“The women just soak it up, huh?” Derrick says to Rock. “Remember that chick, Kellan’s last girl? She kept stalking him.”
The words sting. They only confirm that I was just another conquest in a long list of them. That I was only a good fuck.
Isn’t that what he called me?
“I’m sorry. I should go.” I get up and turn, dashing past tables, through the door, heedless of the people rushing to get out of my way, until I’m outside.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Above me, the moon and billions of stars are shining, their presence my only company as I head down the dark road. I’m walking fast, feet pounding, trying hard not to think or analyze the last week of my life.
I need the solitude and the detachment to keep myself from going crazy.
I don’t ever do crazy. I forbid myself from doing it.
It happened once, and it made me obsessive. It made me love and swear off relationships for good.
Fucking a rock star with all the fans, the drama, and the emotional entanglements that come with it—that’s a whole new level of crazy.
It tops all the charts.
A cold gust of wind seeps through my clothes, sending a shudder through me. I wrap my jacket tighter around me, cursing the fact that Josh was nowhere to be found when I left the bar. I would have liked him to drive me to Kellan’s place to get my car, but I couldn’t wait for him. I couldn’t ask around, go looking for him. The chance of bumping into Kellan was too great.
It was either risk having to face Kellan again or head back without Josh driving me.
I chose to walk.
Now, I’m freezing my butt off.
I’m far past the point where I even care if Mandy’s joining me. She’ll be fine with Josh. I know she will. She made it pretty clear when she left me alone with Kellan on his ranch.
It’s all her fault.
If it weren’t for Mandy, I wouldn’t have to deal with my emotions.
If it were not for her, I would have sold the tickets and never met someone like Kellan. Someone so sexy, he’s every woman’s dream.
But that’s exactly what he is.
A dream.
Not realistic.
The sooner I grasp the facts the better, before my stupid heart wants to confess that I have fallen in love with him.
Somewhere in the distance, a car’s approaching. I turn and see the headlights. For a moment, I consider signaling it to hitchhike to Kellan’s place, then realize it’s Kellan’s truck.
Even though I know that I’m being ridiculous, I turn my back to it and hasten my steps.
The truck pulls up next to me, and the window rolls down.
“Ava?”
I continue walking, mumbling, “Leave me alone.”
The truck speeds up, coming to a halt a few yards down the road. Leaving the engine running, Kellan jumps out and slams the door shut. I try to ignore him as he plants himself in front of me, until I have no choice but to look up into his face.
“What are you doing? You cannot walk out here all alone.” His expression is a mixture of worry and anger.
“I’m an adult.”
“And I’m your host, and I say you can’t be here alone.”
I shrug. “Why not? You said it was safe. What changed your mind?”
“I wasn’t talking about the people, Ava. We have wild animals, and they can be dangerous.” He sighs. “Look. I know you’re pissed.”
“Pissed?” I scoff and stare at him, pointing to my face. “Does my face look pissed? I’m hurt, Kellan. Disappointed. You told me you wouldn’t return before the weekend. I thought that was our goodbye. A really crappy one, by the way. And then I find out that the sole reason I’m here is because you arranged for me to win tickets.” My anger’s choking me, but I don’t care. I have so much to say to him. “The past week, I told you everything about my life, and you barely fed me morsels of information about yours. You kept the fact that you’re a famous rock star to yourself. How is that fair?”
“I know how that sounds.”
“You do?” I ask, doubting it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He hesitates. “I wasn’t sure you’d understand.”
I shake my head. “Of course. What else?” I move past him to resume walking, when his hand grips my upper arm to stop me.
“I mean it,” Kellan says. “I thought you wouldn’t understand.”
“Why wouldn’t I understand? It’s not like you have to be embarrassed for your job.” I try to look up into his eyes, which isn’t possible. He’s standing so close, I have to tilt my head back, and it hurts. “Fuck, everyone would want to be in your shoes.”
“Exactly. That’s why I kept it from you.”
“I don’t understand.” I frown at him. “You thought I’d be jealous? That I might want to be a rock star?”
The assumption is so ridiculous, I find myself laughing.
“No, Ava,” he says sharply, “I thought you would judge me.”