Before I Ever Met You

“Coffee?” Kate asks, appearing back in front of me with a mug in hand. “Wasn’t sure if you drank it or not but then I remember you’re a chef. It’s in your blood.”


I manage a smile and tell her thanks as I take the mug, not bothering to correct her that I’m not quite a chef yet. I hope to god that whatever moaning I was doing in my dream I wasn’t doing in real life. Jesus. What the hell was I doing having a sex dream about Logan anyway? I can practically still feel his breath at my back, the way he made me feel deep down in my soul, like I was finally submitting to something that had been denied to me for so long.

I shake my head.

“Jetlagged?” Kate asks. I look up to see her frowning at me.

“Oh. Well, yeah,” I tell her, busying myself with a sip of my coffee. At least she knows how to make a decent pot. “What time is it?”

“Six thirty,” she says. “Normally I wouldn’t expect you to get up when I get up but I remember the first week I was here, dealing with the time change. My eyes were open like bing! Every morning at four am. It was great actually. Got in some morning surfs. There’s nothing better.”

“You surf?” I ask her, folding my legs under me into a cross-legged position, the damn sheets sticking to my skin.

She gives me a look of disbelief. “Yes. It’s kind of what you do here.”

“Is that why you moved here?”

She seems to think that over, tilting her head until her dark hair falls half across her face. “I thought it was. I honestly just wanted to live in paradise. I thought coming here would make my life a million times better.”

“And did it?”

She gives me a look I can’t read. “Maybe. A job is a job. A home is a home. Why not have both those things in a place like this?” She nods to the ocean.

“And love?”

She snorts, rolling her eyes. “You are far too deep for this time of day. No one comes to Hawaii looking for love, got it? Love of life, maybe. But men? Nah. I had better luck in San Francisco, believe it or not. It might not seem like it right now but an island is a small place. Just 60,000 people live on this island and there’s no escape. Pretty sure I’ve dated everyone there is.”

Now it’s my turn to let out a snort. “Really?”

She manages a wry grin. “It feels like it, anyway.”

“Anyone from here? Moonwater?”

She shrugs and turns away, walking back to the kitchen. “Maybe.”

Maybe. Right. Well, I’m going to go ahead and assume that Charlie was one of them, just because the two of them are both very attractive young people with a similar approach to the opposite sex.

Then a terrible thought strikes me.

Logan.

Kate is so damn pretty, it would be extremely easy to imagine her and Logan together. Fuck. What if she was the other woman?

I try not to think about it. I have to tell myself that there would be no way that Kate would still be working here if that were the case. She seems to have some decency.

“Not that it’s any of my business,” Kate says from the kitchen. I can hear toast pop up in the toaster. “But what exactly brought you out here? I’ve seen your resume. I can’t imagine that working at Moonwater is a step up for you.”

I’m not sure how truthfully I want to answer. I give her my stock one, which is still the truth. “It’s not easy finding a job in Chicago. The restaurant scene is highly competitive. I had to move back in with my parents and I was pretty much going crazy when this opportunity came up.”

“Right,” she says, coming back into view, munching on a piece of toast with avocado mashed on top. She leans casually against the wall. Still in her underwear. “So is Logan helping you out or are you helping Logan out?”

I swallow down the rest of the coffee. “Maybe a bit of both.”

“Can I give you some advice?” she says. “You’re helping Logan out. That’s all you need to know. Never give him the upper hand.”

I raise my brows, my grip tightening on the empty mug. “Personal experience?”

“We don’t see eye to eye either. But I still like my job. I’ve learned to roll with it. And part of that reason is because I refuse to let him get under my skin. See…everyone liked working for Juliet. She was a lot more diplomatic than Logan. She was the one who dealt with the staff, not him. So when she…when she was gone, it was hard for all of us, and for Logan, to make that transition. It’s still hard. But I don’t put up with his shit. He’s not doing me any favors; I’m doing him one. And that’s really the only way to survive here.”

Well I can pretty much rule out Logan and Kate ever getting together in that way. They seem just as incompatible as we do.

But slices of the dream cut into my vision. His lips at my neck, the feel of his fingers inside me, probing deep. The endless want that was seconds from being fulfilled.

Even though Kate can’t see what I’m thinking, I look away, completely ashamed. I can’t control my dreams but this is the absolute worst time to be thinking about it, when she’s just mentioned Juliet.

“Hey,” Kate says softly, bringing my attention back to her. “I know things are hella complicated for you. Just remember this isn’t the be-all and end-all. If you don’t like it here, you can quit. You hate the island, you can move. No one, not your family, not your resume, is holding you here. It’s a big world and Kauai is a very tiny piece of the pie. You’re in charge, you’re in control and it’s your life. No one else’s. Right?”

I slowly nod. “Right,” I say, managing a weak smile. Damn. It’s this early in the morning and Kate already seems to know more than enough about me. I wonder if I’m that obvious or she’s just that observant. Probably a little of both.

“Okay, I’m off to work,” she says. “You know where to find me.”

She gives a quick wave that reminds me of that monotone actress from Parks and Rec, and then disappears around the corner. The door shuts behind her.

I run her mini-pep talk through my head. She would be right if I were anyone else. I should be able to get a job back at home. I should be able to get a job anywhere.

But that’s not the case at all. Moonwater Inn is the only place that I know didn’t place a reference call, mainly because I never provided the information. And even if Logan did manage to scrounge up Erik’s name and get a hold of him, it wouldn’t matter the lies that Erik told him because, hey, I’m here aren’t I?

To my parents, moving to Kauai and working at Moonwater seemed like the smart option. I’m not sure they realized that, short of starting my career all over again, it was the only option.

So as much as Kate says that I can do what I want, where I want, I really can’t. Not when it comes to moving forward in my dreams.

It’s Kauai or bust.

With that in mind, I get up and start getting ready for the day. If anything, one piece of her advice is ringing through my head.

Never give Logan the upper hand.





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