Beast: Learning to Breathe (Devil's Blaze MC #5)

“Fuck,” Devil growls, stopping his swing and his hand goes to his gun almost as if by reflex.

We look out over the parking lot and shock fills me when Crusher and Dani pull up, followed closely by Trace and Ice. When I see Hayden on the back of Ice’s bike I can’t fucking believe it. I’m going to kill Crusher, and then I’m going to tear Ice’s head off his body.

“What the fuck?” I roar when the last bike is turned off.

“Hey, man,” Crusher calls out.

“Don’t hey me, asshole. What the fuck are you doing here? What the fuck is Hayden doing here?” I growl, anger vibrating through my system. I stomp over to Ice’s bike, ready to rip him off the damn thing and choke the life out of him. One thing stops me.

Hayden jumps off the bike and wraps her arms around me before I get the chance.

“Hayden, what the fuck are you doing on the back of a bike?” I rumble, hugging her with my free arm. I turn to look at Crusher, tempted to take the sledgehammer to his fucking face. “Why?” I ask him, using just one word, because fuck there’s too much pushing in my brain right now to sort through it all.

“You were late. The women wouldn’t stop until I agreed to come check on you and…Fuck man, you know what women are like. I figured it was safer to have them with me than it would be for them to sneak out on their own.”

“I’m going to fucking kill you later,” I warn him. He shrugs like it’s what he expected—which it should be.

“Just don’t cut his dick off,” Dani says, helpfully, over his shoulder.

“I’m not touching his damn dick,” I growl.

“Thank God for that,” Crusher says and Dani laughs.

“We finishing this or what, Sunshine?” Devil asks.

“I’m going to rip your head off along with his, later,” I tell him, motioning over at Crusher.

“You can try. Let’s get this shit done, can we? No offense, but I’m getting sick of North Carolina. I’d like to get back to Tennessee.”

“He’s got a woman he’s mooning over there.”

“The fuck I do. I don’t moon over a woman.”

“You do when that woman would rather suck any dick other than yours,” Ice jokes, walking toward us.

Devil takes the handle of the hammer and shoves it into Ice’s gut. I think he got off easy.

“Ow! Motherfucker!” Ice yells.

I pull away from Hayden and move her to stand in front of Crusher’s bike. I look down at her, and dare her to move. “Stay here while I finish up,” I order. I’ve barely walked five steps away from her when I hear her following behind me. Crusher and the rest of them are laughing in the background.

“I’m not a dog you can order to stay, Michael. What are you doing?” she asks.

I stop walking, I lean my head back and look up at the sky. In frustration, I let out one long growl.

“Michael!” she demands, trying to get my attention.

“I’m taking out the motherfucking garbage!” I tell her, my voice vibrating in anger. I know it’s harsh because she jumps back at my angry reply.

“Michael…”

“This place almost broke you, Hayden. I want it fucking gone!” I remind her, giving her ultimate honesty. Then I spin around and slam the sledgehammer back in that fucking building with all my might.





93





Hayden





Call it adrenaline, or stupidity, I’m not sure. But it hadn’t occurred to me yet where I’m at. I mean I knew I was headed here. But until this moment, I hadn’t allowed myself to consciously register where I am and what I’m doing. When I watch Michael take a swing at the building, that’s the moment it actually hits me. I’m back at Blade’s home. I’m at the Dwellers. I allow one quick glance, before the sound of Michael’s hammer hitting the building jars me. I jerk my head to watch him and realize that it’s the garden shed. My body feels flushed. A sick feeling washes over me and my body feels cold and clammy, while at the same time making me feel flushed. He’s tearing down the garden shed.

“Michael. What are you doing?” I ask, stupidly. I already know. I just…can’t believe it.

“Stay back, Hayden. I don’t want you near this place again,” his rough voice demands.

“Give me your hammer,” I demand.

“Fuck no. Woman you ain’t ever had a real man in your life before, but you need to start listening to me. Now back the hell away from here and let me finish this.”

“I want to hit it, Michael.”

“You’re pregnant,” he reminds me, but he doesn’t get it.

“I want to know that I helped, Michael. I need that for me and for Maggie,” I tell him, my body vibrating with that need.

“I’m doing this for you and for Maggie,” he responds.

“They almost killed her here, Michael,” I whisper, brokenly, knowing I don’t need to. He knows that and I don’t doubt that’s why he’s demolishing it now. What he doesn’t understand is I need to look back on this and know I helped. I need it for those days when I’m feeling weak, so that it can be like proof that I’m really not.

“Hayden—”

“They beat me, and I thought I was going to die. I said goodbye to Maggie here,” I tell him, my voice and body shaking. I wrap my arms around my stomach as if to protect her. “I want to help,” I whisper, and because I’m feeling desperate, I find myself begging. “Please, Michael. Let me help.”

“Here you go, darlin’,” the other guy that’s helping Michael says. I look up and he’s bringing me a glass soda bottle with a rag hanging out of it. There’s fluid in the bottom that I can only guess is gasoline.

“Damn it, Devil,” Beast growls.

“She can throw this and set the fucking shit on fire. It’s her right, the way I figure it,” he says, and I see compassion in his eyes.

His face is a little blurry, and it’s then I realize I’m crying. I use the back of my hand to wipe the tears away and stiffen up my spine. Today I am strong.

“Thank you,” I tell him.

“My pleasure, darlin’,” he says, with a smile.

“Can I do it now?” I ask Michael, taking the lighter that Devil hands me.

He huffs, but puts his hammer down and walks over to me. “If you get hurt throwing that, I’m going to kill everyone here and spend the rest of my life in jail,” he mutters, and I could almost smile.

“I’ll be careful.”

“Then do it and get it over with. Fuck, I never realized you were so stubborn,” he says.

“Welcome to my life,” Crusher jokes, as he and Dani come to stand beside us.

“Get it over with,” Michael says.

My hand shakes as I work the lighter. It doesn’t work on the first strike, and not even the second. Michael puts his hand over my shaking one. My eyes go to him.