“Victor!” Niklas breaks that silence; his hand juts out, pointing at Izabel. “Tell her she’s not going.”
“Again,” Gustavsson says, “I agree with Niklas. Mexico is the last place Izabel should ever go alone. What happened to the plan with Nora going along?”
“I-I care about you, Izabel,” Woodard speaks up, “and that’s why I agree w-with Niklas and Fredrik.”
The entire time, while everyone else is going back and forth about all the reasons why Izabel should not go, she never once takes her eyes from mine. In this moment, all I see is her, all that I hear are her thoughts conveyed through that steadfast look in her eyes, and the last conversation we had the night I na?vely asked her to marry me.
Finally, I look up, breaking our gaze, and I announce amid the carrying voices, “Izabel will go to Mexico,” and the same voices cease to express another word. “She is right—she is the best candidate for the job. She will go on her own terms, make all of the decisions, and if anyone intervenes in any way whatsoever, the repercussions will be…unfortunate.”
Gustavsson appears to think on it a moment, and then nods, gracefully as always stepping out of the way of the situation.
Woodard is too much of a coward to step out of his comfort zone surrounded by his technology to ever consider setting one foot out in the field—he would never interfere.
Niklas looks as though he would very much like to cave my nose into the back of my skull. He clenches both of his fists, then reaches into the back pocket of his jeans and retrieves a pack of cigarettes. After putting a cigarette between his lips and pocketing the pack, he lights up. After a long drag, smoke swirling around his head when he pulls the cigarette from his mouth, he looks at no one in particular and says with the shrug of his shoulders, “Whatever. I’m outta here. Call me when you fuckers have your shit together,” and then he exits the room, a trail of cigarette smoke in his wake.
Sending Izabel to Mexico is the last thing I want, but if I try to stand in her way like I have in the past, I know I will never see her again. I have to let her do this. And I have to let her do it her way.
Besides, the truth is that I have absolutely no doubts about her ability to pull off this mission. She is the best candidate for the job, not only because of her experience, but because of her skill. Izabel is more than capable of doing it, and every part of me tells me so. She has eluded death enough that, between the two of us, I believe that she is the immortal one. Yes. She will go back to Mexico, and she will suffer unimaginable trials, but she will live. Of this I have every confidence.
But when it came to the Mexico mission, it never was the possibility of death that I agonized over. It was everything else that, like Izabel said, not only could happen to her, but will happen to her, that put the fear into my heart. Will I be able to look at Izabel the same way I look at her now after she returns? Will her being violated by other men, touched, kissed, even possibly raped, change the way I feel about her, especially with the knowledge of her going into this knowing the risks and the consequences? Yes. And no. Yes, I will be able to look at her the same. And no, whatever happens to her will not change the way I feel about her. I love her too much.
“Izabel,” Gustavsson says with disappointment, “even if you manage to live through this, what happens when someone realizes who you are?” He turns to me now. “From what I understand, you think Vonnegut was one of the wealthy men who purchased girls from Javier Ruiz?”
“That’s a good point,” Woodard says. “If the bounty on Izabel’s head is as much as your sister told you, l-logic tells us that a lot of people know w-what she looks like.”
“No,” Izabel answers, “that’s not necessarily the case where I’m going. It’s not like there’ll be Wanted posters nailed to light poles on every city block in this place. And besides, back to Mexico, back into the belly of the same beast I escaped from, is the last place anyone, whether they’re looking for me or not, would ever expect to find me.”
I step forward. “To answer your question,” I say to Gustavsson, “yes, we have reason to believe that the real Vonnegut was one of those wealthy men that Izabel saw when she was Javier’s prisoner.”
“So that raises a lot of questions,” Gustavsson says, “as to just how much business Vonnegut did with the Ruiz Family.”
I nod. “It does indeed.”
“If it’s true,” Izabel reminds us. “We’re taking what Nora told us on good faith—and I believe her—but whether she was telling the truth or not, in the end, the information could be bad. Only way to know for sure is to go and find out. And that’s what I’m going to do.”
No one says anything for a moment.
“So then this is it,” Gustavsson speaks up; he opens his hands to the room. “We leave this building today, all heading in different directions—it feels so…final.”