“Need gas?” the voice booms through a speaker.
No, I just wanted to stop by and say hi, my busy mind thinks. I wonder why I don’t just move to another country. People here are such simpletons. His brother is probably one of the cops assigned to protect Mia. Equally effective. So stupid, all of them.
“Yes. Pump 1. Forty dollars,” I say. I’ve located the after-hours pay drawer. I pull out my wallet as he slides the drawer open. I place two crisp twenty-dollar bills in the drawer and he closes the hatch.
I wonder if he feels safe, locked inside a fully lit glass building. He shouldn’t.
“Pump 1 is on,” he says. His voice is impatient, as if he has better things to do than supply gas to late-night drivers. But that is his only function. I shrug him off. I’m the one in a hurry, I remind my tense body.
Turning my back to the thug, I return to my car and begin pumping gas. I’m now standing in a pool of light, exposed to anyone who drives by on the country road. But who would be looking for me now? Buck and Mia have handled everything, they think. Meanwhile, Buck is watering the backyard with blood and Mia is cowering with a knife. The authorities either know I’ve left Lakeside, or they think I’ve checked into the inn. Or, they think I’m lurking somewhere in the darkness, ready to strike again. No matter what, they are wrong. All of that extra police security is totally unnecessary. I’m here, pumping gas at a desolate country gas station. I’m a tired man just hoping to make it home to his boys soon. Sunrise isn’t until about 6:45 a.m. I have plenty of time.
My boys. The joys of my life. Mikey and Sam will be so happy to see me. I might even sneak into their bedrooms, give them each a fatherly hug. They loved having me take them to school this morning, begged me to take them to the lake, too. Their disappointed little faces haunt me a bit right now. I’ll make it up to them. Maybe a trip to Disneyland? Gretchen would like that, too. Maybe I’ll bundle them up and put them in the car and take them to her apartment tonight. It would be such an adventure, way better than Lakeside. We could get on the road before sunrise. I smile at the thought. The four of us, Gretchen, the boys and I, headed to the happiest place on earth. The boys would be thrilled.
The pump stops. I pull out the nozzle, screw the gas cap on and hurry into the car. As I pull out of the bright white light of the gas station and back onto the country road, I wonder if it’s too late to call Gretchen. She has called me four times since I left on my trip with Mia. That’s not like her. For my part, I’ve been declining her calls. She knows better than to leave me a voice mail. It’s against our rules.
As I pull onto the interstate, I feel a flood of relief wash over me. I’ve escaped the country bumpkins. No one has followed me. I sigh, relaxing. I know it’s late, but I call Gretchen. The phone rings loudly over my car’s Bluetooth system. One ring, two rings.
“Paul?” Gretchen says. She sounds sleepy. I wish I were in bed next to her.
“Hi, my love,” I say. It’s important to have different terms of endearment, I’ve learned. Mia is honey. Gretchen is my love. Caroline, well, she is now the bitch. Before, she was babe. Lois was sweetie, until she wasn’t. Buck talked to Lois, my busy mind recalls. I need to deal with Buck. I should have killed him in the backyard of my cottage earlier. Soon I’ll finish him off. He thinks he’s so cool, so tough. He’s not. Did you notice how fast I took him down? He dropped like a rock. All talk, no substance.
“Why didn’t you take any of my calls today?” Gretchen asks.
“You know why, love. I had to be with Mia,” I say. “But I’ve got some good news. I’ve left her. Everything you’ve dreamed of for the two of us can come true now.”
“Paul, some man came to see me early this morning. He said his name was Buck. Said it was urgent that we talk. So I let him in,” she says. Her voice is sounding awake now. Urgent. I should have taken her calls. “He wanted to talk about you. He... Paul, he said such ugly things. And he had photos of a woman’s face all beaten up. Said you did it.”
Fine. The bastard tried to convince her I’m evil. I will convince her otherwise.
“Oh, love, I’m so sorry. Buck is crazy. The guy is totally jealous of me. He’s our neighbor up at the lake, and he is not right in the head. It seems he’s developed a fixation with me. He actually wants to ruin my life with lies and innuendos. Please don’t think twice about it. You know I would never hurt a woman. No one loves women more than I do. No one loves you better, right?” I say. My hands grip the steering wheel once more. I want to turn around, drive back to the lake and kill Buck, even though I’m not that kind of guy. It takes everything inside of me to keep heading home to my boys and Gretchen. “This is just some cruel game Buck is playing. He’s twisted. You don’t actually believe him, do you, love?”
“I don’t want to, Paul,” she says. Now her voice is shaky. I imagine her sitting in bed, knees pulled up under chin. She’s naked. Maybe I’ll drive there first, pick her up and bring her to my house. “I just don’t know what to believe.”
What I cannot believe is how Buck and Mia have messed with my life. They will not get away with this. As much as I want to go comfort Gretchen, and I may still, I realize the true power play is back at home, asleep in their beds waiting for their beloved dad to come home.
“I know you’re frightened, my love,” I say in a soothing voice while checking my rearview mirror. I pass a semitruck, but no one else is on the road. No one is following me, I’m certain. “It was reprehensible of Buck to involve you in his ridiculous vendetta. He’s a sick man, he needs help. How about this, love? I’ll bring over breakfast in the morning, we’ll talk all of this through. You’ve been dreaming about going to the beach together and now we can. Sound good?”
“I need to think,” she says quietly. “I need some space. I’ll call you in a few days. Don’t call me, Paul. Okay?” She is crying. I hear a big sob as she hangs up on me.
My mistress just hung up on me. How is this happening? Somehow, in the space of one day, my wife leaves me for another man and my mistress tells me not to call her. This is all Buck’s fault. I should have shoved the pen in his neck or stomped on his trachea in the garden. I want to scream or throw something at someone but I’m driving and that would be ridiculous. I need to calm down and focus. I’m sweating and I crank up the air-conditioning. I tip my neck from side to side until it cracks satisfyingly. I am still in charge of the situation, or I will be as soon as I am home with the boys. Maybe we’ll leave for Disneyland tomorrow? If Gretchen changes her mind, she can join us.