“Crazier than you being bitten by a Russian mob guy and turned into a bear? Please. Go on and try me,” she teased.
He looked hesitant until she nudged his hip with her knee. “Toni fell through a wormhole at the designer outlet store she was working in and where the three women and Carl were shopping for Christmas. They fell into another realm called Shamalot, where she met the love of her life and plans to marry. One Prince Iver of Castle Beckett, I believe.”
Teddy rolled her tongue against the inside of her cheek and blinked. “Okay, you’re definitely testing the parameters of crazy. How do you know this for sure? I don’t want to doubt the Bickersons, but you have to see how outrageous this sounds, don’t you?”
Cormac’s laughter echoed around the basement. “I do see how outrageous it sounds, but Wanda had a message from my sister—one that could have only come from her or my best friend Damon. Oh, and a tattoo parlor in Atlantic City.”
“Care to divulge this information?”
“Uh, nope,” he said on a delicious grin.
“Okay, fine. So you trust they’re telling you the truth?”
“I do. Can’t say why, other than it’s not like I don’t understand an outrageous story. How many people would believe me if I told them I was turned into a bear by an angry Russian mobster? Besides, what do they have to benefit in pretending to help me?”
“Maybe lead you right to the Russian mob dude who wants to kill you?”
“Because?”
Suddenly, she was getting a much clearer picture of the attempt on her life last night. “Okay, for the sake of our predicament, let’s say what they’re telling you is true. What can they do to fix this problem?”
“I don’t know, but according to them, they’re pretty proficient at this kind of thing. Did they tell you about OOPS?”
Teddy’s head bounced up and down. “The support for paranormals in crisis? Yes. I heard all about it from Nina. Apparently, she was once the bruiser of this bunch.”
As they’d all settled into the castle last night, Nina had shown her the OOPS website and told her all about how each of them were turned. She’d only listened with half an ear, too caught up in her own fears to totally focus, but she vividly remembered something about genies and cougars and dragons. Oh yes. She remembered the bit about the dragons.
“She gave up her vampirism for Toni. She saved her life from an evil queen.”
Teddy snorted a laugh, unable to keep it from shooting from her mouth.
Cormac laughed, too. “I know. I know, but what choice do I have but to believe?”
“Right. Okay, now you’ve gone too far, buddy. An evil queen? Seriously?”
“Um, yeah. Seriously,” Nina said, suddenly standing before them, crumbs at the corner of her mouth from the cinnamon Pop Tart she held, Lenny tucked securely under her arm. “You got some kinda problem with that?”
God. She was like a cat.
Cormac and Teddy passed each other guilty glances. “You have to admit, it’s pretty outlandish,” she said with a sheepish glance up at the tight-faced ex-vampire.
Nina stuffed a hand inside her black hoodie, shoving the Pop Tart in her pocket, and leered down at Teddy. “I don’t gotta admit shit. You don’t have to believe a fucking word that comes out of my mouth. I don’t give a guinea pig’s fart. What you best believe is this: people want you two dead. I get why they want Cormac dead, but I don’t get why they want you dead, Teddy Bear. But I’m gonna find out. Now, quit loafin’ around down here like you’re on fucking vacay at Chez Statleon, waitin’ on the breakfast bell while your towels warm in the dryer and someone steams your sheets. Get dressed and get your asses upstairs so we can figure it out. We have shit to do.”
Teddy reached out a hand to Nina to apologize. “I’m sorry, Nina. I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just…”
Nina frowned, her beautiful face scrunching up in disapproval as she set Lenny on Teddy’s bed. “You were just flappin’ those lips to flap. I get it. You’re a chick. You say chick shit. But I lost my damn vampy powers for a reason, and it’s not something you two insensitive shits straight outta Goldilocks have any business snarkin’. I stopped that lunatic bitch Angria from killing Toni because she’s my GD friend, and the hell I was gonna let some whacked-out, jealous queen take her out. Toni was some badass in Shamalot. Always lookin’ out for everyone but herself. You have no idea what she went through to get where she is. So don’t make light about something you don’t know a damn thing about. That shit happened, and your sister’s one of the baddest bitches in the land. Don’t ever make the ha-ha in front of me about it again.”