Life was better when it puttered along without surprises. It really was.
Billie turned to her mother, determined to escape this growing sense of unease. “Do we really have to have a party? Surely Andrew can feel celebrated and adored without a twelve-course meal and archery on the lawn.”
“Don’t forget the fireworks and a parade,” Andrew said. “And I might want to be carried in on a litter.”
“You want to encourage this?” Billie asked, gesturing to him with an exasperated hand.
George snorted into his soup.
“Will I be permitted to attend?” Georgiana asked.
“Nothing in the evening,” her mother said, “but certainly some of the afternoon entertainments.”
Georgiana sat back with a cat-in-the-cream smile. “Then I think it’s an excellent idea.”
“Georgie,” Billie said.
“Billie,” Georgiana mocked.
Billie’s lips parted in surprise. Was the entire world tipping on its axis? Since when did her younger sister talk back to her like that?
“It’s settled, Billie,” her mother said in a tone that brooked no dissent. “We are having a party, and you will attend. In a dress.”
“Mother!” Billie cried out.
“I don’t think it’s an unreasonable demand,” her mother said, glancing about the table for confirmation.
“I know how to behave at a house party.” Good Lord, what did her mother think she would do? Come to dinner with riding boots under her gown? Race the hounds through the drawing room?
She knew the rules. She did. And she didn’t even mind them under the right circumstances. That her own mother thought her so inept… And that she would say so in front of all the people Billie cared most about…
It hurt more than she could ever have imagined.
But then the strangest thing happened. George’s hand found hers and squeezed. Under the table, where no one could see. Billie jerked her head to look at him – she couldn’t help it – but he’d already let go and was saying something to his father about the price of French brandy.
Billie stared at her soup.
What a day.
Later that evening, after the men had gone off to have their port and the ladies were congregated in the drawing room, Billie stole away to the library, wanting nothing more than a spot of peace and quiet.
Although she wasn’t really sure if it counted as stealing away when she was required to beg a footman to carry her there.
Still, she’d always liked the library at Crake House. It was smaller than the one they had at Aubrey Hall, and it felt less imposing. Almost cozy. Lord Manston had a habit of falling asleep on the soft leather sofa, and as soon as Billie settled into the cushions she understood why. With a fire in the grate and a knitted blanket thrown over her legs, it was the perfect place to rest her eyes until her parents were ready to return home.
She wasn’t sleepy, though. Just weary. It had been a long day, and her entire body ached from her fall, and her mother had been spectacularly insensitive, and Andrew hadn’t even noticed that she wasn’t feeling well, and George had, and then Georgiana had gone and turned into someone she didn’t recognize, and —
And, and, and. It was all ands this evening, and the sum of it all was exhausting.
“Billie?”
She let out a softly startled shriek as she lurched into a more upright position. George was standing in the open doorway, his expression made unreadable by the dim, flickering candlelight.
“Sorry.” She squeezed her eyes shut, taking a moment to catch her breath. “You surprised me.”
“My apologies. It was not my intention.” He leaned against the doorjamb. “Why are you here?”
“I needed a bit of quiet.” She still could not see his face clearly, but she could well imagine his bemused countenance, so she added, “Even I need quiet every now and again.”
He smiled faintly. “You don’t feel cooped up?”
“Not at all.” She tipped her head, acknowledging the riposte.
He took a moment to consider this, then said, “Would you like me to leave you to your solitude?”
“No, it’s all right,” Billie said, surprising herself with her statement. George’s presence was oddly calming, in a way Andrew’s or her mother’s or really any of the others’ never were.
“You’re in pain,” he said, finally stepping into the room.
How had he known? Nobody else had. But then again, George had always been uncomfortably observant. “Yes,” she said. There was little point pretending otherwise.
“A great deal?”
“No. But more than a little.”
“You should have rested this evening.”
“Perhaps. But I enjoyed myself, and I think it was worth it. It was lovely to see your mother so happy.”
George’s head cocked to the side. “You thought she was happy?”
“Didn’t you?”
“To see Andrew, perhaps, but in some ways his presence only serves to remind her that Edward is not here.”
“I suppose. I mean, of course she’d rather have two sons home, but the reminder of Edward’s absence is surely outweighed by the joy of Andrew’s presence.”