I scoffed. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I need. I’ll assault an NHL player who happens to be my coach’s best friend.”
“Bah.” Niko waved a hand. “Let’s get back on the ice, then. What gets you going? Makes you want to kick some ass?”
“The only ass I’d like to kick right now is my own.”
He threw back his head and laughed. “Why?”
“You really want to know?”
“Fuck yeah. Hit me.”
I sat down on the bench. The arena was empty other than the two of us. Might as well get it off my chest.
“I got a woman pregnant during a one-night stand, not realizing it was my teammate’s younger sister. My best friend. He hates me now. That’s how I fucked up my wrist—fighting with him. And Charlotte, his sister . . . I’m crazy about her. But I’m torn up over Liam. I get why he’s pissed, but damn, am I really the worst guy in the world for his sister? What if this affects our play? What if he jumps my ass instead of an opponent’s? He’s still seeing red. I don’t want him losing his spot on the team over this.”
Niko sat down next to me and nodded. “Yeah, that’s some heavy stuff. You’ve been good to his sister?”
“I have. And I will.”
“Then I’m not following. Why do you want to kick your own ass over this? Sounds like you need to kick his.”
I shrugged. “Maybe he’s right and I’m not good enough for her. I make shit money, and I’m on the road all the time.”
“So let that drive you. My fire came from a desire to do better for my family, too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. My parents.” He looked away from me, staring at the wide expanse of ice in front of us. “You know, my wife and I are trying to get pregnant, but we haven’t been able to. You tell anyone that and I’ll slice off your sac.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“We both want a baby really bad. She feels inadequate and I do, too. We’ve had to lean on each other a lot. I’m pretty sure based on how much I want a kid that if I had one, like you will soon, I’d do anything for him.”
“I feel that way, man. I really do.”
“So dig hard and find that burn to be their hero. This is your future, you know? All of you.”
I nodded.
“The harder you hit, the harder you’re fighting for your dream, man. That’s how I see it. It isn’t just technical skill in this game. You’ve got to have something in you that you can feed off of.”
“I never thought of it that way. I guess I need to channel my feelings better.”
“Exactly. Often this game comes down to who wants it the most.”
A new sense of calm settled over me. It was laced with an underlying energy I now knew exactly where to focus. I turned to Niko with a wry smile.
“My mechanics are good, like you said. I knew that. Figured this was really about letting Liam cool off after yesterday. But I think Orion sent me here for this talk, didn’t he?”
“He’s a smart dude. He knows you’re right on the edge of making it.”
I took in a deep breath and let it out. “All right.”
Niko clapped me on the shoulder. “We’re gonna go back out there and you’re gonna kick my ass, got it?”
“Yep. Thanks, man.”
“You got it.”
“Hey,” I said. He turned to me. “It’ll happen for you and your wife, one way or another. Keep the faith.”
He smiled, his eyes glassy. “Thanks.”
I slid over the wall and back onto the ice, picturing Charlotte holding our bundled infant in her arms. No more worrying about what might not happen in my career. It was time to just make it fucking happen.
Charlotte
A pile of clean, unfolded laundry blocked most of the couch in Bennett and Liam’s apartment. Liam swept it all to the floor.
“Have a seat,” he said.
“Is that Bennett’s laundry?”
“Well, let’s see . . . there’s only one slob living here and it’s him, so yeah.”
I sighed, sat down and reached for a T-shirt from the pile, folding it, and setting it next to me. I folded in silence for a couple minutes.
“You come to clean up after Bennett?” Liam asked.
“You know why I came.”
“To chew my ass out?”
I shook my head. “Much as I wanted to yesterday, no. I came to make peace.”
“There’s always been peace between us, Charlie. It’s Bennett I’ve got issues with.”
“Why?” I picked up a pair of Bennett’s boxer briefs to fold and Liam rolled his eyes.
“You know why. He treated you like a meaningless whore.”
“Liam,” I said in a scolding tone, “how do you know that?”
“He knocked you up upon meeting you.”
I shook my head. “You want to hear a tough truth? He wanted to leave that night. It was me who persuaded him to come home with me and stay.”
“Just stop right there,” Liam said, cringing. “I don’t want the details.”
“We were both irresponsible that night.”
“Did he know?” There was vulnerability in my brother’s eyes when they met mine. “Did he know that night that you’re my sister?”
“No. I wanted a one-night thing, and to be honest, I wasn’t interested in details like what he did for a living.”
“Jesus, Charlie.” Liam ran a hand through his blond hair. “Do you know how fucking stupid that was? He could have had any number of STDs.”