He sat down beside me and sighed heavily. “That’s what I feel like.”
“My name’s Bennett,” I said, offering my hand.
“I’m Dan.” He shook my hand and leaned his elbows on his knees.
“You think it might help to talk about it?” I asked, holding my breath as I waited for his answer.
After a minute, he answered. “It’s mostly school. There’s a group of guys whose mission in life is to humiliate me.”
“That’s rough. They sound like a bunch of dicks.”
He cracked a small smile. “Yeah. And my mom drinks a lot. It’s hell at home or hell at school.”
“Is there anything that feels like a break from all of it?”
He shrugged. “Music, I guess.”
“Yeah? What do you like?”
“Punk.”
“Cool. What grade are you in?”
“Sophomore.”
I remembered myself at that age. Pimply and awkward as hell. Desperate to get laid for the first time. But hockey had kept me focused and guaranteed me friends.
“What do you think you might like to do after high school?” I asked Dan.
Another shrug. “I’m not good at anything.”
“Maybe you just haven’t figured out what it is you’re good at yet.”
A middle-aged guy with a dark beard walked out the front door of the Suicide Prevention Center.
“Excuse me,” he said to us, “I’m the director of the SPC, and I meant to say hey earlier. I’m Vaughn Shelton. I hear you’re our new volunteer.”
“Yes, sir.” I shook his hand and looked at Dan. “This is Dan. He was stopping by because he’s having a hard time with some stuff and we’re just talking.”
“Hey, Dan,” Vaughn said. “Why don’t you come on in for a bit? Get out of the cold?”
Dan looked at me.
“Might as well,” I said. “You don’t have to stay long.”
“Okay.” Dan stood up and glanced down at me. “Hey, thanks for . . . you know.”
“I’ll be back tomorrow if you want to talk some more.”
He nodded and went inside with Vaughn. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Having someone’s life in my hands was a big responsibility. I’d chosen this organization for my community service because I respected the work they did. But maybe I’d taken on too much. I could have picked up trash beside the highway and not had to worry I’d say the wrong thing to an emotionally fragile person.
I got in my car and drove straight to Charlotte’s, my plan to go to the store seeming unimportant now. I unlocked the door with my key and saw her standing by her kitchen table sorting through a stack of mail.
“Hey,” I said, closing the door.
“Hey.” She smiled and my whole body relaxed. Her blue eyes were bright and curls spilled from her loose bun. Damn, I’d missed her bad.
I covered the distance between us in a few big steps and pulled her into my arms. Her soft moan as she wrapped her arms around my neck made my cock twitch to attention in my pants.
“I missed you,” she said, her fingers brushing over my neck and into my hair.
“Missed you, too.” I buried my face in her hair and held on to her tightly.
“You okay?”
“I started my community service today.”
“Oh, that’s right. How’d it go?”
She tried to pull away to look at me, but I wouldn’t move my arms.
“Bennett,” she said, rubbing her fingers over my hair, “what’s wrong, honey?”
I sighed heavily, wishing I could hold the truth inside forever. But like Dan, I needed to let it out. I’d waited long enough to share this with Charlotte.
Charlotte
“I need to tell you something,” Bennett said, loosening his hold on me.
“What is it?” My brow furrowed with worry.
“Let’s sit down.”
We both took a seat at the kitchen table and he sighed deeply. A chord of panic had been struck deep inside me. Was there someone else? Maybe he was still upset about our fight the other day. I hated the ominous feeling that settled over me.
“You know the girlfriend I mentioned, Kelly?”
I nodded. “I remember.”
“She was from my hometown and we went to school together but didn’t start dating until we were in college. And then our junior year . . . something terrible happened.”
His eyes clouded with sadness. I took his hand in mine and squeezed, hoping to reassure him.
“Kelly was driving home from working at an internship one day and . . .” He buried his face in his hands. “Fuck. This is hard to talk about.”
“Take your time,” I said softly. “It’s okay.”
He folded his arms on the table and continued. “There was a little girl, a three-year-old. She lived on a busy street and there were cars parked up and down it. She ran after her ball into the street and Kelly . . . she didn’t see her . . .”
I closed my eyes and covered my mouth with a hand, a sick feeling twisting in my stomach.
“She was killed instantly,” Bennett said, the corners of his mouth turning down.