Mark. Joe. A tsunami of unwelcome emotions quickly laced her pleasure, the ring on her finger suddenly warm and heavy. Things with Mark had started off hot, too. She’d thought him the answer to all her dreams, until life with him became a nightmare. What if Alec was another mirage like Mark? Alec wasn’t uncomplicated. He had layers of difficult history and a father who hated her.
Irrational panic took root when she couldn’t shake the cautionary whispers. If anything, the whispers got louder, causing her eyes to sting. When an errant teardrop trickled over Alec’s thumb, he pulled away.
She mutely kept her clutch on his clothing, their labored breathing the only sound in the office.
“You’re crying.” His eyes reflected shame and concern. “I’m sorry. God, Colby. I thought . . . I must be stupid-tired.” Without hesitation, he yanked her dress back into place and zipped it up.
“Alec,” she said, but he jerked back as if burned on the stove, forcing her to release his jacket.
He shook his head. “Blame it on the champagne.”
“Alec, don’t apologize. I’m sorry.” She hugged herself. “It’s not your fault.”
Alec could barely breathe, making it difficult to focus.
Weeks of seeing her every day had churned his desire. Like a drug, it made him hallucinate invitation in her eyes. His reckless heart had abandoned caution and now lay lifeless in his chest. “It’s been an emotional night. I should’ve known better. And I broke your rule.”
“Screw the rule. I wanted you to kiss me. It’s been so long since I even had that thought, let alone acted on it. It was perfect until I got overwhelmed. Seems I’m not ready for anything more personal than friendship, no matter how much I thought—wished, even—I was.”
Her cheeks were pink, and he knew that degree of honesty probably wiped out her last bit of energy. He could hardly believe his ears. She’d wanted him to kiss her. She wanted him. Colby Cabot-Baxter liked him.
But it didn’t matter.
She remained painfully outside his reach. By her own admission, she wasn’t over Mark yet. Unlike other young widows, Colby not only mourned the loss, but she had to cope with the horrible memory of watching his suicide. That tragedy Alec might’ve prevented if only he’d have said something . . . to anyone.
Shame rushed in. Guilt. Anger at himself for thinking for one second he deserved a happy ending with her when her marriage only ended because of him.
“Let’s pretend it never happened.” He forced a light grin, hoping to dispel all awkwardness. “Like the other time.”
He wanted to scoop those last words back until he noticed Colby smile. “So you do remember that embarrassing day. I really forced you into an awkward position. Maybe I am more like my mom than I think.”
Alec could admit that he’d been her more-than-willing victim, but then she’d know that he’d pined for her all these years. No reason to make working together and being friends even more difficult. Neither of them needed a more difficult relationship in their lives. “It wasn’t so terrible.”
“Faint praise.”
“Now whose ego needs stroking?”
She grinned. “I’m glad we can tease each other about this, Alec. I wouldn’t want to hurt you or make things more awkward. I’ve been counting on this place to help me, but I didn’t count on this.” She gestured between them. “Our friendship has been an unexpected but wonderful bonus.”
“I’m glad, considering it didn’t start off on the best footing.”
“Which is why I’d hate myself for doing anything to damage it.”
“You haven’t.” If he stood there talking about it any longer, he might do or say something stupid. Time to regroup. He took the photograph she’d given him. “Thanks, again, for this. How about you let me walk you to your car?”
“Okay.” She grabbed her purse and shut off the lights.
Together they meandered through the darkened dining room in silence. Moonlight filtered through the plate-glass doors, casting blue-black light around them that enabled everything that had transpired between them to lurk in the shadows.
When they reached her car, he pecked her on the forehead. She hugged him, squeezing his waist for an extra second or two. “Thanks, Alec.”
“Drive safely.”
She looked up, and he could tell she had something to say but chose not to. Now he’d forever wonder what that was.
He repressed the “fuck it all” urge to kiss her again. To mimic guys like his brother and Mark, who’d felt entitled to take what they wanted and seized any opening to do so. But he’d never been like them. When it came to relationships, Alec always waited—for acknowledgment, respect, and love.
“Good night.” Colby slipped into the driver’s seat and started the car.
“See you later.” He stood back and watched her pull away, down the long driveway that led through the woods back to the main road.
She liked him, finally. He’d been infatuated with her for years. He wanted to surround her with his affection so she’d never feel alone. Todd had brought roses, but Todd didn’t know her. Alec could do better. He would do better. Flowers. Videos. Visits with Leslie. Hell, he’d continue praising his staff every day to make her happy, no matter how detrimental he considered that practice.
Spinning around, he caught a view of the moonbeam on the lake. It looked like the kind of thing one should make a wish upon, so he did. Of course, few of his wishes had ever come true, but he never gave up hope.
Chapter Nine
“You had no right to slur your brother.” Alec’s father slammed the newspaper onto the kitchen table, causing his mother to flinch.
Seeing his mom recoil made every muscle in Alec’s body tighten. She deserved better. For her sake, Alec strove to make peace with his father.
“I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to upset you or smear Joe’s memory.” Alec rubbed his forehead. Melissa’s article about his return and A CertainTea had garnered a slew of new reservations for the upcoming grand opening but set him back a step from his personal goals with his family. “I was talking about my perspective. My regrets.”
“Well, add this interview to that growing list,” he scoffed. “This and working for Colby, for chrissakes.”
Working for Colby might be a mistake, but not because of Joe. Alec had relived their recent kiss every ten minutes in the days since it happened. Of course, they’d both pretended to set it aside and move on, but he suspected she hadn’t found that any easier to do than he had. There were feelings there that wanted to be explored.
Too bad timing and truth stood between them. That and Alec’s father, who’d be doubly enraged to learn Alec wanted to get closer to Colby.
“Frank, settle down.” Alec’s mother took her glass to the sink and stared out the window, shoulders rounded. She’d always daydreamed in that spot, although Alec suspected she’d had more waking nightmares than daydreams these past two years. With her back to them, she said, “Stop yelling at Alec.”