Before I Ever Met You

My mother erupts into laughter, the kind that comes from hate.

“Love? Oh cut the crap, you don’t know what love is. What you’re doing is because you’re tired of being second best, of never measuring up. You’re trying to take what was rightfully Juliet’s, you won’t even let her rest in peace.”

I’m so temped to tell her the truth about her, about who she really was. It takes everything I have in me to protect Juliet.

“Mom, please, I knew you wouldn’t understand so I didn’t tell you but…it’s the truth. We’re in love and it has nothing to do with Juliet, only that we had to make sure that we were being respectful and –”

“Bullshit!” she yells. “Respectful? You’re only showing how pathetic you are. I expected more from you Veronica, I really did. I never expected you to be Juliet, no one could be, she was one of a kind. But I did think you’d at least grow up to a be a woman with class and honor and dignity and you have none of those values. None. You’re an opportunist. You take what’s not even yours.”

“You’re calling me an opportunist?” I sneer. I feel like I’m about to lose my fucking mind. “You, of all, people are the biggest opportunist of them all. You’re a fucking politician! You based your whole life on lies, starting with how you pretended to love us. You never loved me, admit it! You just pretended to because it’s what you were told.”

“You don’t know anything about love, Veronica. If you did, you wouldn’t be doing this to her, to us. To me. How do you think it will look for you to marry your sister’s widower? We’ll be the laughing-stock of Chicago. I’ll lose more than you will, is that what you want for me? Is it?”

I can only shake my head. I can’t believe it and yet I can.

“Their marriage was over when she died,” I tell her. Everything inside me is seconds from breaking. “And far before that.”

“Because he’s a liar and cheat. I can see now why the two of you would start up together, he had no respect for Juliet either.”

“Well then fuck you, mom,” I tell her. I am all rage and I am rising. “You know what? I don’t give a shit what you think. I don’t care if Chicago has a problem with it, or if you lose power, or whatever the fuck you think will happen, which probably won’t because no one cares about you as much as you think they do. This is my life and I am choosing him and he is choosing me and that’s all I can say about it. I’m going to marry him regardless, without your blessing or your permission, and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do or say to stop me. So tell me that I’m weak and he’s a liar and that we’re both horrible people, I really don’t care. He has my back and that’s more than I can say for my own damn family.”

I’m breathing hard from that, the blood is pounding in my head, pressing on my temples. The line goes black with silence.

“I will not be made a fool of Veronica,” she says. “I have worked too long and too hard in this industry to be the laughing stock. I will not lose people’s respect for me and my family just because you’ve lost respect for your family and yourself.”

“Then I’m sorry. It is what it is.”

She exhales loudly. “I’m sorry too. Because I liked that place and it’s going to be a shame that we’re forced to sell it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well I no longer want a man like Logan deciding how our investments go. It’s obvious now his judgement can’t be trusted. We can’t always make the best investment decisions, but if we sell now, I’m sure we’ll make some money on it.”

“You can’t…you can’t just sell. Logan is a shareholder.”

“He doesn’t own the majority of the hotel, dear. If he did, I wouldn’t be keeping tabs, now would I? When he first met Juliet, he was getting the hotel off the ground. We swooped in and came up with the remaining funds, money he used to purchase Moonwater. That’s never been a secret.”

“But…it’s his! It’s all his! It’s his flesh and blood. It’s his passion. It’s his job. Maybe you gave some money, but without Logan, you would have nothing at all.”

“That was his decision. It kept him and Juliet busy, but now that’s over.”

I’m starting to shake. This has to be a bad dream, a nightmare, and I can’t wake up.

“Mom,” I whisper. “You can’t do that. There has to be some legal way about it. It’s still his company, his business, his hotel. You can’t just decide to sell. He has to approve.”

She gives off a small, merciless laugh. “Oh, you’re so na?ve. I thought I raised you better than that. Let me make this clear, Veronica Locke.” Her tone becomes as hard as flint. “If you don’t call off this marriage, call of this silly relationship, your father and I will sell what’s rightfully ours. Logan will get a small chunk of change, plus whatever he invested. Which, by the way, wasn’t much. And that’s that. Frankly, this has gone on for too long anyway – we should have done this as soon as Juliet died.”

No. No. There has to be some way out of here.

There’s so much to say. I want to scream. Cry. Protest. Swear. I want to revel in my anger, I want her to feel what I’m feeling. I want to beg for forgiveness. I want to plead for approval. I want to be given a chance.

But the only thing I can manage to ask is, “Why do you hate me so much, mom?” My voice is broken, ruined, weak. “What did I ever do to you?”

The silence says everything and nothing at all.

“Give him back his ring, Veronica. Do the right thing. Even if you don’t care about Juliet’s honor or my reputation or your self-respect, even if you don’t give a shit about any of that, think about Logan. Do you really want to be the one to ruin all that he’s worked for? Do you want to be the one to crush his legacy? The man has been through so much. Do you want to make him lose it all?”

“Fuck you, mom,” I tell her and hang up the phone.

But the act seems worthless. Because she’s already won. She’s right.

My fingers go to the ring, the beautiful ring, and twirl it around, trying to gather strength from it, trying not to cry. Could I be the one to call it off? Do I tell Logan what just happened? Do we try and find a solution together?

Or would that ruin everything anyway? I know Logan. He loves me. He’s stubborn. And he’s not going to let me go without a fight. If I tell him what we’re faced with, he’ll give up the hotel. He’ll let my parents take back Moonwater and he’ll lose all that he’s worked for in order to keep me.

Can I live with myself if that happens? Can I marry him knowing I ruined his life, that I made him lose it all?

Or do I get up and walk away to save him.

Do I tell Logan the biggest lie I’ve ever told and break his heart in order to keep this piece of paradise for him?

I sit down on the couch, numb.

This is going to hurt beyond belief.





20