Her head pops up. Red, wet face, smudged eyes, and runny nose. Both sleeves of the white dress shirt of her uniform are soaked through. I see skin. “Oh,” she says, wiping everything up with her cuffs.
She gets her things together, but I stop her. “Are you okay?”
Bailey’s face crinkles up and she starts to cry again. “No,” she says in a whisper. “Please don’t tell him.”
I get her a tissue from a pocket pack Mom stashed in my bag on the first day of school. She takes it and blows her nose. “Tell who?”
“JP,” she says, all irritated.
“I won’t. But honestly, who cares what he thinks.”
She breaks down in a fresh round of tears.
“I know you guys broke up, but it’s gonna be okay.” I pat her on the shoulder, but just once so it doesn’t come across as creepy.
“I don’t know what I did wrong.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, trust me.”
“I told my mom I was going out with the most popular guy in school and she was just, I don’t know…She was so proud of me because I was actually leaving the house and doing normal high school things.”
“You don’t need JP to get out and go do stuff.”
Bailey’s tissue is a wet rag, so I get her a new one. “He dumped me in my own driveway,” she says, dabbing everything at once. “He came over and goes, ‘I think we make better friends, don’t you?’ and then next thing I know we’re sitting under my basketball hoop and making out. I asked him if we were still together, and he just shook his head no. Then he left. But we made out. I’m so confused.”
“That’s his way of doing it, I guess.”
“He was my first kiss. He said I was like no other girl he’d ever met.”
“Look at his track record,” I say. I don’t want to shrug, but I do. “This is his deal.”
Bailey glares at me. “Maybe you don’t get it, because you’re on a whole different side of the train tracks and all, but in a regular normal boy-girl relationship, we mean what we say.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I know what’s going on with you and your Jamie person. He told me.” Bailey mops up her cheek. “JP said you’re into her because she’s the best you can get, so maybe you just don’t know what it’s like in a normal relationship.”
I look over my shoulder. No one’s around, no one heard, and I’m thankful. It’s still too damn early. “Look, Bailey. Whatever JP told you, about anything, pick a topic, is a flaming pile of dog shit.”
“So you’re not going out with a tranny?”
“Don’t ever call Jamie that. I’m serious: that word is not okay.”
“But she is, I mean, she’s not a real girl,” she says.
“Jamie worries about school and friends and all that stuff. She’s as real a girl as you are.”
“No offense, but she’s not. Because she has, you know, boy parts, right? She didn’t get them chopped off yet?”
I lean in and whisper back, “Do you dwell on everyone’s junk when you meet them? Like, all you do all day long is think about dicks and janes? Is that your thing, Bailey? You can’t stop thinking about what’s in everyone’s pants?”
“No.” She throws herself back in horror. “Ew. I do not.”
“Then why are you doing it to Jamie?”
“Fine.” Her face is dry. She sniffs once more to seal it up. “You did kiss her on the cheek, though. I saw you.”
“I did.”
“So there you go.”
“You of all people should understand that relationships are a bit more complicated than that. But okay, yes. I kissed her on the cheek. Happy?”
“Are you going to bring her to a dance or something?”
“I…don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
Because before I knew, I absolutely would have, but now I wouldn’t, and I feel downright shitty about that fact. “Because I hate dances.”
“What’s her real name?”
“Jamie.” I get my books and put them on her desk. “Did you do trig last night?”
“Of course I did.”
“Spot me?”
“How very unlike you, Dylan.”
“Hmmph.” We plow through it, and I thank the crashing asteroid gods our teacher assigned only ten questions yesterday. Cakewalk. We close our books at the same time.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” I say. “About Jamie.” If I need to bury it inside, then I need to bury it everywhere.
“I won’t. I promise.” I hate that I’m relieved when she says that.
“See you in class?”
“Yeah,” she says, but she has no intention of moving. I can almost see Bailey going over every minute she ever spent with JP, dissecting it like the scientist she is and trying to piece it all together. She wanted the fantasy, and JP got out before she saw the reality. He always does. She doesn’t know how little she meant to him. I do, and that’s an awful thing.
I wonder if all JP’s ex-girlfriends feel the same way? Whispering to each other in solidarity and trying to warn girls before it’s too late. I hope so. A groundswell might get him to quit doing this shit. I hand her a few more tissues and leave her in the library.
Spread the word, Bailey.
The weirdness people send my way is like a wall of spiderwebs. It’s like I’m wading through invisible phantoms. I go to my locker and toss things where they need to go. When I close it, JP’s there. “Jeezus,” I curse under my breath.