Best of My Love (Fool's Gold, #20)

Shelby walked down the short hallway to the main salon of the bridal shop. There was a dais with a half circle of floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Madeline helped her up, then moved behind her, straightening the dress.

Shelby stared at herself. Madeline had been right. The dress didn’t overwhelm her. The lace was exquisite and the fitted lines were perfect for her. Funny how until this moment she’d never once pictured herself getting married. Oh, she thought about being married, but not the actual wedding itself. Unlike other little girls, that hadn’t been a game she’d played.

The why of it swirled in her head. She didn’t want to think about it too much because then she would know what was wrong. And as soon as she knew, she would have to either fix it or accept that she was a coward.

“What do you think?” Madeline asked.

“The dress is beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful. There’s a difference. The dress is simply there to reflect you. Tell me what you see.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I’m a fraud,” she whispered.

“Why?”

Her mouth moved, but no words came out. The truth was so elusive. Right there but when she tried to grab it... She drew in a breath.

“I’m so scared.”

“Of Aidan?”

“No. Of surrendering who and what I am. I want to be in control.”

“Of what?”

“Everything.”

They both faced the mirror and their eyes met in the glass.

“It was all me,” she continued, wiping away tears. “From the start. It was my idea to fix myself by learning to trust a man. I’m the one who picked Aidan, then convinced him. I set the rules, the boundaries. I even decided when to break them and become lovers.”

“Because you needed to be in control?”

Shelby nodded. “It made me feel safe.”

“Why did Aidan go along with it?”

A good question. Why did he? “Because he wanted to change, too. At first. Later, because...because he cares about me. Because he doesn’t have anything to prove. Because he trusts me.”

“Quack,” Madeline said quietly.

Shelby laughed, then sobbed. She took a second to catch her breath. “You’re saying he loves me.”

“Yes. He loves you.”

“You know this for sure, or you’re guessing?”

“I’m pretty sure.”

Shelby stared at her reflection. The bride staring back at her didn’t deserve the beautiful dress or the wonderful man. She was still living in fear. Still hiding.

“What if I can’t do it? What if I simply can’t hand over my heart?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

What would it mean to not be with Aidan? To never see him again, never touch him or...

The pain was sharp and instant. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. She needed him. Wanted him. Loved him.

He’d been right, all those weeks ago. When he’d helped her see that the real pain of her childhood didn’t come from her father’s fists, but from the reality that her mother had stood by while it happened. Aidan wouldn’t do that, and neither would she. As her brother had told her, she wasn’t the type of mother who would let her children be abused. She would break the cycle.

She’d come so far. Everything she claimed to want was right there. All she had to do was take a single step of faith.

“You know, this is all going to go very badly if it turns out he’s not in love with me,” she said, her voice trembling as she spoke. “I’m going to feel pretty foolish.”

“Won’t it be better to know? You love him, Shelby. Don’t you want to say it to him? At least once?”

“I do.”

They looked at each other and started to laugh.

Shelby pressed her hands to her stomach. “While I love the dress...” she began.

“It’s not the one. I know. But I thought trying it on would shock you and it seems to have, so yay, me.”

Shelby laughed again. She turned and hugged her friend. “You’re very good to me.”

“And you’re good to me. Now go claim your man.”

“I’ve never claimed a man before.”

“Then isn’t it about time?”

It took Shelby a few minutes to change back into her street clothes. As she walked home, she thought about what she was going to say when she finally spoke to Aidan. The words were a jumble in her head. Well, she would have time. She had to go to the office and talk to Fay first. Get his schedule. Once she knew he was in town, she would call him and—

She turned the corner only to see Aidan and Charlie sitting on her front porch. The bichon saw her and raced toward her. She dropped to her knees and held out her arms. Charlie threw himself at her. She hugged him tight.

“Hey, there, my man,” she whispered against his soft fur. “I’ve missed you so much.”

He swiped her face with puppy kisses. She hung on for another second before standing and looking at Aidan.

He’d come to his feet, as well. They stared at each other.

“How are you doing?” he asked.