He hadn’t given her husband a chance. Alanna bit her lip and said nothing as they approached. The sunshine threw the fading scars on his face into sharp relief, though the doctors had repaired much of the damage. He would still be a handsome man when the scars faded.
A slight smile lifted his lips. “You look beautiful as ever, Alanna.” His voice still held a raw, husky edge from the damage done by heat and smoke inhalation.
What was she supposed to say to that? Flattery didn’t erase the way he’d destroyed her life. In the end she said nothing, just continued to stare at him until he shuffled and dropped his gaze.
“What are you doing here?” she repeated, her gaze flitting from him to Ciara’s pleading gaze.
“I need a favor,” he said.
Her eyes snapped back to his face. “You’re expecting me to do you a favor?” She didn’t bother to hide the incredulity in her voice. His light brown eyes held her gaze. Maybe it was the color that so reminded her of Liam. In college, they’d often been mistaken for one another from a distance and thought it great fun.
“Takes cheek, you’re thinking, right?”
“Did you kill Liam?” she asked, not caring when he winced. “You were talking about suicide. Did you try to kill yourself and take your best bloke with you?”
“Don’t say such things,” Ciara murmured.
Alanna turned a scowl on her friend. “Whose side are you on, Ciara?”
Ciara narrowed her eyes. “Yours, mate. You need to listen and not make judgments. Barry is rubbing off on you already, is he?”
Alanna swallowed back the harsh words forming. Ciara loved her and only wanted to help. She glared at Jesse. “For the last time, why are you here?”
“I wish it were me that died and not Liam,” he said softly.
“You don’t even remember him,” she said. “So I’m thinking that’s a nice platitude but hardly real.” She studied his face. “You haven’t regained your memory, have you?”
He shook his head. “I don’t even recognize the face in the mirror every morning, but that doesn’t keep the guilt away of knowing I killed a friend, even if I can’t remember what happened that night.”
She tried not to feel any pity, but she couldn’t imagine living such a twilight existence. “What do you want from me?”
“A job.”
Her eyes widened. “What kind of job?”
“Liam is gone, but I can fill in for him. I’ve been taking drum lessons, and I’m pretty good at it. Better than I expected. Ciara said you need a percussionist. You need a drummer, and I need a job.”
She shot an accusing glare at her friend. “You recruited him?”
Ciara had the grace to look away at first, then lifted her chin and stared back at Alanna. “I did. We need a drummer, Alanna.”
“Not just any drummer,” she blurted out. “And it’s more than drums. It’s the bodhran, the bass, and the shakers. A new drummer wouldn’t work.”
“I’ve heard him, Alanna. He’s deadly good,” Ciara said. “Even on the bodhran. And you know how hard that is.”
Alanna glanced back at Jesse. He stood with his feet planted apart and his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Liam used to stand just that way. The two men had shared many mannerisms after rooming together all those years, and it was even more disconcerting now than it had been when Liam was alive.
Jesse’s gaze never wavered. “Give me a chance. I’ve been working hard on all of those things. I’m thinking I can do it.”
Unbelievable, he was. “Why should I give you Liam’s job?” The thought of anyone taking her husband’s place on a permanent basis made her throat tighten.
Ciara stepped in front of him. “We’re needing him, Alanna. Without a percussionist we’re going nowhere. At least listen to him.”
Alanna beckoned her to the porch. “I want to talk to you.” Ciara sighed but went up the steps to Alanna. Alanna put her hands on her hips and glared at her friend. “I think he killed my husband. How can I see him every day knowing that?”
“Adams is still just guessing. I can’t believe you’d think of turning down our chance at having a decent percussionist. You’re not usually being so judgmental.”
“Judgmental?” Alanna took a step back.
Ciara gripped Alanna’s forearm. “He’s learned some of Liam’s tricks, says he’s been listening to CDs of our songs. We can pick up where we left off. Even his mother said all he does is practice.”
Alanna barely heard Ciara’s statement about Jesse’s ability. Her gaze went back to Jesse, who stood waiting patiently. Liam had loved this man.
Still she didn’t think she could take seeing him every day.
She opened her mouth to tell Ciara no, but the pleading expression in her friend’s eyes gave her pause.
“Think,” Ciara said. “Where are we going to get a good percussionist on such short notice? We need to start practice right away, even if the studio isn’t done. Our first concert is right around the corner.”
Ciara was right. Alanna needed to consider what was best for Ceol. She sighed and hunched her shoulders. “Let the bloke try.”
“Shall we set up on the porch?” Ciara asked. “We’ll be having shade that way.”
Alanna nodded and went to help haul up the equipment, but Jesse shooed her away.