? The thrill of the chase. But how can I know until it’s too late?
A text buzzes in my pocket. Jake.
Sorry you had to leave – don’t tell me the cupcakes got you.
No, just work. Thanks!
I tuck my phone away and sigh. One way or another, I need to figure out how to break this strike—without breaking my own damn heart.
29
Lizzie
The next days are a blur of last-minute errands, checking things off my endless to-do list, and basically running around like a lunatic. I manage to get most everything done before the big opening—mostly because Jake seems to be AWOL. I should be happy. I mean, this is what I wanted, right? Temptation keeping out of sight, out of mind. Except, Jake isn’t staying out of my head. Not at all. Every time I venture into the break room, my heart skitters in my chest, hoping against hope that when I look around, he’ll be there, grumbling about how horrible the coffee is. Or, better yet, holding out a box of doughnuts and flashing me that irresistible smile.
By the time I trudge home on Thursday night, I’m more than ready for a glass of wine and my pajamas, and my Skype date to vent with Jess.
“Hey, babe.” Jess appears on screen. The kids are nowhere in sight, and she’s got her LuluLemon pants and matching black crop top on, so she must be either on her way to yoga class or just getting back.
“Namaste,” I greet her. “Are you enlightened yet, oh wise one?”
“Not even close,” she sighs, sitting down at the kitchen table. “But I can, however, do a wicked crow pose now, so there’s that.”