Behind Closed Doors

‘I’ll explain everything when we’re in Thailand.’


‘Why can’t you tell me now? Please, Jack, tell me what’s wrong.’

‘In Thailand.’

I wanted to tell him that I didn’t particularly feel like going to Thailand with him in the mood he was in, but I took comfort in the fact that, once there, I would at least have an explanation as to why our marriage had got off to such a bad start. Because his mood seemed to be related to some sort of problem at work, I couldn’t help feeling apprehensive that it might be something I’d be seeing a lot more of in the future. I was so busy working out how I would adjust to being married to a man I hadn’t known existed that it was a while before I realised we were heading straight out to the airport.

‘What about Millie?’ I cried. ‘We’re meant to be going to see her!’

‘I’m afraid it’s too late,’ he said. ‘We should have turned off miles back.’

‘But I told you in my message that we had to stop by the hospital!’

‘Well, as you didn’t mention anything about it when you got into the car, I thought you’d changed your mind. Besides, we don’t really have time.’

‘But our flight isn’t until this afternoon!’

‘It leaves at three, which means we have to check in at twelve.’

‘But I promised her! I told Millie I’d go and see her this morning!’

‘When? When did you tell her that? I don’t remember.’

‘When she was in the ambulance!’

‘She was unconscious, so she’ll hardly remember.’

‘That’s not the point! Anyway, I told Mum that we’d call in and she’ll have told Millie.’

‘If you had checked with me first I would have told you that it wouldn’t be possible.’

‘How could I check with you when you weren’t there! Jack, please turn back, we have plenty of time. The checkin may open at twelve but it won’t close until much later. I won’t stay long, I promise, I just want to see her.’

‘It’s out of the question, I’m afraid.’

‘Why are you being like this?’ I cried. ‘You know what Millie’s like, you know she won’t understand if I don’t turn up.’

‘Then phone her and explain. Phone her and tell her you got it wrong.’

Frustrated, I burst into tears. ‘I didn’t get it wrong,’ I sobbed. ‘We have plenty of time, you know we do!’

He had never seen me cry before and, although I felt ashamed at resorting to tears, I hoped he would realise how unreasonable he was being. So when he swung the car off the road, taking an exit to a service station at the last minute, I wiped my eyes and blew my nose, thinking he was going to turn back.

‘Thank you,’ I said as he brought the car to a standstill.

Switching off the ignition, he turned towards me. ‘Listen to me, Grace, and listen carefully. If you want to go and see Millie, you can. You can get out of the car now and take a taxi to the hospital. But I’m going on to the airport and if you choose to go to the hospital, you won’t be coming to Thailand with me. It’s as simple as that.’

I shook my head, making fresh tears cascade down my cheeks. ‘I don’t believe you,’ I wept. ‘You wouldn’t make me choose between you and Millie, not if you loved me.’

‘But that is exactly what I’m doing.’

‘How can I choose?’ I looked at him in anguish. ‘I love both of you!’

He gave a sigh of irritation. ‘It saddens me that you’re making such a song and dance about it. Surely it should be simple. Are you really going to throw away our marriage simply because I refuse to turn back to see Millie when we’re already well on the way to the airport? Is that how little I mean to you?’

‘No, of course not,’ I gulped, swallowing down my tears.

‘And don’t you think I’ve been very generous in the past, never complaining about the amount of time we have to spend with Millie each weekend?’

‘Yes,’ I said miserably.

He nodded, satisfied. ‘So what’s it to be, Grace? The airport or the hospital? Your husband or your sister?’ He paused a moment. ‘Me, or Millie?’

‘You, Jack,’ I said quietly. ‘You, of course.’

‘Good. Now, where’s your passport?’

‘In my bag,’ I mumbled.

‘Can I have it?’

I picked up my bag, took out my passport and handed it to him.

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